Negative experience of class mixing

[Spideyglasses]

Just wondering what experience others had of class mixing in 2/3 form entry primaries?

DS6 had a small group of friends last year when he was in reception. Hes outwardly confident but shy deep down. No behaviour issues with him or his friends have ever been reported- theyre a lovely group of kids. Last year he was moved away from his group and put into a different class with one friend he was vaguely friends with. We didnt challenge it at the time as it was presented as a done deal. We are 2 terms in now. He hasnt made any new friendships in the new class. The friend he was moved in with has become quite dominant and ds struggles for his voice to be heard. Ive been in and met with his teacher several times to try and put in place support to help him but its not working. We are experiencing emotional difficulties at home with him now too. His teacher admits it hasnt worked and the support he has offered is more for children who struggle socially than anything else. DS doesnt struggle- he has friends before. Ive asked for him to be moved with his friends but have been told that it wont happen. They dont move them again until the juniors.

Has anyone had any experience of this?

Anyone?? If no experience, any suggestions on next steps?

I am wondering why they switched in first place and why they will not switch again? If they switch, they should be switching every year. In fact, it is good for the kids to switch and make new friends. Perhaps set up play dates for your dc w kids in his class.

I’ve also only ever experienced issues for my kids when they don’t mix the classes

It sounds like your son is struggling socially now, regardless of what reception was like. Are there no other kids in his new class with similar interests to him?

My ds was put in a different class to his best friend when he moved into year 2. But he still plays with him at break times and lunch. They get lots of outdoor playtime in the infants, so they still see plenty of each other and they are still best friends. The class mixing has been positive at their school, as it means that the children have friends throughout the year group and not just in their class. You could pick any random 4 kids out of the 60 and they’d play well together. Does your child not still see his friend at playtimes?

My experience of class mixing is that it is excellent for the popular highly social children-and no so much for the shy quiet ones who find making new friends difficult.
It's very popular to do though.

Ds appears confident and chatty but is actually quite shy and nervous underneath.

There arent many boys in his year at all and the ones that are there are in established friendship groups from last year that, for whatever reason, just haven't changed. Teacher says that hes well liked in the class but just not really bonded with anyone. Hes been sat with a few different children on their tables etc and that hasnt sprung anything.

He sees friends from previous at playtime which is good. He also has friends outside of school from various places.

Ive asked him about playdates but he just says he isnt really friends with any one in there. At class parties he will say hello etc to kids but often just ends up by himself. Its genuinely heartbreaking- he is sociable and he has friends but just not in this class and it doesnt seem to be changing or improving.

We’re 2 form entry and the classes get juggled every year. They juggle the seating plans every half term too but the year group has break and PE together so it’s never really occurred to me that it’s an issue. Genuine question (and I’m not trying to be funny with you) but why does it matter if he’s with his friendship group at breaktime? I’m not even sure any more who is in my dds class as it doesn’t seem to matter to her that much. She’s pretty introverted too but with a close knit small group of friends across the year group like your son

He could still be socialising with his other friends from previously through after school play dates though ?

And play with them at lunchtime?

The only time he is bound to the children in class is during class time.

Generally at this age they tend to all mix up in the playground anyway...

I would be finding out why he isn't mixing at playtime , lunchtime and after school because this doesn't necessarily sound like its down to a mix up classes ( which will continue to happen all through primary, juniors and secondary tbh ).

I had one DC that mixed and one that didn't. I much prefer the mix up approach. Widens friendships & mixes up dynamics. But they usually play with old mates at play times

He plays with his friends from his old class at playtime. When I ask him about people in his new class he just says hes not interested. They are largely still in established friendship groups/pairs from last year. It feels like his was split up to make up the numbers, if that makes sense.

Why does it matter? I guess because he is aware he has no friends in this class, despite his efforts to try. Hes ended up becoming reliant on one friend (who is very dominant and has been quite controlling which had a negative impact on DS). He doesnt seem happy and thats my biggest worry.

Id maybe understand the mixing up approach if it was a regular effort to blend classes but to do it once and then leave it for 3 years doesnt fit with that. Especially as a number of pre-existing friendship groups were kept in tact so its harder for people who have been separated from friends to break into those groups.

How many in each class? If you feel strongly and he does have friends in other class you could push for him to be moved if there's room. I would ask teacher to name a child or 2 in the class and ask them for playdates , you want him to have the skill to socialise with others so you have to teach him that, don't rely on his old friends.

Our School keep them in the same classes for Reception and KS1 and then mix them at KS2, so far as i've seen as my DD is only in Y2.
I'm looking forward to it as her current class is VERY boy heavy, 18 boys and 11 girls!
Are the classes full at present? As if they are, they won't be able to move him into the other class due to infant class size rules.

I find it interesting that people for the mixing, say both that it widens friendships and they can always play with their old friends during break/lunch.
Yes, that's not entirely incompatible, but if they're making genuine new friends, then surely they won't want to go back to their old friends? Equally well, if they always play with their old friends at break/lunch then are they really mixing and making other friends?

But it's more than that. In the situation where one child is taken out of a friendship group and put in the other form then the group remaining will often form tighter bonds. They are partners in lesson times, school trips, even PE at that stage is done in forms often. They will have shared experiences that the one on their own won't be part of.
I think it only really works if the group is split into two fairly equal halves and then join back together again at break and lunch, or the dominant child who keeps them together is the one split-although in my experience normally the dominant child then forms a different group in their new form.

My daughter is in a school that has 1.5 form entry, so 2 small reception classes then 3 classes across yr 1-2,3-4 and 5-6. When my sons went through the school they tried to keep friends together and split up troublemakers but they now do it strictly on age so the oldest yr1 and youngest yr2 form the middle class. It was awful for my daughter in Yr 2 during Covid when she was split from her friend and not even able to socialise at breaks, but she seems to have adjusted as she goes up though the school. The least school could do is promote some friendships for your son within the class by partnering him with some different children.

@MargaretThursday I don't disagree. I think it suits some children much more than others too