Disruptive child

[elsieandthepooch]

DD has just started in Y1. She goes to a 2 form entry school and at the end of the reception year they decided to mix the two classes. This worked well for us and DD was separated from one particular girl who was very intense and controlling with DD.

Anyway, I am not really part of the mum clique and whilst I've made a couple of good mum friends we're not part of the main group that will stand around and chat before and after school everyday. Yesterday one of the clique mums was talking to my friend and said that quite a few of the girl mums are unhappy about a particular girl being in the class this year. I had heard previously that this girl was disruptive and had also physically attacked another girl in reception last year, but because we had our own ongoing situation I hadn't really given it any thought. The girl in question has never, to my knowledge, hurt DD in any way or said horrible things.

At the end of the year, a lot of the mums had asked that their DDs were not in the same class as this girl. We are 3 days in to the new term and the level of disruption has been ramped up (allegedly). My DD has even said that X is being incredibly naughty when I asked her how her first few days had gone.

I feel it is becoming somewhat of a witch hunt from the other parents and I do feel sorry for this little girl. I don't really want to get involved but equally I agree that it is unfair if this girl is going to be so disruptive that it interrupts learning for the other children. Last year the reception teacher wouldn't address the issue direct with the parents after attacking another little girl due to how fragile her home life is so the other mum took it into her own hands. Is there a way concerns can be raised but without it coming over that parents are just unhappy x is in the class which I think for some parents is more the case than anything else?

I know this is a common everyday occurence across most classrooms!

Don't get involved in the witch hunt or gossip with parents, but equally if your child is upset by the behaviour or you feel that your child's learning is being negatively affected by the ongoing disruption I would speak to the school. It's not unreasonable to raise concerns about your child's education and ask what they will do to safeguard your child and ensure your child's education isn't sidelined.

The school have a duty of care to all children and a duty to educate all of the children, which includes your child.

You leave it alone. There are disruptive children in every class. The school will deal with the child in line with their behaviour policy and what they know about this child. Unless there is reason to believe that the teacher does not deal with the other child then there is nothing that the parents can do. The other mums don't know anything beyond the gossip of their children. 'X was really naughty today etc'. If the child hurts your child then you speak to the school. Other than that I wouldn't get involved. The child is entitled to attend the school and that's basically it. The school will tell the parents in a very polite way to mind their own business.

Stay out of it.

The other mum "taking it into her own hands" sounds ominous.

I would leave it. There are annoying/distracting people in school/uni/work your whole life.

Don't get involved. It's likely there's a back story to this girls behaviour and it's not nice. It's also school's responsibility to manage the children and if this girl is struggling they need to look at how they can support her better.

Be grateful there is only one!

There’s always a disruptive child. Often more than one. There are in both DCs classes. The only time I’m bothered is when it directly affects them. Not in a disrupting education thing but if they are physically harmed. Which has happened a few times.
I would ignore and only approach the teacher if it’s affecting your child directly

I agree with the above. Give your DC the skills to be able to confidently set boundaries if needed and then leave it to the staff. As a previous governor, I had to bite my tongue so often when parents did the "school aren't doing anything" or "the teacher won't involve the parents because X" etc because 90% of it was unsubstantiated (and wrong) gossip and lots was going on behind the scenes that not everyone knew about (and we didn't know all of it but more than some random in the playground).

The little girl is a 5(?) Year old, who has multiple adults speaking nastily about her everyday as she goes into school, which is obviously being herd by all the other children, who may be been told to stay away from the naughty child.

On top of this she is know to have a 'fragile' home life, and when the teacher to try to protect the 4/5(at the time) year old, grown adults decided to "take it into their own hands", possibly placing the little girl in danger of abuse.

I'd stay the fuck away from those bullying parents, they sound awful.

Last year the reception teacher wouldn't address the issue direct with the parents I don't believe that the parent who complained was told that. Any punishments or talks with the parent of the disruptive child are none of the other parents' concerns. It sounds like gossip and I would steer clear of those parents.

There have been disruptive children in schools for decades. Staff have training to deal with these children (I witnessed this first hand as I volunteered in a primary for over 10 years) and under the Equality Act these children have a right to be educated amongst their peers. Of course if it gets out of hand and all measures put in place don't work then the child is temporarily removed but usually with the intention to return them. Just hope your home life is never impacted in a way that makes your child act out in school. We have had divorces, playground affairs, terminal illnesses of parents and deaths of parents that of course impact behaviour.

What I would tell you DD, learn to establish boundaries, telling other children if they do something she doesn't like to tell them that. And also to stop reporting about what other children did that day and instead what did she do? What did she not like about today and what did she love about today. We used to call it pits and cherries. Put the focus on her not other children.

If something impacts your child, then talk to the school about the impact on your child.
Parents doing this can strengthen the school's case for extra support / applying for EHCP etc.

Don't get involved school will be dealing with it, chances are the poor girl may have a bad home life or additional needs