Anyone else's child cry going in?

strawberryblue · 2023-09-06T07:36:00+00:00

My DC has cried going into year 1. DC does enjoy school whilst there but finds separation difficult was fine on way there. DC cried and once they went in I crieed (I know!) just feel like the worst possible mum anyone else?

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Parker231 · 06/09/2023 08:37

Did they cry going into nursery or is it only school?

RockAndRollerskate · 06/09/2023 08:38

Oh lovely why would you think it makes you a bad mum?

My 3yo goes to breakfast club before his half days and didn’t cry but had to be prized off a bench yesterday. The teacher was fab and told me to go. This morning he told me he wasn’t feeling shy today and walked right in.

There’s an episode of bluey where the dad winds Bingo up like clockwork and she walks in like that - I’ve had some friends who’ve had success with that method - just a bit of silliness to start the day

Original poster

strawberryblue · 06/09/2023 08:53

Nursery as well they started late covid etc but then no after settled reception same a couple of days at start then fine so I'm
Hoping this is just a phase

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Strawberryboost · 06/09/2023 08:54

Surely it’s day 1? Or day 2?

Wonderfulstuff · 06/09/2023 09:07

Mine too - and no cute photos for us because they cried the whole way to school. Feels horrible doesn't it OP - hugs to you!

Mrsweasleysclock · 06/09/2023 09:10

My son did this for the first half term in year 2. He likes school, fine once in but didn't like leaving me after we had a summer holiday together all day everyday.

It's not you, you're doing great. It's tough, it's just a phase. Support him through it as best as you can.

PoppyPopPop · 06/09/2023 09:13

If it makes you feel any better, my son has just started year 3 and still has trouble going in. He absolutely loves everything about school and is flying there he just hates the separation. It's taken lots of deep breathing from me. It comes in waves. We'll have good days and bad days for no obvious reason. Hard not to blame yourself but it's certainly not you. some of them just find it tougher. My year 1 marches in without a backward glance so I think it's just luck! Don't feel bad for crying once he's left too. I've been there.

I've also taught in year 1 or 2 for the last 15 years and it is common for tears. Really tough on the mums.

PoppyPopPop · 06/09/2023 09:17

Oh, and I don't want to scare you. Most of them have moved out of the phase before year 3!!!! Bug hugs.

Taketurn · 06/09/2023 09:59

Mine didn't even look back at me and was upset when we picked him up. It's too early he said😂
He just started reception so he's only going in for 2 1/2 hours a day for the first 3 weeks.

TotalOverhaul · 06/09/2023 10:08

Mine used to until I crouched down beside him and said: "I know. It's so sad that we will be apart today. When you are learning new things at school and playing with your friends, always remember I will miss you all day long and think about you all day long and make your favourite tea when you get home." He literally stared at me and said, "OK!" and trotted off. No more tears. I think he just thought I'd forget about him if we were parted.

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 06/09/2023 15:24

DS started reception….. he barely slept last night, everything this morning was a nightmare, he was carried in crying, I had a phone call at lunch time saying he really struggled all morning.

😭

Parker231 · 06/09/2023 15:44

Taketurn · 06/09/2023 09:59

Mine didn't even look back at me and was upset when we picked him up. It's too early he said😂
He just started reception so he's only going in for 2 1/2 hours a day for the first 3 weeks.

We rejected the staggered start and notified the school that they would be attending full time from day one - much less unsettling as they were use to full time nursery.

Taketurn · 06/09/2023 15:48

Parker231 · 06/09/2023 15:44

We rejected the staggered start and notified the school that they would be attending full time from day one - much less unsettling as they were use to full time nursery.

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Really? We weren't even given a choice so we just assumed that's how it's done. We would absolutely let him attend full time from day one.

Parker231 · 06/09/2023 15:52

Taketurn · 06/09/2023 15:48

Really? We weren't even given a choice so we just assumed that's how it's done. We would absolutely let him attend full time from day one.

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Schools often don’t let parents know but it’s a legal right to be provided with full time education from the start of term. DH and I both work full time so a staggered start wouldn’t work for us - or DT’s.

Pegsmum · 06/09/2023 15:59

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 06/09/2023 15:24

DS started reception….. he barely slept last night, everything this morning was a nightmare, he was carried in crying, I had a phone call at lunch time saying he really struggled all morning.

😭

Oh bless him, and you. It sounds like he was really worried if he barely slept, hope he starts to settle in and enjoy it soon.

Original poster

strawberryblue · 06/09/2023 16:49

Thank you all for your kind words! Yes today was day 1. Apparently fine after wobble so hoping tomorrow is a better one wish me luck and wish you all luck for the ones in the same boat! Xx

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cakecoffeecakecoffee · 07/09/2023 12:51

@strawberryblue how was this morning?

DS was a bit better…. not great but better than yesterday. We had a lunchtime meeting with his teacher and she was very supportive.

Original poster

strawberryblue · 08/09/2023 00:44

@cakecoffeecakecoffee much better! But already had wobbles for tomorrow so let's see glad your teacher was supportive dcs one is lovely too they will get there day by day fingers crossed!

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Hihosilver123 · 08/09/2023 21:44

Parker231 · 06/09/2023 15:44

We rejected the staggered start and notified the school that they would be attending full time from day one - much less unsettling as they were use to full time nursery.

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It can be tough on the child though, to be the only child left when the other reception children have gone home (if they’re doing half days). They’ll be the only one in the dinner hall and often the afternoons are used for parent meetings in the classroom so they may have to sit somewhere else with a TA.

DawnBreaks · 08/09/2023 21:57

I worked in Foundation and Year 1 for many many years and there was rarely a time when a child continued to be upset after the first few weeks. Obviously there were some children who took longer to settle, but on the whole it was always short lived.

I used to take photos of the 'upset' child playing happily during the session, just to prove they had actually settled ok in the end! If there were extreme cases of not settling, I kept in touch via text to reassure the parents that all was ok! But as a Mum myself, I know how bad it makes you feel when you leave a crying child!!

I do disagree with rejecting the staggered starts though. I know its difficult if both parents are working, but in my experience it really does help the child get used to being in school, in a gentle manner.

Parker231 · 08/09/2023 21:59

Hihosilver123 · 08/09/2023 21:44

It can be tough on the child though, to be the only child left when the other reception children have gone home (if they’re doing half days). They’ll be the only one in the dinner hall and often the afternoons are used for parent meetings in the classroom so they may have to sit somewhere else with a TA.

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The majority of their class started full time from day one so straight into teacher lessons and a normal school day which is what we wanted for them. They also did breakfast and after school club from day one so a good routine from the start.
They had been at full time nursery from six months old so a staggered start would have been confusing (and no one to look after them if they hadn’t been in school).