Cliquey Primary School

[Sleepinallday]

My sons' primary school is getting me down. The head appears to be friends with some of the parents and will reserve front seats for them at school shows, can be seen hugging them on the school playground etc.

When parents are asked to accompany trips in the younger years the same parents are given priority each time, most of them a friend or relative of the head.

Some parents receive special treatment when they make requests that wouldn't ordinarily be agreed to. Other parents are spoken down to or patronised by the leadership team.

Parents not in the school clique are all aware of what is going on and a lot of people aren't happy. I was going to take this to the board of governors before a parent informed me that the board is made up of the head's friends and that the top governor is a distant relative of her husband!

I know my children are receiving a good education from their teachers which makes me wonder if I'm getting irritated over nothing. But, it just seems highly unprofessional to be running a school in this way and it bothers me that the same opportunities are not open to all.

Is there anything I can do?

I don’t think there is anything you can do. I would talk to head about it see what they say. You could ask about it on the Facebook page. If you are happy with the school I guess it might have to be something you have to endure. But don’t volunteer for anything. Don’t donate a gold coin for casual day, don’t send food for the bake sale. It works both ways.

The parents you are describing may have older children and may have been working with the school for years. Maybe they are PTA members and have given vast amounts of their time to arrange school fayres and other events. I was the PTA secretary for years and did get the odd perk but I also donated huge amounts of my time and PTA members always end up spending more cash at events so are donating financially too. I was also DBS checked by the school so on school trip could be considered a staff member and do toilet visits etc which other parents would not have been able to do so at times would be asked to assist if they were struggling with numbers. I'm my experience cliques don't exist, it is a term used by those who don't join in with conversations in the playground or help out when the school asks.

Cliques most certainly exist. from my experience. I hear the bitchfest everyday from my office window. I hear the plotting of lets go to Costa but don't let xxxxxxx know. I hear the comments about what others are wearing, driving... It's a form of bullying.

Dh has been a governor at various schools, and he jokes that the only perk he gets is front row seats at any shows (including those he doesn't have children performing in).

At the infant school, they also reserved spaces at the front for the parents who had given up their time to help dress the children beforehand. That's perfectly fair (and I speak as one who never did it) as they would be otherwise there for an hour before the show and in the standing at the back rows because they were always busy up to just before the performance.
They also gave priority for helping on trips to those who also helped out regularly. It was meant to be a perk, but wasn't one that ever appealed to me.

I suspect you're seeing "clique" and "favouritism" where actually it's the people who are putting in time are getting a small payback.