Local v private

[Anyfeckinusername]

Christ on a bike, I wrote up my post and lost it.

Nutshell -

International relocation from U.K. to overseas. New school system now.

Kids have left a village primary school in super performing part of England.

Finally got to visit the new school which was booked from U.K., but now I've seen it, my gut reaction is not good. It just seems huge, like a concrete jungle, little play time, no resources and the school though lovely and nice didn't seem to bothered about much academically regarding my kids, no policy seemed to kick in. Also, a bit of flag in terms of no medical policy and my DC have two conditions I raised with them already, they said something about just keeping their meds in their school bag and they take them when they felt like it? Err no.

Cue me smiling and leaving and thinking oh F*.

Conscious I might be panicking.

We had driven by a school 20 mins away in the weekend. A gorgeous private school for 4 - 13 year olds. I phoned them. Felt so reassured and familiar when they talked about a hill and policies. It matched my work hours, offers the extra curricular classes we already did in England... but it's a v v posh private small school. I felt such relief when I spoke to them... but now my head is reeling with what to do. They are literally due to start at the local school in the morning!

My head is trying to figure out if I'm just panicking like any mum at new change, do I suck it up and see...

Please help me navigate through my head on this one

Sorry for the jumbled post, written in a hurry, trying to snatch a moment to think! Thank you

20 minutes is nothing. can you afford it?

If the fees wouldn't leave you with a significantly below-average disposable income for the school's typical demographic (such that your children would feel themselves significantly disadvantaged relative to their classmates) then yes go for it. Having moved countries can be quite traumatic if not managed well, and a supportive and caring school is really helpful for ensuring they find it positive and empowering experience rather than a confusing and overwhelming one. But it's no fun being the poor kid in a school full of the kids of much much wealthier families.

I'd probably start the local school and see how it goes. If they are young there is much less urgency if you need to move again.

If you are unfamiliar with the system you might just be adjusting?

Thanks all.

I'm very familiar with the system here - it's my home (but different part of the country).

I don't think it would leave us struggling but I don't know if I'm having a panic about the local school - is it a gut feeling or a panic - I can't tell because I feel under such pressure to 'call it' tonight.

It just felt a bit miserable at the local school but I'm just comparing them to their little village school back in England

Financially I expected to have to go private for secondary due to not great schools nearby but it thought the local primary would do fine...

I'm being told by partner to basically chill, but I don't agree with that. You don't just "wait and see and say a prayer it'll all work" with schools. In England I had moved specifically to be in a catchment and it paid off.

Really unsure. I know myself I can be a worrier and I back and forth and tonight I'm on steroids doing so

Do they offer a school bus? Dc went 20 minutes away, it was tricky not to for private school. Are you expat or hoping to integrate as locals?

No I'd drive them in - I haven't seen any mention of a school bus but the drive is on no consequence. I'd still make it to work on time as school starts at 8:30am.

I am worrying I'm denying them the chance to mix in a big school and meet lots of locals - surely plenty will be lovely - is that a bad denial? Plus they won't be involved in the local sport as the private school does different...

Maybe I just caught the local school on a busy prep day...

I'm not a million miles from where I grew up but this is properly country and I'm not from the country. This is worlds apart. The pace is very relaxed, most homes seem to have a mum at home or working very local. The pace is slower. After school clubs don't seem to be a thing as there isn't a need. I'm basing that on a very limited exposure to live here - two whole weeks :P but still, it's different.

I love the idea of my kids picking up the local accent and making good solid friends... but I also worry about if they get drowned out in a big basic school and get left behind and not love school ...

Wish I'd come away feeling more positive with the local school, but I am where I am

I think on the basis of your 2 latest updates that the private option is definitely the right choice for your circumstances.

Trust your gut. I'd go private if you can afford it.

In that situation I’d give the local school a go; and see how it goes. I think you need more time to make a proper decision; go through your finances. I’d personally never want to drive my kids to school, so consider that. It seems fair to give the local school a chance first

I would probably lean private then. Are you in Ireland? You don't mention language being a concern. If Ireland, then at least the fees are nice and low!

I think the move, especially if it's from England to rural Ireland, might be a bit of a shock to the kids (and there might be some bullying over their accents), and while I would normally say not to bother spending the money on private primary, and hang on to it for secondary, I think in this case it might be useful.

They'll still get a local accent from the private, at least their friends back in England will definitely think so!

I think you know that schools, if this is Ireland, do not have as much paperwork or policies and are for more laid back then in the UK. Also that breaks and lunches are shorter as there are no hot meals and schools tend to finish earlier - or if rural start later. This is the culture of the country and does not mean the education is below power. It does however mean it is different.

The health stuff I would very much insist on and I'm sure you can.

Again with losing my big long post?! Am I the only one that this happens to if I accidentally minimise the reply??

Anyway -
Whoop! That's for provoking my thought process. It helped 😊

Visited the private schools. Awestruck swoons all round. I'd like to go live there myself 😂. Forever.

Then I visited another National school which is only about two miles further in the other direction. Click! It all fell into place. Lovely atmosphere. Some after school clubs. Outdoor activities, a green field, not a concrete haven... lots of conversation on catching up on Irish (yep, Ireland!) and I felt confident leaving there that it was the one for us. There is space and the class sizes are not maxed out (in other year groups they are but I got lucky with the year groups mine are in)

I'm expecting to have to go private for secondary but for primary was a shocker, glad to avoid that bullet because I was looking at 20k pa fees between the two of them and that probably doesn't include all the extras - I also thought private was generally cheaper but that's no different really to Cambridge where we've just come from.

Anyway, I'll sleep on it tonight but I'm feeling at peace now!

Fee-paying secondaries are cheaper in Ireland than in the UK because they're partially funded by the government (which is controversial, there have been calls for this to change). However fee-paying primaries get no state funding.
Still, €20,000 pa for two DC is getting close to the top pricewise.

Glad you got everything sorted anyway. Hope they enjoy their new school (and welcome home!)

@TwirlBar this is for primary!

We're decided now, going local and if for any reason they're not settling we have the other amazing option of private. But selfish but I'd there have them both in the senior end of the school rather than one in junior / one in senior as the pick up times are different and it is a 35 min drive away so pickup would be very messy with a lot of add ons for the younger to balance it.

I've more fires to put out - no end to this move! I'm off work for one week while I get everyone "relocated"

I want to hoof off and go stay at the private school myself - it was bliss 😂

Which local school? While appearances are such an initial stimuli that is all they are really. It's the people who create any place and you saw it empty. And I just returned from France where I saw many schools, infant schools too, in life town centre buildings, old crumbling, somewhat concrete jungles (if gorgeous old style limestone ones) but I'm sure as educational institutions they are great. UK, and Ireland for Victorian/Edwardian schools, have a certain cute gorgeous look, as well as the 60s style standard school looks and now of course the more modern ones which do look a bit like factories.

Yes, so that's why it might be a bit dearer than you'd heard.

@AuroraCake jeepers no I didn't base my decision on the building but you're right they can create an odd impression out of term when they're empty. There was always a couple of other primary schools in other directions.

I had only 9 weeks to organise the entirety of our move for legal reasons. I missed the opportunity to do what most people would; drive around the villages, visit the schools in term time, do some step-up days etc; we arrived when the schools had closed here. So the initial school was chosen based on old school evaluation reports and looking at a map!

I've gone with a different national school, other direction and on a bus route, about a 1.5m further away so of no consequence in terms of friendship groups. (Where we live is very unpopulated/unspoilt countryside and no kids at a stones throw from our house). It's in a thriving heritage village and has lots of community stuff going on and the classroom sizes are spot on for my two - not too small but not huge either.

I would not send my child to private if it is not selective. Private schools are a business and of course, they will be nice to you. You give them money.

@ThingsWillWorkOut why do u think non selective schools are not good enough? Selective schools select the crème at entry point so it's invariably going to get top results, cz they got the brightest kids to begin with. If non selective schools have good results in average then it should b worth it no?

Value for money.
I would consider non-selective private only if I had SEN child.