we're moving schools,...can we wait until the end of the year? long..

[lovetIngles2]

I have posted on this topic under a different name recently.
So we have decided to move ds's to another local school. They are currently yr's 2 & 3. New school is a junior so we have spaces from Sept for yr's 3 & 4. Would have liked to move them sooner, but this school was the clear champion.
Anyway, handed in letter this morning but told head despite my feelings I would continue to support school (I'm a gov and on pta!) This pm, we had community afternoon, parents invited for lunch, activities etc. I was assigned yr 6, and continued as normal. ds's teacher (mixed yr class so same teacher) made it very obvious she couldn't look or talk to me. Later in the afternoon, discovered my ds1 in floods of hysterical tears, he is NOT a cryer and has never cried at school. Turns out, teacher told him he couldn't see me and to get back to his classroom, this is when loads of children, toddlers, parents wandering around, ie NOT a normal afternoon. He has been clingy all evening and I'm not happy. I don't give a monkeys what she thinks of me, after all I don't think a great deal of her, but she is NOT upsetting my kids.
Does anyone have experience of this?
Should I talk to head?
Should I just not send them back after 1/2 term?
What do you think?

Thats awful. We moved dd1 mid reception year, school was awful to her and i feel teachers let her down, but even more so when they knew we were moving. It was horrible. Hard to say what you should do but ime go with your gut feeling, what you feel is right for dss.

Hi Frazzled,.. Thanks a lot for replying
I just knew someone was going to reply saying it was worse after the decision to leave was made! I know there is another thread on teacher bashing but actually I'm just disgusted by such unprofessional behaviour.

I was really let down by dd first school anyway so it came as no surprise to me when they treated her differently I knew from very early on that i should change schools but perservered for 6 months. It tore me apart at the time and i deeply regret not moving sooner, but dd now has no recollection at all - but she was only 4. If your new school will accept you early i'd go early, but everyone is different, thats just my opinion, others may not share that view.

That's the problem Frazzled, they can't take my infant! As he is the major problem at current school ( not getting anywhere academically, not many friends etcetc) I don't want to move him mid year to a temporary school cos I'm not sure he will cope. I would love to take them out and HE but I have my own business and really don't have the time to do this, which ever way I look at it!

In that case just go and talk to school and explain why you're changing and say you feel dss have been treated unfairly as a result. Tell them you don't want dss to suffer until they move, explain again your willingness to support this school, i think you're being exceptionally reasonable, not sure i could be this good! I'm sure if you go in and voice your concerns calmly they'll understand. If not, be firm and go to govenors etc.

I think you'll have to speak to the school again and live with a compomise until the summer since you can't logistically move both now anyway. Slightly confused as to why you felt the need to tell them so soon tbh. It is unlikely the fuller explanation you gave the head has had time to be relayed in any detail to the teacher. It will probably all blow over by the new half of term and there may have been a speicific reason why it wasn't ok for your ds to seek you out at that time which he misinterpreted.

Education department would already have told school anyway. They did with me, school knew before i told them! Education department have to contact old school when application for new school is received, thats even before a place has been offered i think, from what i remember

LIZS - good advice, it would be surprising if a teacher went out of their way to upset a child, just to make a parent feel bad, most teachers actually like children.

Have you talked to the teacher to find out if there was a reason for son not being able to see you?

I'm sure the teacher was surprised you're moving schools esp if you're a govnor and they had no idea, maybe that's why she seemed a bit funny, but things will settle down. A parent moved a child from my class when I was first in teaching - I found out the day after we'd had a really lovely parent/teacher meeting and it can be a shock esp if parent hasn't voiced any concerns in the past (don't know your circumstances) but I don't know any teacher who was in this situ and then went on to be mean to the child (maybe my xp is limited?)

Presumably your kid knew he was moving schools? Even when they do know they're moving and it's the best thing for the child they can get upset because they're little and do worry about things like friends (school is a massive part of their day), this can make them act out of character - don't feel bad if that's the case, children settle down really quickly and make new friends at new schools super fast! And as the move's the best thing, it's the best thing IYSWIM.

If he doesn't go back after 1/2 term he will miss quite a lot of school, plus be out for the hols - that's an awfully long time to be out of the classroom for such a young child IMO.

Good Luck!

That's exactly what happened to us Frazzled. I phoned the other schools just to make an appt to look around. The next morning I was grabbed by the head wanting to know why we were moving. I didn't want to tell the school yet, but didn't have any choice.

Thanks Liz and bb99, The school have been aware for at last a year that I'm not happy there. We were without a head for a year, and things went very downhill. As for their class teacher, unfortunately she's been ds1's teacher for 3 years now..(tiny school), she doesn't like me as she thinks I'm a pushy parent. I'm not particularly, but am in relation to a lot of parents round here. We live in a very rural community and I'm the London incomer!

Wow! No head must be a nightmare! Poor kids, parents and teachers.

Things should settle after half term - I'm sure you're not doing this but a colleague had a child move who really started acting out of character (was a LOVELY child) and they found out the parents had been really running the school and teacher down. The child liked her teacher and the school and the move was made largely - I know you're in a different situ - because of convenient childcare (yes - this DOES have to happen sometimes, so I'm not having a dig at the move) Think child may have coped better if she hadn't had to keep agreeing with mum about all nasty things she was saying, as it was 'confusing' for the kid IYSWIM.

Hope it all works out for you all and London incomers can be good for a school

Once we moved dd we never looked back, it was the best thing we could've done for her. you perservered longer than me with old school, you just know enough is enough and do what is right for you. you have to now approach head and teacher toghether maybe? Just be firm, you sound like you are anyway. I think bb99 is right, most teachers do like children!, maybe we sometimes misinterpret them (i didnt tho). Good luck

Thanks a lot, I know I'm making the right decision for the kids in the long run, it seems hard right now, because they are happy there and they are not looking forward to leaving their friends, so I really don't want to make this any harder for them than it already is.
I've tried very hard not to run the school down to my ds's but they're pretty switched on and as they've been going to a tutor for the last few months, have known for ages that things aren't right. As for the teacher, we just aren't seeing things from the same perspective at all. I feel pretty strongly that ds2 has dyscalculia/ dyslexic tendencies. Her opinion, is that he's not bottom of the class and as she has kids who will never learn numbers / to read it's not a problem.
I really don't care about what other dc are achieving, I just know ds2 is not achieving any where near his potential. I'm not expecting him to be brilliant, but I think it's a problem that in yr 2, he cannot form letters / numbers correctly and has very little number recall.
Actually what I really can't bear is her obvious opinion that she knows more than me about my dc , when she has only been teaching for 4 years in a tiny school and 3 of those have been with the same children.
In her defence though, she is now dealing with a mixed infant / junior class, with a very high % of SEN some of which are severe and disruptive and very little help.

lovetIngles2 - good luck with the move, parents know when it's the right thing to do and you dc's will settle into their new place really quickly and make new friends etc

It's common for children to feel anxious about a move and sometimes act out of character (as I said). My DD had to move schools when she was going into year 2 and was really worried (had to move area due to work commitments) but is now (6 years later) really pleased she did and has made fab friends, plus found making new friends at secondary school move easier as she'd had to do it b4.

There's a really good organization for dyslexia/dyscalculia but can't recall the name at the mo - will look up and see if I can pass onto you (if I'm teaching you to suck eggs just say and I'll stop interfering!)

Not at all bb99. thanks a lot

I'm searching, but am on Mat leave at the mo, so haven't tracked down the info.

Will endeavor to follow up, my (not frequently seen) friend uses the organization (last time I saw her anyway) but I can't seem to remember at the moment the name of the thing.

Must be suffering mummy brain!

Best wishes for schooling after 1/2 term! And have a good hol.

Thanks bb99, I appreciate it....
Enjoy your maternity leave