Yr 3 son below expected levels because he can't get things from his head to paper

[CallawayV]

I've just had by son's Year 3 parents evening. At the last one in October he was behind in every subject. This carries on from Year 2 when the teachers kept telling me he was fine and where he should be, even though I saw him struggling when I did stuff at home with him. Then in his first SATS he was behind in everything.

The teacher told me yesterday that he is making progress, particularly in his maths. That's possibly because he hired an online tutor for 30 minutes each week, and his confidence has really grown thanks to that tutor - he was terrified of maths before that.

She said he tries hard but he's still behind and she says the main reason is because he can't get stuff on paper. She said his verbal reasoning in maths and English is fantastic and he can talk through a maths problem or English text brilliantly, but he can't get that on paper. If he sees a maths problem written in words, he basically just guesses, she says, rather than trying to work out the maths problem. It means he's done badly in all his end of term assessments.

He's amazing at times tables (thanks to TT Rock Stars) and is Rock Legend already on that app - he's so quick I can't answer them like him! But he struggles to see, in a maths question, that they're asking him to show his times tables or division knowledge. If you give him a hint that's what they're looking for - he's away, but he doesn't spot it himself.

Apparently she's given up with his handwriting as it's his "own style" and is more focussed on the content (to be honest I thought his handwriting had improved loads!) He rushes into things without thinking through the question or what he wants to say properly.

She also said he's quite immature for his age. Not in messing about, but in how he responds to set backs (he's a bit of a drama queen basically) and that could be why he doesn't see the importance of presentation in his work, because he's not as mature as others. My partner and I have seen this in him, and we are worried it will cost him friends because he doesn't seem as grown up as other kids his age.

After trying to homeschool him during most of reception and Year 1 due to Covid, I feel incredibly guilty and he also hates me trying to help with things so trying to help him improve is hard. He sees through subtle attempts to squeeze in learning (because that's how I had to homeschool him!) so it's hard to give extra support.

Sorry for the long post but I would really appreciate any tips on help him with his maturity and getting stuff out of his head on to paper!!

Good for you. Sadly there is a huge shortage of EPs working for LAs now and many are only doing statutory assessment work, so going private is the only way for an EP assessment. You can alternatively get a qualified L7 dyslexia assessor to do it, which is probably cheaper. Many LAs don’t have any specialist teachers or assessors left and they often have a blanket policy not to do dyslexia assessments. If you do think it might be DCD (dyspraxia), see if the GP will do an OT referral.

Just give him time. It sounds as though he is making progress and that is the important thing. He is making the right progress for HIM, rather than that which government dictates. He is himself. He will be good at some things and bad at others and there is no need for him to achieve government targets. He needs to have his own targets and meet them.

Academic achievement is not the be all and end all.

Speak to the Senco. Plus it doesn't sound like the teacher likes him very much and can't even be bothered because most of the things that you've described she could be addressing easily if she put her mind to it.

Definitely sounds like he could be ND, I wouldn't rule our ASD either - it's not always obvious at this age when you're high functioning.

If he is ND he could be up to 3 years behind emotionally, it's something that needs time you can't make someone more emotionally mature than they are. You can talk about ways to cope or handle things, what you could do in different situations, which will probably be really helpful to him - but at the end of the day if he doesn't have that maturity and is just overwhelmed by his emotions it's likely to all go out the window anyway. He might also be quite black and white in his thinking and be very big on things being 'fair' and so might get very upset if things don't seem fair to him - which could make him seem dramatic.

If he's ND the chances are he won't see the importance of any kind of appearances! Certainly not in his work. I wouldn't worry - as he gets older the chances are he'll end up on a laptop for school/exams. If he can think the answers in his head but can't get in down on paper I wonder if that's a processing issue? It is possible also in exams to have a scribe or speech technology that you talk into and writes what you say.

I think getting him assessed will be hugely helpful. You might not be able to change his emotional maturity or how he processes things but knowing how his head works might really help with putting things in place that will help him to achieve his best. I would definitely see an ED before a dyslexia assessment because this may not be dyslexia - or it might be dyslexia plus something else. Neurodiversity runs in families but just because OH is dyslexic doesn't necessary mean ds is ND in the same way (although he might be) but better to get an overview first - my ds is autistic and dyspraxic and I recognise some of what you say here (he doesn't have trouble getting things from head to paper though).

Oblomov, I have gone back to the OP and re-read it in the light of your post, wondering if I had missed something.

Can you explain where you felt there was evidence that the teacher didn’t like him very much, and also where you thought the ‘quick fixes’ were?

Emotional immaturity relative to peers isn’t a quick fix, nor is the inference / visualisation to understand what a Maths problem requires, nor is presentation for a child who really finds handwriting difficult? All will be long, slow processes to improve, especially if they are all symptoms of eg being ND or a specific learning disability within the dyslexia / dyspraxia / dysgraphia grouping.

@CallawayV I would also suggest if you are getting/paying for the testing outside of school to getting an Ed Psych that has no links to the school so they are reporting/analysing their findings directly to you and not the school.

From my bitter experience there can be a lot of politics in the school referrals...

Just a quick update. His class teacher has said she’s spoken to the SENDCo and they will do a screening in school using a computer as a starting point, but has pointed out this will not be a diagnosis. She said this on Monday so I gave my permission and was hoping it would be done this week so I could have a better idea of how to approach homework with him over the Easter holidays. But I’ve not heard back yet so it’s not been done. I’ve chased today. I guess it’s a first step to getting a bit of a picture of how he processes things and seeing if we need to go forward with assessments from there. I just hope it gets done quickly after the holidays if they’re not doing it today.

@CallawayV I'm glad they're seeing him but not sure what screening they are going to do. A lot of schools just use the nessy screener. It's not a bad screener but I highly doubt a dyslexia screener will be helpful for your child if they're reading wellish. We were convinced my DDs issues were just maths because she was a boss at decoding and spelling, until the EP tested her fluency and everything else.
If you haven't already, I would try to look for a private EP as many have waiting lists.

Thank you. Do you know if there is a sort of register for recommended EPs? It seems a bit of a minefield to choose one and I don’t really know what I’m looking for. I want to work with the school as much as possible so was hoping to let their screening take place before seeking an EP, but when a simple computer screening seems to take ages I think I may have to jump the gun!

I would agree that the online dyslexia screener I have known used most often us a pretty crude one and is no substitute for an EP referral.

I wouldn’t hold it against the school that it hasn’t been done within 3 days in the last week of term. It generally needs someone trained who is available 1:1 (and not eg teaching a different class); a computer, a quiet unused space for a period of time (gold dust in all primary schools in my experience); a laptop, and the child (the school may be reluctant to pull them out of some lessons or end of term activities).

For the holiday, it may be worth thinking about trying out some recommended strategies ‘as if your child had a diagnosis’ - they are unlikely to do harm, and will inform the school next term. So eg scribing as he talks or trying out typing or voice recognition software or whatever are all viable things to do 1:1 at home without waiting for an expert report.

You can start your search here: https://www.achippp.org.uk/

I don't know where you are but I can recommend one in N London that's pretty affordable. I'm sorry to say but a dyslexia screener is just not doing to give you what you need and it's a waste of time waiting for one. My daughter had 2 screeners that she flew through and school said she's fine. Ended up with an EHCP as her dyslexia and dyscalculia was so severe.

I’m a dyslexia assessor. There is a programme that I would use that I’ve found very helpful for children with similar difficulties. Message and I’ll send details.

Agree with PP that school screeners are very, very basic.

Spot on advice here.

Sorry! Pressed too early I meant this is excellent advice and what I would recommend too.

I’ve experienced similar.

My son was one of the least able in year 3 and the top of his year group two years later. What worked? Time mainly. Yes a lot of help and motivation from me, mainly psychological to be honest. I’m not academic. But honestly he just needed to grow up.

He is now incredibly sensible and responsible and unbelievably now has beautiful handwriting into the bargain. The change has blown me away so I now spend a lot of time telling parents of similar children to just chill a little. Much of this stuff just requires some maturity.

My daughter was diagnosed with a processing disorder at around 7 or 8, she was very similar to how you’ve described your son.

Hi. My son has now had his screening. I have scheduled a meeting with his teacher and am still progressing the private EP route (though struggling to get responses from any). In the meantime, does anyone think there is any support I should be asking the school to give my son around the area where he is borderline? When his teacher handed me the results she said they were “good” so I’m not sure what support they will think he should have, if any?

I'm not in your neck of the woods, but if you haven't already I'd suggest starting with some reading from the various organisations that deal with dyslexia and dyscalcula. https://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/advice/children

There tend to be good support/advice groups for parents of children with SEN on FB if you're on there. They can be a good place to get recommendations of good specialists. The organisation I've linked above have some information. NHS has bit of general advice on dyslexia resources and seeking diagnosis too https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/dyslexia/