Innapropriate comments by head

[User1145]

Hi everyone,

I work in a school that is run by a head teacher who is what I can only describe as inappropriate at times and unprofessional. A lot of innapriproate/sexual comments/jokes, some of these implicit and others pretty much verging on explicit. These are made in front of staff and even during times where pupils are in the room (sure year 6 might pick up on it).
I won't be too specific but will make up a similar example of a comment and it might be 'these balls look fun to play with' but you know what they're really referring to when they say 'balls' as they make it obvious that is what they're doing. Some staff members laugh it off, either because they find it genuinely funny or awkward.

Now I started the school this academic year but I am very confused as to why this hasn't been flagged up, or has it and nothing has been done about it? I know schools can be good at covering things up. But I just find it so awful and feel like I should do something about it? Any advise!

Is this a woman talking in an inappropriate way to a man?

Oh fgs
Give over

I think the world has changed and lots of people do things like this for laugh’s unfortunately. While maybe not appropriate, this is quite a way younger generation’s make connection with this type of joke. I’ve seen it in lots of work places along with swearing etc as being the norm

@sweatynoob yeah I guess so. I feel in front of the kids it's not right.
I'd understand if it was an adult only workplace.

Why? Do you do something similar at work

I work in a primary school and we have a guy like this. Not the head though! I find it so irritating. Like dealing with a teenage boy. Sometimes I'll make a completely innocent comment in front of a child and he'll he in the background sniggering away which confuses younger children and definitely makes older year 6s then see what was said in a difficult light. By innocent I mean for example a child was asking for a football and I said "oh mrs X has some balls". Another example playing chess "what are you doing with that pawn?" He had to leave the room for that one. Juvenile and really not on from a head teacher!

Yes exactly this! And he sounds very annoying!

@User1145
Firstly it’s a silly man thing. My DH at 70 is still like this - not when he was working I hope but I cannot be sure. He ran a professional consultancy. With friends he seems to think inappropriate innuendo, that should have been left behind at 13, (or 10) is funny. I’ve spent over 45 years saying he’s a child and to shut up. The big issue seems to be that others laugh. I’m never sure why. Women and men. It’s utterly bizarre.

However, I think it’s “look at me“ - I’m in charge but Im not a “serious” person. We can have a laugh at work and get the job done too. It’s definitely a man thing. They grow up with humour stuck in childhood.

What on earth can be done about it? A far bigger problem. I’ve discussed it endlessly with DH but he thinks he’s funny. I say he’s pathetic, childish snd attention seeking. This Head has an audience. I think you could talk to the deputy. Talk to the chair of governors, if a woman. If a man, be careful. Use the complaints procedure? Have you access to the school improvement partner? It’s not acceptable. However getting him to change will be a huge uphill struggle.

As a parent I wouldn’t be impressed if a teacher was behaving like this in front of my children.

I would describe it as sexual harassment in that context, a school (I work in a school). He should be aware it is massively inappropriate.

I would look up your safeguarding/position of trust/whistleblowing policy if you want to complain and find out who to talk to

If you remember write down what he has said, when and who was there to witness it

Many of the children will pick up on this and it makes for a really inappropriate situation particularly in the message it gives out to the children. Could the situation be tackled head on ie: why do you think it's funny to make sexual innuendos. Presumably this person would prefer to change their behaviour rather than lose their job.

@Streamside
I don’t think they can change. They’ve been doing this for a long time. They really think it’s harmless. I’ve spent years, decades, telling dh he’s a complete idiot. I think he wouldn’t do it around children but other stupid adults laugh! It’s like a children’s club. I agree there should be a complaint.

He won't change, and the reason why I suggested things might be covered up is there have been a few incidents linked to this head that seemed to have been brushed under the carpet. Some involving innapropriate behaviour towards members of staff. One who was too afraid to come forward and complain, so makes me wonder if others have come forward in the past. And yes I might have to see who I can talk to this about. We do have an executive but this person might be helping to brush things under the carpet.

Check your school’s whistleblower and complaints policy very carefully, including the route for complaints about the head.

You should find a route by which you can report, and you could approach it through the potential for reputational damage to the school should this eg be recorded and publicised via social media.

If you are part of a MAT, consider elevating it within the MAT, again using the line that such behaviour can reflect badly on the MAT as a wholr. If an LA primary, then report to the LA according to the policy.

Or if you don’t want to go ‘official’, it may be an effective line ‘in the moment’ - ‘X, would you really like that to appear on social media with the school’s name on?’ in a slightly jokey tone might do it.