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Original poster

When is best to move from state to private?

42 replies

Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 17:52

just that really. If we want to move our son (now in year one) to a private school for secondary, when would be best to do it?
if this is relevant, he doesn’t seem to be particularly academic so far, is struggling a bit but is progressing. He’s happy with friends but says school is boring. He may have attention issues and is being referred for adhd but it’s a long wait for assessment. His school is OK, not amazing, but we love the community & parents & are involved in the PTA etc & are keen to stay in the school for as long as possible, but if we do eventually want to go private (not 100 per cent sure about this yet), is it too late and too much pressure to do it at 11?

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1dayatatime · 29/05/2023 18:00

It all depends on whether a) you want to send him private or you think it's for the best and b) whether and what you can afford:

The main age entry points are

  1. reception- where money is no object
  2. year 3 - "state till 8"
  3. year 7 - plenty of children go to state primaries first
  4. Sixth Form
Pottyhelp · 29/05/2023 18:06

Why not get him assessed privately?

Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:07

Thank you. We are undecided and we do like (but not love) where he is, but I want to think now about how to do it if we do.
if Year 7 does that mean sitting eleven plus exams?

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Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:08

Pottyhelp · 29/05/2023 18:06

Why not get him assessed privately?

Because he is 6 and I’ve been told he shouldn’t be assessed till 7. And because I worry that private assessment seems to have higher rates of diagnosis.

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chelseabunny · 29/05/2023 18:13

Whereabouts are you? What are the waiting lists like at 11?

chelseabunny · 29/05/2023 18:14

Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:07

Thank you. We are undecided and we do like (but not love) where he is, but I want to think now about how to do it if we do.
if Year 7 does that mean sitting eleven plus exams?

Depends on the school.

MetaDaughter · 29/05/2023 18:16

When he’s shown you who he is and what he needs to thrive and progress.

Maybe that might mean he needs a change of school, maybe it won’t. The fact that he finds school boring might suggest he needs more challenge and stretching than his current school can offer. Or it might mean he’s struggling to access curricular / extra curricular offerings and needs more focused help within the same school.

Can’t really help with the specifics as we were outside London.

Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:34

Thanks @chelseabunny and @MetaDaughter. We are in London but I don’t know about waiting lists. I’ll do some research.

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Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:35

MetaDaughter · 29/05/2023 18:16

When he’s shown you who he is and what he needs to thrive and progress.

Maybe that might mean he needs a change of school, maybe it won’t. The fact that he finds school boring might suggest he needs more challenge and stretching than his current school can offer. Or it might mean he’s struggling to access curricular / extra curricular offerings and needs more focused help within the same school.

Can’t really help with the specifics as we were outside London.

I think he needs more support rather than needing stretching but he’s only six so it could all change.

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Sb123455 · 29/05/2023 18:41

You should be ok privately as long as they follow NICE guidelines. I’m a clinical psychologist so can ask around if it’s helpful for those who can help if you PM your area etc.
re when - so hard! As you can move before 11 to a through school to 18 and be done with the exams at 10/11 but would assume you continue to meet the grade. I’d be more thinking what the best place is for your son - where’s around and go look around, keep your eyes and ears open that provides as close as you want to what he needs and likes. If he’s struggling academically then 7/11+ may not be ideal, but I guess it also depends the impact of any additional needs etc.

TheSnowyOwl · 29/05/2023 18:43

If you can afford it, the sooner the better. Don’t underestimate how much getting the foundations right at the very start of education can make every other stage in school easier.

Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:52

Sb123455 · 29/05/2023 18:41

You should be ok privately as long as they follow NICE guidelines. I’m a clinical psychologist so can ask around if it’s helpful for those who can help if you PM your area etc.
re when - so hard! As you can move before 11 to a through school to 18 and be done with the exams at 10/11 but would assume you continue to meet the grade. I’d be more thinking what the best place is for your son - where’s around and go look around, keep your eyes and ears open that provides as close as you want to what he needs and likes. If he’s struggling academically then 7/11+ may not be ideal, but I guess it also depends the impact of any additional needs etc.

Thanks. Do you think it’s possible to move between 7 and 11?

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Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 18:54

TheSnowyOwl · 29/05/2023 18:43

If you can afford it, the sooner the better. Don’t underestimate how much getting the foundations right at the very start of education can make every other stage in school easier.

I do see this point but we chose to send him to a local school because he’d had a tough time in the lockdowns and is an only child and we wanted him to go where his nursery friends were & to have continuity and lots of friends within walking distance. So we are anxious about disrupting that. And as an only child too, we feel having good close long term friends is really important although obviously education is crucial too.

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floofyhouse · 29/05/2023 19:00

We moved our DC with mild SEN from state to private in year 5. This was to a prep school that offered a “middle school” type environment from years 5 -8. It was great. Lots of parents in our area move their kids midway through primary - end of KS1 / start of yr 3 seems to be a popular break point. Otherwise yr 7. Good luck!

Livinghappy · 29/05/2023 19:05

Really depends on the private schools local to you. Some children don't show academic potential at 6 but can change later on. I would choose a supportive school with provisions for SEN and more able children.
Start researching schools and understand the various entry criteria - some will be highly competitive so starting at 8 would be advangeous, others will have places at 11.

Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 29/05/2023 20:07

Thanks so much everyone. Really helpful. I am quite clueless because my friends are either doing private all the way or state all the way so I have no one to ask about doing both. Looks like I should look at some schools and see how that changes my feelings about it.

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follygirl · 29/05/2023 21:06

My son is currently lower sixth and has been in private education since Reception.
His prep school wasn't the right fit for him and even when he left the school at the end of Year 6, the school has very low expectations of him academically.
We moved him to a nurturing secondary school and he completely blossomed. I still remember his first parents evening when I was told that he was clever and I even asked them to confirm that they were talking about my son. He smashed his GCSEs and is currently regarded as a 'scholar' at his school.
The reason I'm saying all this is that you said that your Year 1 son wasn't presenting as academic at the moment. It can change. Of course it doesn't matter if he isn't academic. He might be have talents elsewhere.
If you feel he is at the right school for him then I would be tempted to leave him and move him to private at Year 6. It really depends what the state and private schools are like where you live. Sending my son to his prep school was a mistake as it wasn't right for him at all. He would have been much better at the local state school.

HawaiiWake · 29/05/2023 21:07

For boys in London, there is 7+,very few 8+,a few forms at 10+,11+,13+, sixth form.

Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 30/05/2023 06:22

Thanks @follygirl, really interesting to hear about your son and it’s great to hear he’s having a much better time at secondary. I am not sure if the school is right for my son but it is right in terms of stability, friendships, community, closeness etc which is also v important I think. Waiting to see how things go when he starts year 2 I think. But it’s great to hear stories of things changing and I absolutely don’t want to decide now that he is or isn’t academic. Bit worried now my original post looks like I did feel that.

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follygirl · 30/05/2023 07:52

@Jetvsdragon
You came across as a Mum wanting to do the best for her son.
My advice would be to look around at the different schools both state and private and see what you're working with.
If he is happy where he is then I'd leave him. As I said before there are some rubbish private schools and in hindsight I wish we hadn't sent my son to his prep school which was completely wrong for him.
Don't be swayed by glossy brochures but go with your gut instinct and choose what is best for your son.

thespy · 30/05/2023 08:05

I would sign up for open days at any of the private schools you are considering and take your time. Y7 entry is the logical transition from state primary but you can usually find a place at any time if schools aren't completely oversubscribed - people move mid year etc.

Alternatively move into Y4 at a Prep that goes until Y8 and then go for a Y9 entry (13+) to senior schools - the head will usually offer help with choosing senior school. Most schools are asking for a Y6 assessment for entry at 13+ around these parts. But not all. I would hesitate to move a child who is thriving but it never hurts to fully understand what options are available should that change.

redrobin75 · 30/05/2023 08:05

@Jetvsdragon , starting looking at prep schools from Sept and start the assessment process for your ds. The good news is that the prep school sector in London is suffering from drop in birth rate / move out of London so you have more choice that you imagine and dc move in and out of schools all the time. It's important your ds has the right support and can flourish in his primary years ready for the challenge of the move to secondary.

Original poster
Jetvsdragon · 30/05/2023 08:40

redrobin75 · 30/05/2023 08:05

@Jetvsdragon , starting looking at prep schools from Sept and start the assessment process for your ds. The good news is that the prep school sector in London is suffering from drop in birth rate / move out of London so you have more choice that you imagine and dc move in and out of schools all the time. It's important your ds has the right support and can flourish in his primary years ready for the challenge of the move to secondary.

I’ve been told he can’t be assessed till he’s 7 & possibly later as he was premature. Is that not right?

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cingolimama · 30/05/2023 09:04

I would echo pp who said as soon as possible. Smaller classrooms, far less disruption and more individual attention will mean that your child won't be bored, and will have a real chance to learn and thrive.

DD went state all through primary and secondary, but I would have put her in private in a heartbeat if I could have afforded it. Sadly, state education has been underfunded for years, teachers are knackered, and even in the best state schools, there are a lot of behavioural issues that suck the energy out of a classroom.

DD managed to do very well, but I constantly had to spend time and money "filling in the gaps" where school didn't effectively teach.

Good luck, OP.

mycoffeecup · 02/06/2023 07:43

where in London? NW London is a bit crazy for private schools, other areas not so bad