Completely unresponsive...what now?

[MsPrue]

Hi all.

In a tough spot and need some advice.

DD is having a tough time. School have seen her upset lately in morning when I bring her. Issue is with ex, long story short, DV, post-separation abuse, a nasty smear campaign, pressured DD and now she's saying no go on contact. Ex is dragging it back to court. Tried contacting school to update as advised and ask for support. I've reached out 4x and zero response to my emails and no calls back.

They've a history of being dismissive and unsupportive. Principal was s**t when I was reporting ex was harassing me including at the school gates and I was worried as there'd been DV, said he didn't think anything would happen 🤯🙄 Don't think they believe me and think I'm stirring the pot. They've been no help at all

Wits end now. Originally asked DD's teacher back in Feb for chat because I was worried about her but nothing and now this. No clue how to handle and worried school will outright lie and label as petty parental fights for second time to CCO. Think they'd lie about DD being upset. DD really just needs support and I need to talk about her progress, her schoolwork is suffering because she's so tired from losing sleep because she's scared.

Any advice would be great. Thanks 🙏

Wow they sound shirt. Sorry you’re going through that. Do you have any legal support or someone who is advising you? I would contact the LA regarding the lack of response from school and I’d make some serious complaints. I’d also consider moving schools… is that an option??x

Call, don't email. Ask to speak to safeguarding lead (probably the head) or class teacher.
Sounds like whichever email address you use isn't being checked regularly.

If you do call, follow it up with an email.

Ps, they really do sound rubbish and I hope the6 start to pick this up.

I work on the legal side of safeguarding in schools. I would put contact in writing and start a complaint. As part of this they should nominate an investigating officer, whose job includes checking that every incident has been recorded appropriately and support there for your daughter.

You may have to follow this through several stages (they have to signpost you to the next stage each time) but you get to say what 'resolution' you want - ie. appropriate support, and they have to explain and amend if you are not getting that. In the meantime you have been able to put your side on record, and shouldn't feel so vulnerable.

BTW They cannot not believe you! It's not their place to believe or not believe. Any school has to be alive to DV and act on the information they are given. It's shocking you feel doubted on this.

@babyproblems I do have legal support. I'm waiting on a reply from them about this. Ex wouldn't let DD move school just to control things, don't think it'd be good for her either, she's settled with friends and really struggles with change. Would in a heartbeat if I could.

@Nicknamesforviolet , I know the safeguarding teachers, principal and vice principal and a p7 teacher but I CC them all into my emails with class teacher and no one replies. The principal has a bad track record with DV, spoke to other mums in the past in similar situations, he treated them the same as me, like they were overreacting and lying. @Explainitplease yes I've been emailing now instead to show that I'm trying and they arent answering, building up the paper trail!

@JennyForeigner thank you for that, so helpful. If that's how its supposed to be I don't think they've ever followed procedure, they always say they wont get involved and have to be neutral but when I'm trying to say DD has been to GP and has panic attacks how can they ignore that?

DD had a panic attack at school again, she's scared ex will come for her at school and they'll not listen when she says she doesn't want to go. She asked a friend for help instead of a teacher, heartbreaking 😥

Are you calling or just emailing? How do you know you have the right email addresses?

Asked her class teacher for a call back first time in late February, called reception twice about it when heard nothing and still no call. Emailed end of March, no reply, called and emailed again start of April, no reply, emailed again again a week later, asked school receptionist twice for calls back after Easter, nothing. I got DD's class teacher email from the recptionist and been CC'ing in the principal and vice principal as they are on the safeguarding team, used their emails before no problem and saved in my contacts so I know itss right. Principal will walk away from school gate when I drop DD off to avoid me...

How old is dd?

@MsPrue I think I would now contact Children’s services at your LA. The school
should be working with them on matters of safeguarding. The school seems useless and not doing their job. Have you read their safeguarding policy? Who do they say you can contact? There should be other agencies mentioned.