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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Have I made the wrong primary school choice?

19 replies

wadercl · 21/04/2023 23:17

Hi all,

So I’ve accepted a primary school place for my little boy at the school down the road from us. But he goes to an amazing nursery attached to a school the other side of town. It’s kind of just hit me that basically all of his friends will be going to the other school and he’s the only one going to his school from his nursery. He’s a v confident boy but I feel kind of bad - that maybe I’ve done the wrong thing? Anyone have any experience? I don’t want him to feel left out

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Grimbelina · 21/04/2023 23:20

Honestly, their friends change all the time in early primary and my DC didn't really play with their nursery friends so much once they got to school as there were so many more children to play with. Now they can hardly remember them. A school close to your house is a great idea for playdates etc. rather than traipsing over the other side of town. More importantly, did you choose it because you thought it would be the best setting for your child?

Hellocatshome · 21/04/2023 23:33

Presumably you chose it for a reason. You are just having a wobble, its all fine.

SophiaSW1 · 21/04/2023 23:42

It will be fine. Mine made friends with those they hadn't been to nursery with right away even though the nursery kids were actually in their class

Live4weekend · 22/04/2023 00:48

They make a whole new group of friends.

Both my kids knew hardly any of the other children when they started school.

It wasn't the closest school and whilst they made friends, they weren't on the doorstep.

I think living locally is so important.

It's what my eldest will go to the local high school even though most of her friends will go elsewhere.

Snowdropsarelovely · 22/04/2023 03:46

Honestly, it will be fine. Mine was similar – didn't go to reception class with any friends from nursery because of location but choosing a school close to my house was definitely the right thing to do because once they made friends in school they had friends in our local area. I'm sure your little boy will soon make new friends

Triedit · 22/04/2023 04:22

They will all be new together and there will likely be plenty of children who don’t know anyone else. It’s much much better in the long run for all of you if his friends live close to you and to the school.

PuttingDownRoots · 22/04/2023 05:49

We moved hundreds of miles before each of our DDs started Reception. By half term the kids couldn't remember who had been in the nursery, and by Christmas most of the parents had forgotten too.

In a few years time, your child will be more independent and being able to play with friends locally is a big part of that.

tadpolecity · 22/04/2023 23:52

A local school is amazing. He'll have forgotten his nursery friends within a week

berksandbeyond · 23/04/2023 08:54

You definitely want the closest school possible! Being able to walk to and from school is amazing, and for social reasons it’s much better to have local friends

Heckythump1 · 24/04/2023 08:23

My DD went to school nursery on the opposite side of town as the one at the end of our road was full when we moved.
Then COVID happened so when she started reception at the school at the end of our road, she'd never been inside, didn't know a single staff member or child and we weren't even allowed to take her in on the first day, just drop at the gate.
She was absolutely fine, made loads of friends and settled brilliantly!
And I LOVE being at the local school, short walk, local friends that we walk to and from school with and go to the local park with after school. Definitely preferable to a long along from the other side of town!

Panicmode1 · 24/04/2023 08:31

My son went to a totally different school to his nursery friends - honestly, it's fine. The summer is so long, they barely remember each other at the beginning of reception anyway 😉 He will presumably be walking to school and bumping into his friends on the way every morning, and it's SO much easier being close to primary school!

florenceandthemutt · 24/04/2023 08:49

I think you're probably just having a wobble.

From DD's nursery last year, 22 of the children started at the same school (inc DD). It is a two form entry. Now, knowing the children also comes with it's problems. DD hasn't formed new friendships and is stuck in a dynanic with two other girls, which is not healthy or good. Y1 she will be separated. In some ways, whilst we love the school, we sometimes question whether we should have gone with the school where fewer nursery children had gone to help with her social development.

EggInANest · 24/04/2023 09:02

Local friends in a local school will be much better through the primary years, and give him friends to go to secondary with!

Much better not to have to travel for the school run.

Visit local playgrounds in the summer and he may well get to know, or recognise, local children.

But will also make friends on day one of Reception if he is confident.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 24/04/2023 13:20

EggInANest · 24/04/2023 09:02

Local friends in a local school will be much better through the primary years, and give him friends to go to secondary with!

Much better not to have to travel for the school run.

Visit local playgrounds in the summer and he may well get to know, or recognise, local children.

But will also make friends on day one of Reception if he is confident.

I couldn't agree more.
DS went to to closest school to his nursery (which is also the closest school to our house). He knew loads of his reception intake. Within a fortnight, he had all new friends. When I pointed this out to him he said that he was bored of all the people he knew from nursery!

Now 14, his best friend is someone who came into his class in Year 1.

I promise you, at 8.30 on a wet winter morning you'll be pleased to have the closer school! Keep it! It'll be fine.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/04/2023 13:43

A school close to home is a bonus. They will make friends and be local

We often meet up with her school friends en route dd6 yrs and when my leg was in plaster and I totally non weight bearing earlier this year thank god I was local to school and a wonderful family took and collected dd5 then for me

If on a local town Fb group then there are always groups set up for xxx school sept 23 for example

Join the group and you can always arrange to meet some of the reception class children in summer holidays at the local park so will see some familiar faces in sept

Original poster

wadercl · 24/04/2023 13:48

Thanks so much for all of your encouraging messages! Feeling so much better! Definitely a wobble but feel much more confident about our choice now. Thank you!!! :) xxxx

OP posts:

viques · 24/04/2023 19:43

And the lovely thing about it being so near is that you can talk about it every time you walk past, “ oh look, all the children in your new school are out having playtime”, “ Can you see all the children in the playground learning how to catch and throw?It looks fun doesn’t it?”. If there is a summer fair you can both go along to that too. And if he has a visit morning there with you , you will probably see children from the area ( and their parents) . Local schools are the way to go every time.

Junipajungle · 23/03/2024 07:32

Ah I hear you. I have just done exactly the same and chosen the school that is pretty much next to our house. All his friends are going to the village school and I feel terrible. I do agree with everything everyone says.

My worry is the school I have chosen has a real mix of families as we live in a new housing estate but in a city with a real mix of deprivation. I really don’t want to sound like a snob as I think it’s good for him to see that not all children are as lucky as he is but I also worry what he might be exposed to or having the wrong influence. I spoke to other parents there and they said the school is extremely caring and nurturing. I just still feel hugely anxious. We just want our kids to be safe and happy and it’s so hard!

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 24/03/2024 10:08

My dc are 12 and 15, so we are beyond this, but I thought I might share a potentially heartening story. The DC's nursery was halfway between two primary schools, but our house is much closer to one of them.

Both dc went to the school closest to home, and their nursery pals were split about 50/50 between the two schools. A few weeks into Reception I commented to ds that all his friends were new people, he hadn't known from his nursery. He looked at me with steely eyes and sighed "Mummy, I'm bored of those people, we've been together everyday since we were one". So maybe starting school with people you don't know can be a positive!

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