Would you change your children's school even if they were happy?

[Breezycheesetrees]

Things at my children's (y1 and 3) school seem to be really deteriorating since the new head came in post in January. Enrichment is dwindling away to nothing, scarcely any art or music, there's nothing up on the walls except numeracy and literacy stuff and this seems to be the exclusive focus of everything now. The recent Ofsted remained "good" with a very slight decline in L&N noted (as per many schools post Covid!) So presumably this is why, but it's become such a depressing place.

Several long-term (but not retirement age) staff have left, and there apparently is a gagging order on remaining and departing staff. Head is sending out stroppy, passive aggressive communications. It's not a church school, but since she joined there seems to be a big increase in Christianity being rammed down our throats at every opportunity. Meanwhile, we are surrounded by apparently cheerful, thriving schools with tons of outdoor curriculum/enrichment going on and I can't help feeling my children would get a much better, more rounded experience elsewhere.

But, they're happy. They like their friends, they're doing fine. My eldest I think would flourish in a bigger, busier school but my youngest is quite quiet and shy and would probably find the move hard.

Would you stick it out, or jump now? (many parents are talking about moving, and other local schools have limited free places so we might miss the opportunity if we don't do it this term). I'm obsessing a bit about it at the moment - DH thinks we should wait and see if things improve.

Jump. Jump with both feet and don't look back. The fact so many staff are leaving screams management issues and that's not an issue you can solve. Yes they might be happy at school right now but there is nothing to say they will remain happy and that they wouldn't be happier at another school.

Thank you, yes that's my instinct too, I just wasn't sure if I'm being too impulsive based on my gut dislike of this new head. Staff are clearly very unhappy (it's a small village school so even though they've been forbidden from speaking about the changes, it's very obvious). I think I'm going to have a job convincing DH though, and I'm very aware that if the kids (especially the 6yo) struggles it will be on me. It's so hard!

never move a happy child

Yes I get that - are you able to say more?

I would. My eldest is in a lovely village primary school and really happy. However I know the ks2 isn’t that great so we are already making plans to move him

Ordinarily I'd agree but in this situation the school culture is changing and the school they are happy to attend is not the school they are now attending. All these changes will change the school and subsequently they will be left in a school which has a toxic work environment and their friends may leave. At which point when they then present as unhappy it may be to late to make a change. Better to move before the inevitable shit hits the fan so to speak.

Yup. I moved my dd half way through reception and she went to nursery at the school as well. She was happy, had friends and I liked the school. However, she got a spot at another school, that offered an opportunity her other school did not. Plus, it was a 5 mins walk away instead of a 20. It was life changing for me. I no longer had 40 minute school runs (walking there and back) that would often be in the rain! The funny thing is, when we switched schools it seemed the rain suddenly would stop happing so much during the school runs lol. My dc are thriving several years later.

Yes that's exactly my fear, and I worry it'll be like rats leaving a sinking ship soon and we'll be stuck. I have a severe tendency to throw everything up in the air at the first sign of trouble though, and have made some drastic, ill-judged life changes in the past - I'm scared I'm about to do the same to my kids.

Can you supplement the art and music outside school? If they are happy and getting a good grounding in maths and English, I would tend towards making up any loss of enrichment myself or through after school clubs.

Yes that's DH's view, and we do as best we can - we're quite a creative family and spend lots of time outside, their life is basically one long bushcraft session when they're not in school. So they will get all that stuff anyway, it just makes me sad to think of their school days being so drab and depressing when I know it could be so much better (I do session work in other local schools so see what's going on and what they're missing out on).

What does your year 3 think about a possible school move? I was desperate to move my youngest when he was 6/7. His school has terrible SATs results and other families had been bailing out in huge numbers whenever they could.

My DH was much more relaxed about things. My child was adamant that he did not want to move schools. One of my main concerns was academic progress. I thought that it would take at least a term, if not more for better academic standards in a new school to start improving my child's school work since he would needs to put most of his time and energy in to getting used to a totally new school. It could put him back academically for a while. Anyway, it was my child's major reluctance to move that stopped me. I did not want to be dragging a distressed child to a new school he had clearly told me he did not want to go to.

My eldest is well up for it - he's asked to move to the bigger school a few times, mainly based on the fact that it's next to the park and he likes the look of their playground 😂But he knows a few children in the y3 class from clubs he goes to, and I know he'd thrive there. My youngest is not up for it, but he hates new things in principle. However, I worry he'd struggle socially in a bigger class, and a bigger school generally - where they are now has mixed age classes, which means he plays with some of the younger ones and gets looked after by some of the older, which works really well for him and gives him confidence. I'm not worried about either of them academically, although I wonder if they could be pushed a bit more (but lots of parents think that).

I guess it's tricky. Any other school you join can have this happen to them. However, leadership is so, so important in how a school functions. It's make or break. If leadership isn't there, your kids will soon be far less happy at the school. I would enquire about spaces and take it from there.

I’d jump. The children are young enough to have many years of benefit in a better-led school. When things are so bad that a gag is placed on departing staff then it’s a really dysfunctional environment, and will likely get worse rather than better.

Similar situation at mine, lots of parents jumped, we stuck it out for lots of reasons. Two years on I couldn’t be happier. Headteacher is settled, staff have steadied, amazing opportunities being provided, academics really picked up, kids very happy. I’m sure those that left would say the same about their new school though. What I would say is that it was an awful year for those of us who chose to stay seeing others constantly leaving. All a distant memory now. Schools need a chance, question your real reasons for leaving. I think a lot at ours just followed what others were doing, a sort of keeping up with the Jones and didn’t really think about if it was right for their kids or not.

how would anyone know about whether "gags" have been placed on departing staff? ANd what power would they hold anyway? The only power would be if a financial pay off could be reclaimed if a gagging order was broken, and such financial pay offs are normally agreed when there is no clear "right or wrong" likely to be found in court. Or teachers could go for much bigger court payouts, without gagging orders, couldn't they

sounds like a load of gossip to me, people are not aware when gagging orders are genuinly used

You have to really drill down to see what is happening. Is this a needed focus and change? Are the staff who left just set in their ways? Or the best ones? Sometimes it is good to leave if you've been somewhere a long time and new leadership sparks an idea of change not necessarily because they disagree. Or people were overlooked for promotion so leave. But maybe this was a good app? Or not, that's why you need to check it out. Can you find out where the new head worked before and see if you know anything about that school etc?

It's easy to say never move a happy child.

I did. She was happy but I could see that it wasn't going to last. I was right.
They are not old enough to know-you have to advocate for them!

Very movable at that age and I'd be off like a shot

It’s unlikely to be a gagging order (as in a court order) but that’s not really the point, is it? It’s not about whether it’s legally enforceable, but more about apparently unhappy relations between the leadership and the departing staff.

Perhaps OP will tell us more about this aspect.

With this update - I would actually see a counsellor before makig this huge change as you may be repeating an unhealthy pattern.

I would not move my kids unless my kids were unhappy or being let down in some way.

Do you think there is any chance the previous head was not managing budgets properly and now this head is having to dig the school out of the shit? Because extra-curricular stuff is being cut all over the place. The grass is not always greener.

it is an agreement between tow parties not to go to court - it happens when the court case could go wither way, and neither is sure of the outcome. There is a payout, typically about 2 months salary, and the teacher is normally allowed no to work their notice. It is legally binding because the money can be reclaimed. If confidentiality is broken by the teacher, then the school will take them to court, and also reclaim the money.

It could be as simple as asking a teacher to leave because their philosophies are not aligned.

what I am saying is such gagging orders to not imply the school is in the wrong, they are just a management tool

and secondly, people dont know when they have happened, as discussion about it is banned.

So I dont beleive this is happening the way the op suggests, at all.

This overdramatic gossipy and hostile response to a newcomer with a different perspective is typical village culture. Doesn't matter what the newcomer is doing or how valid it is - hostility ensues because they're an outsider.

I think you're overreacting and getting swept up in village drama and gossip. Just because people are making dramatic statements about withdrawing their kids, doesn't mean they will. It's village hot air and people being bitchy.

What's your evidence base that walls covered in chaotic distractions actually benefit children's learning? They're nice for you to see as a parent, sure, but how does it benefit the children's learning to be surrounded by distractions? What evidence are you calling upon?

Pulling your kids out of a good school on the basis of village gossip/drama and wall displays would be extremely daft.

A friend moved her child to another school that was more convenient to her in Y1. The child didn’t settle and returned to the original school in Y3. So much happier now back with those original friends and likewise for the friends. Don’t underestimate the power of good friendships regardless of the age. Also don’t fall for what the local schools give the appearance of being or what the school gossip says. Make your decision based on facts and in your child’s best interests. Gagging orders etc sound unlikely to me which makes me question how much is just speculation that you are falling for.