What learning do you do with a 4 year old at home?

[aMusingMum]

DD will be going to reception in September and is quite a bright one. But I have never actively done any proper learning with her ( because she goes to nursery full time and now I have a DC2 less than 1 yo). But if I do, will probably really help her and something she will enjoy too I am sure. But I don't know what to do? Got some phonics Flashcards on someone's recommendation and just a week with her and she mastered it. So feeling guilty about not doing more by now! Please give me all your ideas especially with for eventually helping with reading , writing and maths. And I know she will learn things in school but I just really want to know how can I know what exercises activities to do with her which are age appropriate but still can do justice to her potential. TIA!

Please don't do the flashcards thing. I just picture some awful pushy parent trying to pressurise their child (I'm sure you're not like this).

Read to them, encourage them to ask questions about whatever takes their fancy, let them 'help' when you're cooking, lots of play, lots of fun, lots of music, lots of being out in nature.

I did nothing for my older two and do nothing for my DD who is 4 and will start in September.

I let them play, and encourage them to be independent with getting themselves dressed, washed, putting own coats on etc. I read to them at home and we talk about the stories etc. Beyond that . . . . Nope. I refuse to buy into all of it.

This thread is very useful. I thought I was being a shit parent by not doing enough educational work with my my almost 4 year old.

Mainly just learning to read tbh. We didn't do phonics because it didn't seem to click. We just did the ladybird high frequency words books (Peter and Jane) and I read to them a lot.

Thank you so much all for the amazing ideas and making me less miserable! So glad I posted. We do a lot of reading and she is really good with her cutting, arts and crafts.

@charlertin exactly!
@WhatHoMarjorie I hope I am not. Lol! Trying to find the right balance between 'cant be bothered/ not doing enough' parent and the pushy parent.
@Growlybear83 thank you! helpful!
@WhiskersPete Thank you. Very helpful and reassuring.
@Snowpaw oh yes! we have a couple of those. Thank you for reminding me about them. I can see how that can be fun!

Thanks again everyone! Super helpful.

I tend to let my children play outside as much as possible at that age. We spent hours in the park. I also read a lot to them, but when it came to them learning to read I was very relaxed and did not push too much. I also focused on that time learning a second language. I only speak one language, so really wanted my dc to be fluent in a second language. So I made a huge effort with playing nursery rhymes in the second language, flash cards, hiring a native speaker to come and read/speak to them in the language. My dc also managed to get into a bilingual school, so they are now fluent in that language. My youngest is now 3 so my focus for her is letting her play in the second language. I also did lots of arts and crafts with them. We never did phonics at home. They learned that while in school. They are all doing well in school with this relaxed approach.

I purposefully don't do anything they teach in reception with mine - they have a structured format in reception and will have to go through it regardless so I'd rather spend our time doing/learning other stuff. Nursery will cover a lot, especially if your child is already there full time, so just enjoy your free, unstructured time with them before they start getting homework and don't ruin it with flashcards.

I think I was too pushy with my eldest before reception and was doing flash cards etc but work taught her wrong as I didn’t have a good enough grasp of phonics.

I’m doing things differently with my second who will start school in September. I’m trying to do a lot of blending out-loud so will have throw in some p-I-g type words to see if she can blend them. We do a lot of counting in play. I’m focusing a bit more on scissors and fine motor skills and will have a blitz on bottom wiping in the summer.

My facebook memories just showed me the list I was given when my daughter went to visit school she was going to start at. The teacher wanted us to practice things like tidying up, putting shoes neatly side by side (shoes off school), washing hands, eating with a knife and fork, cutting paper and cloth with scissors, tasting new things, travelling to school safely, and peeling their own potatoes (not peeling raw potatoes, but peeling their own boiled potatoes at lunch if they don't like eating the skin. This one tickled me.)

A good game to play is I hear with my little ear. Give the sounds e.g. c-ar, c-a-t and practise blending sounds.

Unless you have a good understanding of phonics (phonemes, graphemes, digraphs, split digraphs etc) I wouldn’t start teaching phonics. I’m a primary school teacher myself and I haven’t taught my son any of this yet as schools use different programmes for teaching phonics.

We definitely need to practise dressing/undressing ready for PE though.

Walking along the street point out the letters and numbers. Tracing the words while reading books and letting them finish the sentence (Duck in the muck is brilliant for this).

Thank you so much all for the amazing responses! Will try and take it all on board and not kill myself over things I can't do 🤪

Also have a reading eggs subscription and have left the teaching of reading and phonics to this and nursery as I don't want to confuse DC. This is when they want to and I am not too bothered if they don't do much. I do read to them every night and this alternates between simple books where they follow along as I read and typical children's stories. We spend a lot of time looking at pictures and thinking about what may happen next, how characters feel etc. I did this with my older DC too but I put too much focus on reading the words at the time and now in school, I am seeing how much more important the comprehension is

We spend a lot of time cooking and baking at home - they help with every aspect of this - peeling and chopping veg, measuring ingredients, reading recipes (nursery one reads the numbers, older child reads the words). Shopping - DC is able to write if you dictate letters so they write the shopping list then help pick the items in supermarket

Lots of time outside cycling and on scooter, climbing frames too. Focusing a lot on developing the gross motor skills which will help the fine motor when they need to sit at a desk in school

Mine started reception this year knowing how to blend simple words confidently, knowing all of her single letter phonics sounds and a handful of digraph sounds and being confident counting to ten forwards and backwards, basic addition and subtraction and understood the concept of multiplication. She could also write her name and a few simple words. Tbh I thought this would put her at about average ability but she's way ahead with everything but especially reading. I'm actually finding I don't bother much with her formal 'homework' which is just to learn her phonics sounds as she's already mastered up to phase 5 sounds and sight words which is what they formally learn in Y1 and 2. Instead we humour the teacher by having a quick look at the sounds in her folder (that she already knows) and we practice writing instead. She's by no means behind with writing but can tend to be a bit clumsy and doesn't always remember how to spell sight words that she's learned so this is what we work on. My advice would be to use a any focussed time (which should be quite little at this age btw) to taylor what you/her teacher think she needs to work on and avoid racing ahead in any one area if possible unless it's child led. The single most helpful thing you can do is read to/with them at this age which is the majority of what my dd and I do. We also do lego together and baking and just play/explore. My dd has also just started violin lessons. This is IMO far more stimulating and valuable for her than racing ahead with school work. Don't forget as well that just because she's starting school doesn't mean she'll just stop wanting to play and explore independently. This should still take up the majority of their time at this age IMO. Your dd sounds like she'll do well whatever you do so don't overthink it