Local school or religious school

[Lilyoverthevalley]

Hi all,

Please be kind as I promise I'm not trying to be snobby I'm just worried and wanting the best for my child, which I'm sure you can all relate to!

So the local school (literally end of the road) is Ofsted good and I've checked the report and it's good in all areas, so you'd think great just send DD there. But... it's got higher than the UK average stats for absences, long term absences, exclusions, and (here comes the part where I might get flamed) also far higher than average for disadvantaged pupils, free school meal pupils (and SEN but obviously not bothered about that). Am I being awful and snobby to care about this? Does it make a difference, does it matter? We live in a very nice area which is next to a not so nice area and it seems like most of the families are sending their kids private.

We could just about stretch to private but it would be tough.

The other option is a religious school five minutes drive away but I'd have to pretend to be more religious than I am and take DD to church twice a month until the application closing date. It's a lovely school where the Ofsted report particularly praised behaviour. But would I curse myself every day when I'm stuck in traffic for not using the school a two minutes walk away? And imagine if there's a year where there just happens to be an incredible number of siblings and DD doesn't get in despite all those hours in church, I'd be so bitter!

Thanks for any advice! I really hope I'm not going to be judged too harshly! I do realise I sound very much like Julia from Motherland...

Please don't pretend to be religious. You're just teaching your children to lie.

Can I just clarify, I am of the religion that the school is. I went to this type of school etc. No I'm not a regular church goer, not regular enough to satisfy the entrance requirements anyway, but it's not an outright lie. An exaggeration maybe. I wouldn't stop attending church if DD got into the school, that would be unfair and a bad lesson to DD.

It wouldn't be a lie.
You don't have to believe.
You have to attend church.

That said. How religious is the school? Would you have any issue with them bringing their religious values into the school day?

Try popping over to the local school at start/end of the day to get a feel of it. If they have a summer fair you could go to that too.

Thanks that's a great idea about the summer fair, I'll definitely do that!

I could also pop over at the end of the day. I've seen the start of the day at the local school and there is a lot of scruffiness (maybe I should say apparent lack of adherence to the school dress code) and lateness.

No issue whatsoever with religion as part of the school, as I said in my clarification post I am of this religion and I went to a church school.

I would look at both schools and see what feelings you get from both. I would go with your gut feeling.
is your DD baptised? The number of religious applications have dropped dramatically in the last couple of years. Also the lowest birth rates now, so you probably would get your DD in just by being that religion regardless of practise.

Am I allowed to go and look at schools if DD wouldn't be going for two years? I wouldn't be looked at like I'm a weirdo?

Baptism isn't part of the entrance requirements, just church attendance.

Odd that you're not bothered about the higher than average sen since that is what would potentially account for more class disruption, more time lost in lessons, more stressed teachers having to plan for twelve different sen per class etc. The free school meals aspect is much less related to behaviour.

That's a good point, I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks.

SEN will cause more pressure in budgets and behaviour than anything else tbh. High exclusion rates will mean the school actually does something. Not all bad things. However, I'd take the religious school.

Lol, no it's not creepy at all. I think you're doing it at the right time. I wish I did. If you think about it, you're applying for a school nearly a year in advance for normal admissions as the applications normally open in the September for reception the following year. Its an important decision. I've known people to move into areas for schools when their children are babies just for the right school.

it's got higher than the UK average stats for absences, long term absences, exclusions, and (here comes the part where I might get flamed) also far higher than average for disadvantaged pupils, free school meal pupils (and SEN

• and it still gets a ' good' rating from OFSTED.

They must be doing something right.

When dc1 was starting school, the best-rated school in our area, with consistently high OFSTEDs and extremely popular with the parents, was the one that, on paper, should have been the worst. Among all the local schools, it had the highest proportion of transient children (only 40% of FS starters were still there in Y6) and the lowest proportion of first language = English children (also only 40% - and not the same 40%). It had a far higher proportion of FSM as well.

But it was a lovely school. When I visited it was clear that the children were cared for, and were challenged and supported to achieve well.

Don't discount a school because it looks 'wrong' on paper. Go and visit, talk to staff, talk to parents. Get a feel for the school.

Our original first choice of school for dc1 sounded awesome on paper. It took one visit for dh and me to discount it. It was cold and pushy.

What is your concern:

• quality of education, will they teach well and stretch enough
• potential disruption to learning in class due to behaviour
• your DC making friends with children with different values / upbringings
• your DC struggling to make friends as he is too different
• you struggling to make friends as you are too different

If you can identify your concerns to yourself (doesn't have to be on here) it might make your decision easier.

Thanks all, some really helpful comments that have given me some good ideas and a lot to think about.

I also really appreciate everyone understanding where I'm coming from and not immediately thinking the worst of me.