DS7 refuses to read or do anything that resembles schoolwork at home- help!

[Jazzyjulia]

He is swiftly falling behind at school and can barely read at all, when he has an (occasional) interest in putting the work in, he does really well, but now, in Y3, he is getting worksheets sent home over the weekend as well as daily reading and he refuses to do ANY of it!
Ive tried everything, gentle cajoling, begging, bribing, threatening. He just will not co-operate, which is silly because on the odd occasion that he does, he always says "I really enjoyed that, Mummy"!
I've tried really hard to reason with him without getting cross and to make things fun and light, but it's so hard when I can see that if he just put in 10 minutes a day- his school life would be so much easier!
He is probably picking up on my frustration/ borderline panic but when he refuses point blank, it's very hard to disguise frustration.
He also has every trick in the book to delay- "Just let me finish this game, Just let me catch my breath/ scratch my foot/ yawn, have a massive, forced coughing fit out of nowhere" or he starts to negotiate- "I will read one page" etc.
School are putting in extra time to help him but he pulls the same tricks there and they are starting to struggle with him, he has been assessed for ADHD/ ASD and all negative, and if he WANTS to do something (Minecraft, play etc) he CAN give things his full attention.
I'm at my wits end and any tips/ strategies would be gratefully received.

My youngest never did homework. I never asked him to. He has dyslexia and dyspraxic and was undiagnosed ADHD ( now diagnosed and medicated but only recently). School work was unbelievably hard work and I thought his down time should be exactly that.

He retook years 11 and 12 and went to uni at 20 and studied politics and now has a great corporate job.

It's not a race. When he studies something that interests him he engages. What's more important IMHO is being interested in things. Diversify the way he is exposed to topics; watching videos, making presentations, talking to people. He clearly hates writing and learning at his age should be fun.

I personally would stop putting pressure on to do homework etc . There is little evidence that homework in primary school has a significant impact on achievement. Instead practical, useful and incidental learning,

With the reading, we did 'you read a line, I read a line (or two), you read a line, etc. Audio books are fantastic (helps with vocabulary, story structure, love of books) . Toe by Toe was the best 'intervention' we did for learning phonics . I also read to my eldest for many many years - including reading The Lord of the Rings!

Sounds like my son at that age. He’s mildy dyslexic with slow processing. Push for or pay for a dyslexic assessment before the end of Year 3. KS2 is when the work ramps up and you don’t really want to leave it much later than Year 3 to know what you’re dealing with. Good luck.

Op how behind is he at reading? What's his ort level?

I think you need a total reset here.

You are both stuck inside a rut and need to rebalanced and redress it all.

@RedToothBrush thanks so much for all the advice, there is loads to think about there, will definitely work on the fun element.
He doesn't have a huge amount of screen time but he is pretty motivated by it, I should definitely be using it as a bargaining chip.

I have a child in year 3 and am also a Primary school teacher.
We don't send worksheets home. They are boring enough. Ask the teacher what he is learning about and do it in a different way.
For example, I might do spellings whilst in the car and we try to think up a funny sentence with the word that needs to be spelt so they spell out and also understand the word in context in a sentence.
Also, think about what language to use when you want him to do the work. A really good book to read is 'when the adult changes, everything changes' It is aimed at teachers but parents could use some of it when working with children at home.

Try comics and also non fiction books about things he is interested in - minecraft, antarctic expeditions, crocodiles, motorbikes, Pokémon -it doesn’t really matter what it is. Don’t tell him the point is to try to get him to read, just tell him you thought it looked fun.

If there’s any worry about maths skills then try a family board game night. If you’ve got a specialist game shop near you then go and tell them what you’re looking for - something that a 7year old boy will like that will motivate him to practice maths - not a game marketed at improving maths skills but one that is just fun and incidentally requires maths skills (to spend points on new cards, to see who has the most attack points or whatever)

DD has autism and finds it difficult to do school work at home, one of the things we've tried in the past with great success is to build it into our routine so early Saturday morning we head to the local library (this is important as she sees the library as a work space not a home space) and she does her homework there then we go and get a coffee etc. She's a teen now so can go down there alone.

Reading to a child / audio books is almost as good as a child reading to themselves, it exposes them to a range of vocab, tone of voice when reading and then you can have a conversation about it later or they could have art supplies in the car and draw what the story is about.

DS started to read during lockdown when he was 5.

How?

Because it was the only way he could play Animal Crossing on the switch!

Don't worry about where the words come from. It's the act of reading combined with fun that's important.

Minecraft perhaps isn't as good for that element as Animal Crossing which is much more text heavy, but it illustrates a point.

It's about getting into the habit of reading and getting used to books.

There are lots of fun books out there. I really think books provided by school utterly fail to cover the 'fun' base a lot of the time.

It IS changing because there has been such an upsurge in publication of comic style books. This is being lead by David Fickling Books who are a children's publisher who are very much taking this on board. They are also responsible for the Phoenix Comic which I also highly recommend. The other benefit of comic style books is they are easier for kids with dyslexia to access and enjoy.

But it's taking time for these books to find their way into schools. It great they are being mass produced and sold cheaply in the supermarket though because they are flooding the market and that should speed up getting them to as many kids as possible.

Lots of really good advice on here on regarding homework!
Not everyone is a reader! If I were you, I would get in some reading material that I think he would really enjoy (lots of good suggestions above book-wise), but also consider including, comics, sticker books, activity books, even catalogues/brochures/leaflets if interesting to him. Let him enjoy this as he wishes. At the same time, I would start sitting down with him and reading to him - JUST reading to him. Let him choose what you read, and just enjoy it! Reading should be pleasurable, that is the most important thing to establish with a child, everything else follows from this. Try to hold the book (or comic etc) so that he can see the words you are reading. Then gradually, after he has shown some enthusiasm for these sessions, start asking him to read just a little, taking the lead from him, don't pressure him (start small and build up gradually). Fingers crossed you can establish the love of reading and he will then WANT to read. Good luck!

I also have a y3 and he's very good with homework but that's because we have a routine that we stick to. He gets home, has a snack and homework is done first. He likes for me to sit with him while he's doing it so I play with his baby sister and keep him company too. Once he's done he packs all his books back into his bag. And then he's free to play before dinner, bath. He gets 20 min a day so it's not a lot. We do reading at bedtime about 15 min. We are no screens during the week and he gets a movie on Friday if the week went well with homework and behaviour. We have stuck to this for a long time and he does really well with structure. Don't underestimate how bad screens are. My ds could be badly behaved when he had even 20min a day. I wouldnt pander to him getting to learn via Minecraft because he's learning that he gets his way. I would just persevere with a routine and consequences.

I would also get hold of some real books that might get him started. Old fashioned - but kids love them and I have known reluctant readers get really involved - are the TinTin books and later the Asterix books. Much more fun to hold a real book than a kindle too. Read them to him first, and enjoy talking together about the pictures, the jokes, the humour, by encouraging him to look at those aspects of the story you are engaging him, developing observation skills and showing him that reading can be just as absorbing as Minecraft.