Boy- heavy year group

[mummy1800]

I would love to have some opinions to help me make a decision about my daughter’s school. Her class has 5 girls and 11 boys, across the whole year group it’s 13 girls and 35 boys. My daughter says that the boys are often quite noisy in the classroom and she has said on a few occasions that the boys are unkind to her. I wonder if she would be better socially and academically in an all- girls’ school. There is a place available for her in another school where she would be one of 15 girls in the class (and the whole year group). Her main group of friends is one girl and three boys but I wonder how much longer the boys will be playing with the girls. She’ll be going into Y2 in September and I’m really torn between taking up the place in the girls’ school and staying with her current school and seeing how things go. Any opinions will be very welcome!

I would be looking to move her that's a very skewed ratio. Although I'm also weirdly curious that this school has 3 classes of 16 kids, is it a private school because I sure as heck wouldn't be paying for her to attend a school with such a small amount of same sex peers.

Thank you for your quick reply. Yes it’s a private school and we were assured that more girls would be joining when she started there but that hasn’t happened. She says she doesn’t want to move but I think that might just be fear of being ‘the new girl’. When we have tried play dates with the boys they won’t even go in her ‘girly room’ or play with her toys, so it would be lovely for to have more girls to mix with.

I once taught a class of 5 girls and 12 boys (mainstream as well which is very unusual!). They were key stage two so older but the boys and girls didn’t mix much and the girls had a lot of issues because they kept falling out and there were no others they could hang round with. I think skewed numbers like that can definitely be tricky

I would move her without question.

In light of the fact you're paying for her to be in this situation I would absolutely move her. Yes she probably doesn't want to move but equally as the children get older the likelihood is some of the parents of the girls will move and that will just make the situation that much harder. Bite the bullet and move her asap if there is space, she will thank you for it.

My dc is in a very girl heavy class - 10 boys and 20 girls. The boys just go play football all together every break. I imagine that must be tough on the boys who don't actually like football, but maybe don't feel like there's any other option.

She's still so young, only Y1, that I think you have time to sit on this. If its a specific couple of boys being mean, raise it with the teacher.

Yes she’s still very young but I worry that as they get older, the boys will play with the girls even less and then she’ll have an even smaller group of friends to play with. Some of the girls are very close friends and don’t play with the others (including my daughter) anyway. On the other hand the other school seems a bit more academic and I don’t want her to feel pressured in that way. One of the mums there said the girls are competitive with their test scores and reading levels but that might just be her opinion!

Iid absolutely move her.

I work in a very boy-heavy secondary school, so a lot older than your dcs class, and I see the behaviour issues that come with that. I do believe we would have a lot less problems with behaviour if there were more girls, and for that reason it’s a shame you want to pull your dd out, and all girls schools can be just as difficult. girls are far better behaved in lessons, but friendship problems can make things difficult (I’ve lost count the number of times I have to alter a seating plan because two girls can no longer sit next to each other!).

plus as someone who went to an all girls school, and was raised with just a sister and only female cousins, I will say when I left and entered the workplace, I found it very difficult interacting with males because I wasn’t used to it, so something a bare in mind

but as you are paying, I would pick the best education and that will probably come from moving her.

My DD is in Y2, same class since reception, 18 boys and 11 girls, the other Y2 class is more equal, I'm always surprised they've never mixed them up to even them out!
The girls in DD class are all lovely, but CONSTANTLY falling out recently... I think/hope it's just a 7 year old girl thing! :P

DD also plays with a lot of the boys though and it's not really been an issue thus far!

DD's class (currently Y4) has about 12 girls and 18 boys (they mixed the classes this year but I think it's still roughly the same). A few pupils have left over the last few years and they've always been replaced by boys, so the number of girls has reduced since they started. (DS is in reception and I think his class is slightly more even, we'll see if it stays that way.)

She says 99% of the disruptions are caused by the boys, they're always the naughty ones, etc. It doesn't really affect her too badly in general but it has a couple of times. One positive is that the girls have all sort of banded together and are very close friends as a result, although I appreciate that's just down to luck/personality.

Personally I'd only move her if she was unhappy or if the other school was a lot better, but I do understand why you'd do it.

Quite apart from anything else, if she stays there for any length of time, throughout junior years, senior years, and there aren't any more girls that join - what happens if she turns out to be sporty? No team match sport for her year group of girls presumably. I wouldn't (and didn't) worry so much if it was state school with plenty of time outside of school for sporting activities, but I'd not expect to have to do that at private tbh.

Does she have any brothers or male friends that are seen on a regular basis other than at school? The thought of my daughter solely in the company of girls would be a no from me especially from such a young age. I can’t see how it would benefit her not socialising or in the company of boys.

Thank you so much for your replies. She has a brother who is close in age - they spend all their spare time together and she’ll still see his friends. Another thing to factor into our decision- separate schools! There aren’t enough girls for a team at the moment and so they always play in teams with boys- I’m a bit worried about safety as they get older. I think we’re definitely moving towards the idea of moving her! The other mums of the girls will be a bit upset about it but we need to do what’s right for our daughter- she’s not very happy there.

DD (year 4) is in a class of 30 and there are 22 boys & 8 girls. It's never been an issue.

It’s just that five seems such a small number of girls and I know that one other mum will definitely be moving her daughter at the end of the year. At sports day my daughter will be the only girl running against six boys in a race!

The fact is if you wait for it to be a huge problem for her then you miss this window of opportunity and she misses out on a great school. She has a brother it's not like you're isolating her from boys altogether but this cohort is untenable and it's inevitable it will become more of an issue especially as she gets older and friendship issues arise and they begin to feel suffocated by being in such a small group.

My daughter was one of 11 girls in a class of 30. The boys were a stable and problematic influence in my opinion. She has brothers so is more than happy being friends with boys. In the real world you will work in environments where they are female or male dominated.
They need to get used to everything not being perfect. Life isnt that way.
Btw the most disruptive bully in my sons class who dominates lessons is a girl.

Not really its 5 in an incredibly small class. In the real world that would be 10 or 12 and it happens elsewhere. Send her to a school with bigger classes then.

The boys in her class definitely aren’t bullies- all the children are lovely. She’s just quite unhappy at not having more girls to play with- the boys generally aren’t interested in the same things as she is.

I'd move her personally as it's low, you know is moving anyway and it could quickly become like dominoes of any other girls move on.

One of the boy-heavy mixed schools near us ended up with similar numbers so had one boy-only class and two mixed classes but more even. Not sure how popular that was though for parents of boys in the single sex class.

Oh tricky. 5 girls in a class is not enough, it affects friendship dynamics and leaves things open to “queen bee” type situations.

You may find an influx of new kids at y3 (the “ state till 8 “ lot) but there’s no guarantees it will be girls.

I think the school should have addressed this by splitting the girls across two classes only and having one all boys class. Or even putting all the girls together. Do the classes get mixed up next year? Could you suggest this?

If the school isn’t proactively doing things to address the problem then I’m afraid I would take her out yes.

Contrary to a pp I went all girls all the way through school and have a sister… I have had no problems interacting with males! First week of university sorted out any unfamiliarity…

My DS1 was in a primary school class with 22 boys and 8 girls. It was a really lovely class.

Yes even 8 girls would be an improvement. She’s one of 5 girls in her class and one will definitely be leaving at the end of the year!