Primary help...

[yaboreme]

My son turned 4 in August, went to a private nursery 2 days a week, moved him to the preschool within the school he has started this September from January full time.

When he started preschool in January we had a few tears but it soon passed and he was happy going in a morning and fine coming out.

He started on Wednesday In Reception, went in fine. I then got a call at 2 to say he had been crying all day? Picked him up a little earlier as they couldn't console him, tried again yesterday tears but managed to get him there, another phone call to say he'd pretty much cried himself to sleep in the office. So again had to go collect, no issue we aren't far.

This morning, he has been absolutely hysterical wouldn't get dressed, sobbing that he doesn't want to go to school. Was a struggle to get his clothes on, had to carry him through the door and into the classroom.

Spoke to him and asked if anything has happened, what it is that's worrying him but he just says he doesn't want to go?

I'm just so heartbroken for him as he has never been like this before and I'm really at a loss as to what I can do to make it a better experience for him.

I also worry that it's because he's only just 4 and that I've made a mistake, apparently he could have stayed in preschool for another year?

If anyone has any advice on how I can handle this and make him more settled I would really appreciate it.

I'll apologise now for any typos, I'm literally typing through tears this morning.

Sorry, op, I probably don't have any useful advice but can you find out whether he can get a place back in pre-school as it sounds too much for him, although obviously only been a couple of days so he may settle eventually.

There will be some knowledgeable folk on here who can advise whether you can still apply for him to start school next year at compulsory school age(5). It has to be done at a specific time in the year and I'm not sure if you've missed the deadline to apply or not. Meanwhile, from a mum to a boy who was also August born (and who is now 20!) I hope things settle for him.

If he was at the school nursery then presuming he had the whole summer off and was at home with you? That’s a really big adjustment as he’s basically starting from scratch and I’m not sure that you could say with certainty that he wouldn’t have been the same if he had stayed in preschool for another year. I really feel for you both but I’d give it at least another week to see if he starts to settle.

Oh how horrible, poor you and him. You could ask the school how else he can be supported - can he do fewer hours each day perhaps, if it would make him happier to know you’re picking him up at lunchtime for example. He doesn’t legally need to be full time until 5 years I think.
In the meantime look into deferring reception, see what the rules are where you live.

My LO has cried every day this week too but luckily has settled. Can you do a reward system? I have been offering ice cream and cake when we get home which seems to help. Whatever motivates your child try using that? Is it a new toy?

Only question I have about deferring is I got told the child then goes straight into year 1 and misses reception? Is that true?

If that is the case I think my LO would be further behind and reception would benefit them

You poor thing it so hard. Personally I would try for a few more days at least to see if it's just settling/establishing a routine. If not talk to the school and see if you can either do just mornings or if he can try again in Janaury or March. Hes so little x

Thanks everyone so much for your replies, honestly it means the world.

I believe some of you are correct in saying that he has had a whole summer (something he hasn't had before) at home with me and dad and has got used to there being no routine as such.

Im not going to put him back as he is a bright little thing, just maybe needs to catch up emotionally after a full summer at home.

I called the school and he is going to do just the mornings for the next week and possibly the week after depending how we get on and go from there. It's just so heart wrenching because I want him as much as he wants me, but I have to go to work and he has to go to school. So we will just have to keep trying.

Thanks again x