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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Tutoring for 4 year old starting reception

73 replies

Allbutone · 09/07/2023 10:13

Hi All,

Should I be looking for tutor for my DS who is 4 years old. I know he's quite young but I'm finding it difficult trying to teach him basic alphabets and numbers. He likes to watch a lot of TV.
How can I teach him at home?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Anoisagusaris · 09/07/2023 10:13

Is this a joke?

Original poster

Allbutone · 09/07/2023 10:14

Anoisagusaris · 09/07/2023 10:13

Is this a joke?

Why would this be a joke?

OP posts:

Exasperatednow · 09/07/2023 10:15

That's what school is for.

Badgersonthedoorstep · 09/07/2023 10:16

That's why he's starting reception. To learn those things. You can try and help him at home but might be best to wait until you know what method the school is using so not to confuse things.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 09/07/2023 10:16

Save your money by switching off the tv and playing fun educational games with him 🤷‍♀️

Azandme · 09/07/2023 10:21

He doesn't need a tutor. He needs a teacher. At school. Which is what he'll get.

What he needs from you right now is for you to decide how much tv is enough, and to just play with him.

Supertayto · 09/07/2023 10:21

Unless he has a really obvious gap already then I think you’d be jumping the gun a bit. See how he progresses during reception and ask the teacher for their view, perhaps in the summer term. I’m sure he’ll do fabulously!

Valhalla17 · 09/07/2023 10:21

No 4yr old needs a tutor.

roses2 · 09/07/2023 10:23

Why isn't your child at nursery instead of in front of the TV all day?

RaininSummer · 09/07/2023 10:24

He just needs to be played with and included in whatever you are doing and learning will happen as you talk to him and show him things. Turn the TV off.

Birdkin · 09/07/2023 10:26

If you want to help your 4 year old as a teacher I would say the number one thing you can do is read with him every day. Just focus on that. If you want to do maths incidental counting when you’re out and about is good too. He doesn’t need a tutor.

3peassuit · 09/07/2023 10:26

4 year olds learn through play. Play and read to him. He’ll be just fine.

roarrfeckingroar · 09/07/2023 10:27

Switch off the tv and play games with him that help him to learn numbers and letters.

GreenMini · 09/07/2023 10:28

Turn the screens off, and go places, do things, play and experiment together! Talk lots, read lots! That's all he needs.

GreenMini · 09/07/2023 10:31

GreenMini · 09/07/2023 10:28

Turn the screens off, and go places, do things, play and experiment together! Talk lots, read lots! That's all he needs.

Oh and focus on "life skills": feeding himself, self-toileting, putting on his own shoes, getting changed, sharing, sitting still and listening, following instructions, learning to not be destructive or violent, helping to tidy up.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 09/07/2023 10:32

Just spend time with him, without the TV. It doesn’t have to be hard - count the number of tins in the cupboard, get him to guess the content from the picture. Read books to him and ask him questions - what do you think will happen next, if you were there what would you do, how did the character feel? Books can be expensive and you might not have a library near you but the works do some nice box sets. Get some print outs of his favourite TV characters and colour them in, if you want to can sound out the first letter of the colour p for pink.

Orchard toys are also great for building basic skills, https://www.orchardtoys.com/ shopping list was a favourite for years for my two but you can’t really go wrong.

I know starting school can be nerve wracking, and if you read some posts of here all children have taught themselves to read by 3 and are grade 6 violin, but they are the unusual ones. Most come in ready to start from scratch.

If you are wanting to get school ready then some physical skills are really useful, putting his own shoes on and off, opening lunch/ snack items, using scissors (a bit not expecting perfection), replacing lids on pens…

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PandaPouch · 09/07/2023 10:36

roses2 · 09/07/2023 10:23

Why isn't your child at nursery instead of in front of the TV all day?

Most stupid comment of the day.

Mintearo7 · 09/07/2023 10:37

Let him have a couple of terms in reception first. They learn so much that first year. Then see what then teacher says in terms of development. If you think he’s behind then then consider a tutor.

Singleandproud · 09/07/2023 10:40

Your job as a parent from 0-18 years is to teach life skills of how to get dressed and what is appropriate for the weather/occasion, personal hygiene from washing hands and potty training to shaving, to teach cooking skills from helping to make rice krispie cakes to full meals. To model how to take turns, be polite, be resilient and to follow instructions and to show him he can do hard things too.

At the age of 4 you can do these things by having him with you whilst doing everyday chores, by playing simple board games, going to the park, and reading to him you will teach all of those things and can expose him to numbers and letter etc on the way.

What you don't need is a tutor or (lots of) screen time.

BoohooWoohoo · 09/07/2023 10:41

Is your child going to attend a state school? If so you don't need a tutor at age 4. It's very common not to know numbers and letters before starting.

Do you have a number on your door? Start with that and see if you can spot the number 9 or whatever when out and about.

Change his tv programmes to something educational. My children are much older so I can't recommend specifics but there's often a phonics or number programme.

nobodysdaughternow · 09/07/2023 10:42

My brightest, most academically able child watched a fuck tonne of tv.

He is an emotionally well adjusted 15 year old.

He wasn't an early anything and came across as quite average in primary.

I just let him find his own way and concentrated on loving and having fun with him.

Conversely ds9 never watches tv and is always outdoors. He is academically very behind and wants a practical career.

Our job is to enable our kids to find out who they are.

Original poster

Allbutone · 09/07/2023 10:43

Mintearo7 · 09/07/2023 10:37

Let him have a couple of terms in reception first. They learn so much that first year. Then see what then teacher says in terms of development. If you think he’s behind then then consider a tutor.

I was thinking about doing that.
I know he's only 4 and he'll catch up quite quickly.
It's just that he didn't know he's basic Alphabets; if I hold up a letter to him he cannot identify the letter. And it's only as of recently I started to get worried. I'll probably do his basic ABC at home for the summer and see how he gets on.

OP posts:

sanityisamyth · 09/07/2023 10:45

Do you know how to reach phonics? Which scheme do the school use to teach letters etc? I'd find that out before you try to do it yourself or he'll be very confused in September.

Topseyt123 · 09/07/2023 10:45

A tutor for a four year old!! You have to be joking, surely! He needs to be allowed to be a child, learning through play etc.

He will get everything you describe from his teacher at school. That is why he is now about to start school (September, I assume).

Read stories to him, play games, chat about jobs you are doing, let him join in.

For what it's worth, I could read long before I fully knew the order of the alphabet. That came later and I knew letters and phonics much more first. I remember that. He doesn't have to have the alphabet off pat right now, useful though it undoubtedly is for other things. It comes in time.

Don't try to hothouse him and apply huge and unnecessary pressure. He's a child.

Badgersonthedoorstep · 09/07/2023 10:48

Might be better to focus on the sound of the letter rather than the name.
Also focusing on the letters in their name can be more interesting for them compared with a long alphabet list.

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