Different School for each child

[colouroftherainbow]

Children are 2 school years apart. Due to low birth rate year DC2 has been offered a place at our first choice school which DC1 did not get. We accepted and were thinking we move DC1 if/when there is a vacancy (school is oversubscribed so no idea when this would happen whereas DC1 school is undersubscribed so could get DC2 into there straight away).

However I am struggling to come to terms with the prospect of children being at different schools - not for practicality purposes but for them. Seeing each other in lunch hall and playground, knowing each others friends etc.

Honestly, am I being silly or is it something I need to consider?

I wouldn't worry about that so much as the school runs! How are you practically going to manage?

Seeing each other in lunch hall and playground, knowing each others friends etc.

Even if they attended the same school there's a good chance that they wouldn't see each other at lunchtime or in the playground, as many schools stagger the timings or have different zones for year groups to play.

My DC went to separate schools. They don’t have much to do with each other now (17 and 14) and I do wonder if a shared experience at school would have made a difference.

if you put your older one on the waiting list now, you might be lucky. Can you ring and ask how long the list is?

@Rollinghill school runs are fortunately staggered so while it will be a pain, it’s possible. We felt it was worth trying because we can always move them to DC1 school but unlikely they would get a place here in future.

Thanks @Whinge that makes me feel a little better. I guess to some extent it’s also the shared experience, knowing same people, school events etc

@NancyJoan Im waiting for them to confirm how long list is and can only hope for that to happen but they are so close right now and really love each other

While my kids seemed to like it initially that they saw each other at school they soon stopped, and basically they were in their own little year groups anyway.
If the logistics work out keep them separate, though I'd hate that personally. Keeping up with one's school schedules and emails was hard enough let alone two separate ones.

Remember once your DC2 is at the school your DC1 might have a higher priority for a place if they prioritise siblings. Mine benefited from being in the same school but mainly because of the large age gaps (kindy, Y4, Y9 when the youngest started) which meant they had shared experiences including travel to and from school by bus which they wouldn’t have had otherwise. I think yours being close in age makes it less of an issue.

@Flatandhappy this is why we accepted the place. Sibling is top of the admissions criteria (after looked after, adopted) so if a space were to come up, it would likely go to DC (although waiting for confirmation of how many are on the list).

@mondaytosunday I'll be honest, I am dreading the dual schedules too but it is possible so we thought we take the risk and see if DC1 gets in. I am second guessing myself and wondering if detrimental to miss out on those early experiences of first day at school together etc

Naturally, there will come a point when we decide it is too late to move them (likely Y5/6) but I am really hoping something would come before then as currently Y1 going into 2.

Yeah I wouldn't worry about the stuff you mentioned, it's the practical side that is a pain in the arse. I had to do it for 1.5 terms and whilst it was technically doable, it was a pain in the arse, hardest part is keeping on top of non stop primary school events!

@ksjsb my ideal is that DC1 gets a place within the first year so I am not doing it too long but there are no guarantees when it will happen. The school is oversubscribed and full in every class at the moment so literally a case of one out one in.

Head said to me there is some movement but it is unpredictable so I've interpreted this as plan for the worst and hope for the best

My two are at the same school but different ages are split on different sites. It's an absolute pain in the ass as different leadership teams, inset days, admin systems. I hate it- and that's 'the same school'. No way could I handle two separate schools and all the extra stuff that entails. It'd be a disaster.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m crazy trying this out now!

My reasoning was that I’ve managed two in different settings to date (DC2 nursery is like a school in terms of being invited to assemblies, sports days, parent meetings, trips etc) so it should be possible to continue juggling for a bit longer. But maybe I have my head in the clouds?!

I wouldn’t remotely worry about them, I’d worry about practicalities for you! There are hoardes of siblings in DD’s school (Catholic school) who appear to ditch each other at the gates and not interact at all during the day.

You could try appealing when elder child is in Yr3 after the class size restriction stops... but whether or not you have a good case is a How Long is a Piece of String question.

I had 3 siblings and all 4 of us were in primary school at the same time. At one point, all in the juniors together so we would see each other at lunch. Didn't make us any closer and we'd actively avoid each other. Secondary school was much more bonding to do together as we would complain about certain teachers etc.

I hope this isn’t too much of a downer but we had this exact scenario last year and we are still in it 😫 still second on waiting list (although for year 3). The drop off times are exactly the same so I need someone to help me every single day, it’s a bit of a nightmare and no indication of anybody moving on. I hope you have better luck than us!!

Thank you all.

@BelindaBears i am debating whether I have my head in the clouds with practicalities but I’m fortunate that unlike @Magssss, pick up and drop offs are staggered (except if both do after school activity same day) so that aspect is possible

@PuttingDownRoots im not sure what grounds I’d have to appeal tbh, DC1 does have a school and is going well so I’m not sure they would accept me pulling them out as a reason to extend the class size.

Thanks @Foxesandsquirrels, gives me some reassurance

Maybe try it for a year op, and see how it goes? Hope that dc1 gets offered a place within that first year, and if not, and two seperate schools becomes too much of a hassle, could you move dc2 into dc1's school, as you said it's undersubscribed so probably an option?

Thanks @DiaNaranja thats what we have been leaning towards doing. Chances of being able to move in that direction are very high should the need arise

How many form entry is DC2’s school? I’d be asking the school what number place DC1 will be on the waiting list once DC2 enrols and also how many places have come available in each year group for the past 3 years to give yourself an idea of the turnover.

Several LA areas have infants and middle schools. Plenty of schools are split site. Near is an LA where catchment trumps sibling so plenty aren't at same school.
I wouldn't worry unduly.
It's a bit of a pain but nothing more

Can you re- check if in the admission policy is that if a child has a sibling in the school is treated as a priority order?

Sorry I did not see the responses.

@iwasthewalrus School is 2 form entry so not tiny but also not large. Movement is variable as highly sought after so it is not common for many to move. Am waiting for exact figures from council (which is taking ages - have made multiple phone calls and submitted same query 3 times now)

@weareallout my initial thoughts were annoying but doable but I have to admit, I have been second guessing myself since reading responses

@RedFluffyPanda child with sibling is priority after looked after, EHCP etc. BUT it is in distance order and given catchment doesn't usually go as far as our house, I expect DC1 will be below any other siblings on the list (if there are).

@colouroftherainbow ah I see what you mean. But if that is the case nobody who doesn't have sibling would not get in at all as they accept all kids who have a sibling at school and are in the catchment and only then move to those who don't have a sibling and are in the catchment. If you are in the catchment you have good chance to get in. Stay positive and Good Luck

@RedFluffyPanda that is exactly how it is and most years, 50-70% of reception places go to a sibling leaving just a few for those who are living near the school. This year is an anomaly with fewer applicants and fewer siblings and that is the only reason we got a place. Had DC1 got a place, we would have taken it without a second thought but we live that tiny bit further
Thank you, fingers crossed!

My 3 children have always gone to different schools (I did have 4 years where the boys were at the same one). It's common here as a lot of the schools are single sex.

No issues at all, apart from the occasional time where I had to be in two places at once