Pros / Cons Single Sex vs Co-ed

[mommytobe2020]

I never considered sending my DS to a single sex school until I moved to North London and realised the reality of the options here. He’s currently very happy at a coed nursery school. Anyone with firsthand experience at either school type that can share the pros/cons of each? Trying to weigh our options and make the best choice for our son. Thanks!

(I'm based in North London too! Islington/Highbury area. I went to a girl's school and I had a good experience. Just to give insight I was a typical popular girl, did sports, choir all the other clubs, confident, loud , liked by all teachers etc. From having spoken to other people's experiences of how schools were for them whether mixed gender or not it's all relatively the same in terms of pro's and con's in any school. The best thing to do is to pick a school that would give him the best opportunity to have a great education. If you don't mind sharing roughly where in North London I could give you a few recommendations based on people's experiences etc as going with just Ofsted reports and statistics doesn't mean your child would have a relatively good enjoyable life at school. Whether it's mixed or not, school is the same really in the general aspects based on my experience and other's I have spoken to. I would say there's no need to consider putting your child into a single sex school until secondary it's important boy's learn early interactions and basics with girls at an early age! Also I'm 24 if that helps, so I started secondary school in 2010 and finished in 2015 so wasn't long ago I was a pupil haha. I went to a school that had much better opportunities than the surrounding schools, Michelle Obama visited more than once, Alexandra Burke was a former pupil and my choir teacher used to teach her, we had so many cool trips available, entered so many competitions from athletics etc, theatre trips, Helena Bonham came to work with our choir and we performed for the soundtrack used for her charity which was to help poor children in South Africa and lucky 10 pupils were chosen to travel there and help the local community for 2 weeks, trips to America etc we had so much available. My friends now are performers in the West End such as Book of Mormon, Dirty Dancing, Mama Mia, teachers, nurses etc we all did extremely well. I know I went well into the future haha with my post in general but it's something worth thinking about. Most of us who ended up in single sex schools all went to mixed schools up until secondary. My youngest sister started secondary school a year ago, she chose the school she wanted to go to. Myself, older sister and the one after me both went to girls schools and the rest after me went to mixed schools and with sharing our experiences in schools through conversation etc there wasn't much different. It's just all depending on the environment offered at the chosen school.

I think the thinking is single sex benefits girls, whereas co-Ed benefits boys.

I was going to say I don't think single sex is an awful thing but then I noticed we're on the primary education board.
I think it's a bit odd for a small child to spend all its time in in a single sex environment, but not such a bad thing for an 11-16 (but do move for 6th form).

@WesterosGreen is right. Single sex schools are better for girls, co-ed tends to be better for boys (academically, behaviourally and socially). It’s one of the reasons so many private previously single sex boys’ schools started accepting girls at sixth form and some went fully co-ed.

I would visit . State education in co ed definitely works more in the favour of girls .

it was never an option where I live . I would be really interested if they gear the boys to the way boys learn if not I would look at co ed

Thanks so much for all of your responses so far! We are foreigners, so completely new to this process! We are living in the Marylebone / St. John's wood area. We are considering private as we are not in a great catchment area for state schools.
Yes, I am talking about primary school. It's hard to imagine my DS with only boys beginning at 4 years old, but these single sex schools seem like the top rated schools in our area... or at least by reputation. Just want to do what's best for him and give him the best opportunity to start.
Thanks for your feedback!

@mommytobe2020 I would err on the side of caution when it comes to judging schools based on reputation alone. Some of them are extremely academic (hence the reputation) and not the right place for some children.

I would look at what’s important to you and your son. Is he outdoorsy, in which case breaks on a single paved playground might not work for him. Do they offer swimming, either on site or using facilities elsewhere? What different types of instrument can he learn? Some schools have very limited options, others have a huge array. Do they have a specialist art room or science lab?

If you are planning on staying in the U.K. then have a look at what schools pupils go onto next. Are they aligned with your broader thinking?

I personally think boys do better in a coed environment, particularly if they aren’t alpha male types. I also like schools that send children to a wide range of next schools and aren’t seen as “feeders” as a) the feeling of failure if you don’t get into the same schools as most of your peers would be awful and b) I feel the needs of the individual child are being focussed on as opposed to just being another statistic.

I do also think that your gut reaction when you visit these schools is probably the most important thing. Many a parent has been swept away with the prestige of a place at a certain school but then find out their values are not aligned.