Another Child pinched my childs genitals

[Nad99]

Hi first time posting, i guess i just want some advice, ds in reception was pinched on his penis by another boy at home time/ carpet time. Ds told the teacher who told me in the doorway. Generally my ds is shy but i encourage him to always approach a teacher etc,
The teacher said shell write a report... dunno what that means exactly but my ds was abit sore once we got home, he says its the 1st time this has happened.

Surely this isnt normal for 5 yr old boys? Im unsure wat to do but im really upset over this, i dont want to set a precedance for this kind of behaviour to be ok, also the first thing i thought is were has this child learned this from.

Any advice would be appreciated thanks as im going out of my mind abit

How did this happen? Through your son's trousers?

Yes through his trousers, the child grabbed him down there and pinched him

This exactly happened to my son recently but in year 2. I contacted both the child's parents (who I knew through parties etc) and the school. Luckily it hasn't happened since but feel the school were on it straight away and am grateful for that.
Make sure your child knows it isn't acceptable and to tell teacher and you as soon as possible if it happens again.

The teacher will write a safeguarding report and notify the school's safeguarding lead. This incident on its own doesn't mean anything, but it may be an indicator that the child who pinched your son is being abused. As the previous poster says, you need to make sure your son knows this isn't acceptable and that he must tell his teacher and you if it happens again.

There was a similar incident when DD was in lower Primary school years but it was boy/girl, school took it very seriously and we had a meeting with the safeguarding lead. Turned out that the child was being brought up by his grandmother as parents were drug addicts and he may have been exposed to something. I had a very unpleasant encounter with the mother, completely unrelated while shopping nearby shortly after. She was banned from school premises.
Dd was put into a different class and stayed separated from the child throughout (Year 6 leaving now).

If the teacher knows and is dealing with it appropriately there’s nothing else you can do apart from ensure that DS knows to report it if anything like this happens again.

>Surely this isnt normal for 5 yr old boys?

The question is wrong. It is socially unacceptable and that is why the child should be punished and before explained why it is wrong thing to do.

In Y5 it is more common than you think. children are close to puberty but still don't understand social rules. So it happens. It doesn't mean the boy who have done it " is not normal". It is with the range but definitely he should be immediately instructed on why is it wrong, he should also apologise.

Five years old, not y5

It happened to Alyn Wynn Jones on the rugby field - I think it might have been Joe Mahler who pinched him. Anyway, whoever it was was suspended from rugby for several weeks.

I bet Joe Mahler used to do it in the playground too. Nip it in the bud now, and report it.

>Five years old, not y5

Ah sorry. In that case the question if it is normal
...is not normal

🤣

Mother of two boys and when they were very young - I am talking c. 3 years old there was the odd grabbing/exposing - which I understand is developmentally typical.

It hopefully is a one off and a misjudged action - and at 5 I would say there is still possibly the learning about appropriate behaviour. To support your son perhaps the school could reiterate the "underpants rule". I hope your son is okay.

As a one off, I wouldn't be worried. Small children don't always think before they act and it was probably meant no differently to pinching his arm or leg. Obviously pinching is wrong, but if the teacher is aware and the child that did it is normally well behaved, I wouldn't push it further. Pinching and pushing is normal behaviour for 5 year olds, but they have the capacity to learn it is wrong.
The school will know if the pincher has history that may influence his behaviour that you do not know about.

It's more likely that there is a safeguarding issue here. It would not normally occur to a 5 year old to do this unless something like this is also happening to him at home. It needs to be investigated and I disagree that the boy needs to be 'punished' - at 5 years old, this is almost definitely coming from messages that the child is recieving and it is very concerning. Punishing him on top of whatever might be happening to him at home would be awful.

OP, report it to the school and highlight that it is a safeguarding concern and you are worried about the boy who did it. Also, of course, talk to your son and he needs to tell an adult straight away if it happens again.

Sexualised behaviour. The safeguarding lead needs to report this. I would be ringing the school and making sure they have done that. Primary schools can be a bit lax in this area of safeguarding.

I think you have handled it perfectly. Your son knew it was wrong and knew what to do.

the teacher will make a safeguarding report and take it from there as deemed appropriate.

I think you and the teacher have handled it very well so far. I would also make sure to praise your son for doing the right thing and telling the teacher immediately. Not an easy thing for him to do especially if he's shy.

Based on what?

As a one off it could be within the realms of normal behaviour and the child may not see it as different to pinching anywhere else. Your son was right to report it though as it could be part of a bigger picture. When there was a similar incident in my daughter's class they did some lessons on the pants rule ( don't know if the boy was also spoken to separately).

Sexualised behaviour among 5years olds? Seriously, at that age they don't know if they pinch arm or leg or...

I reckon people also believe in sexualised behaviour of 4 and 2 years olds ( facepalm)

And no, schools are taking those things very seriously. Often too seriously. I observed that far more seriously than violence