Reception to Pre-school

[yaboreme]

I posted this week about my child having a horrendous start to reception (turned 4 end of August)

Spoke to the teacher we are doing mornings only this week to see if it will ease the anxiety/ separation.

My worry is all weekend we have had tears, crying about not wanting to go to school.

Is this because it's just too soon? Has anyone ever tried and been unsuccessful and moved back to preschool to enable their child to have a bit more time? Is this even a thing?

Thanks for reading.

I really don’t think going back to preschool will help, if anything I think it potentially reinforces the thinking of the child that school is bad, and something to avoid. It may also exacerbate anxiety as eventually he has to go to school and he will remember the upset and the move.
Practically will you be giving up his place and trying again next year? As I don’t think leaving and coming back will help either as friendship groups will be established.
Most children in my sons reception class had some anxiety this week and I’m sure a few will for a few more weeks.
Persevere if you can

What’s he actually worried about?

@Jojobees I know you are right. I just am at a loss at what to do? I could barely get his uniform on last week. But I know you are right, it will just reinforce that it's a 'bad place'.

@LittleBearPad the school, the teachers, me not being there the usual

Try not to let him see it’s upsetting you. Easier said than done so know. Also a nice picture routine might help. Like breakfast, wash/teeth, uniform shoes leave. Then rough school day one and then nice afternoon treats.
In my experience ( I’ve got a 14yr old and a 4 yr old) in a few weeks time this will be his new normal and he will be fine. It’s early days. Be consistent and positive and it will rub off.

If you are able, then flexi schooling for the first year could be an option?

@Jojobees thanks. Routine is always good. I'll ensure that's done. I used to do it when heading to nursery ie hung out clothes together for us to get ready in the morning, have breakfast, brush teeth out the door. It seemed easier as we didn't have a lot of time to play, because we have almost 2 hours before school there's more time to think about it.

It's hard because I do feel sad, but I've been doing my best not to show it. Afternoon treats sound good 👍🏻

@lochmaree what is flexible schooling? It's not something I've come across before.

Ask the teachers if they have a social story you can use at home. If you google there will be plenty online, but they might have one that has specific photos of people/places in the school.

It's very early days, give it more time. My eldest who is also late summer born went through various waves of being unsettled during reception, mainly to do with me not being there. He was happier once I'd left and eventually it calmed down and he's been very happy and settled since. I think this will sort itself, just give it some time.

@ElliesMum16 thanks, I have already looked as the school have a video for new starters and a booklet showing all the rooms, all the activities and the faces they will see daily. The teacher even did a video to watch during the summer.

@anxiousatnight thanks, it's nice to hear from a late summer born. A lot of the children are nearer 5 than they are 4. With an exception of a few. It was another horrendous morning of literally screaming through the door. The guilt is immense, we are trying just mornings this week but I spoke again with the teacher this morning who said next week he will do full time and have to get used to it. Not looking forward to that at all.

I know it's hard but I don't think it's uncommon - I have seen quite a few children screaming being pulled off fences this week to get them in.

My own DC spent two weeks at least crying every morning settling in to pre-school.

Also I would say they will have highs and lows once they have started and even those who run in first day, may have weeks, or months, later in the school year (like my other DC) where they say they don't like it, don't want to go. It's really common.

The bit I would be more interested in is not how they separate - that is hard for lots of little ones - but how they settle once they are in with their peers and the teacher. How long does it take them to settle once in? Can the teacher tell you what they are like, are they engaging, talking, playing once in?

If they were crying inconsolably for a really long time once in there, or they are calling you to come and pick them up because they aren't settling, then I'd be more worried.

If they settle well and engage once in, I'd keep showing up day after day and do your best to stay calm, and leave as quickly as you can can once you've handed over.

Whether he goes full time or part time is up to you, not the school.

If you want to start with a couple of mornings and work up to full time you can.

Yes it's completely up to you whether he goes part time or full time. You can take him out and restart him at Christmas. Or you can take him out and restart him next year if you want to.

Do you have other children at the school? Are you happy with the school generally?

They don't have to attend legally until they are 5. Schools don't like children starting part time because it means they get part time funding for them from county but that's not your problem.