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Original poster

Has anyone deferred their summer born child’s school starting year?

67 replies

StopGrowingPlease · 07/03/2023 16:58

My child was born at the end of August so will be due to start school just after he turns 4. I am really not happy with this and I don’t want him to start school until he is 5. From what I have read it seems that I have every right to keep him out of school for the extra year but that he might have to go straight to year 1.
This makes no sense to me at all. I don’t want him to start almost a year younger than he has to and skipping a year isn’t going to help that at all. It would make it so much worse. Reception is a really important experience and I want him to start at the appropriate stage in his development…
He is only 18 months old at the moment but I would apparently have to apply for the deferral when he is 3 in case it isn’t accepted 😩
He is behind on his communication development as he isn’t saying any words yet and I just want him to have the best possible start to school by having as much chance to catch up and develop before he starts 🤷‍♀️

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Holidaywwyd · 07/03/2023 21:20

My July born is in reception now. We really thought about it and I was all for it in many ways, especially as he showed no interest in words, numbers, learning etc. However socially and emotionally he was ready for school, even if not academically, and I thought in many ways I would be doing him a disservice by holding him back in nursery for another year.

I'm still on the fence as to whether it was the right decision. He's perfectly happy at school and is a very confident child fortunately, but looks so small compared to a lot of his classmates. If he had been so confident I would probably have deferred.

I guess I'll never really know one way or the other whether it was the right decision

Holidaywwyd · 07/03/2023 21:21

*hadn't been so confident

Dragonsandcats · 07/03/2023 21:22

i would absolutely defer a late summer baby. I do think the school have to agree it though.

SheepInFog · 07/03/2023 21:30

My Summer sister (23/08) always did exceptionally well in school and is now physics professor.

My friend who also has a Summer born was at loggerheads with school admissions, she was adamant her daughter wasn't ready for school but they wouldn't have any of it. So she just didn't send her in on the September she was meant to. It worked and her daughter's absolutely thriving in her school now.

Everyone's different.

lanthanum · 07/03/2023 23:11

Do your research, but don't make any decisions yet.

Mine was a mid-august who was due late September. Although it was before they made it easier to defer entry, I would have fought for it if I thought it would have been better for her. They say that developmentally for premies you should work from the due date, not the birth date. As it turned out, she was completely ready to start school at just turned 4, so in the end we were quite glad she had ended up in that year - the pre-school would not have cut it for another year.

Not speaking at 18 months does not necessarily mean there is a problem. Some kids just start later and catch up - they seem to prefer to do lots of listening and wait until they're surer they'll get it right. I knew someone who went from barely any words at nearly 3 to reading fluently before they were 4. The language was obviously there!

I think it's great that deferring entry is more of an option nowadays, but be wary of assuming it's best for every summer-born.

Fordian · 07/03/2023 23:38

I could bore for hours on this. 😂

Both of my DSs deferred; in Y12 and Y14....

So they're 23/21 now. You couldn't defer back then.

DS1 b. end of May, into R year, then into a split Y1/2, or Y2. (him in the former). In this class were 25 DC; 21 boys, 4 girls. Teacher and I agreed what DS1 needed was to repeat R, 'along with 90% of all my boys' said the Y1/2 teacher!

Anyway, we soldiered on. His mate, S, was Sept born (in Y2 class). He got a 3 in his KS1 SATS. Well done, S! Mine got a 2b. Thence onto junior school. Where the SATS monitoring continued. My DS achieved a 3, aged 4 months younger than S had been, when they were at the end of Y2/KS2, when S got a 3.

But no one celebrated my DS.

So, the considerably older child was celebrated and validated. Like they do if they're 20% older and possibly bigger than their classmates, in sport, drama (Joseph and Mary?) and comprehension in R.

Something like 75% of Oxbridge applicants are Autumn born.

Fordian · 07/03/2023 23:42

The 'deferral' of which I speak is DS1, aged 15, hopelessly too immature to understand the implications of GCSEs; he did okay, but one grade point lower than predicted in 6/10 exams; all fell apart in the lower 6th; restart into a BTEC, now with a 1:1 in software engineering; DS2 toed the line but needed a foundation year, Y14, for maturity, not academic reasons. Now also at Uni.

Defer your boys if you think you should.

Ozcando · 07/03/2023 23:46

My son was a summer baby. He started in the January and was absolutely fine . I really think people worry too much! I was an August baby and cannot genuinely remember feeling disadvantaged.

mastertomsmum · 08/03/2023 00:04

Our DS was born end of August very prem. Deferral was more difficult back in 2009, so we opted for an independent school. He started as the oldest child in reception and the smallest child in the school - aged 5 in age 2 clothes. In Yr 4 we moved and he went to the local primary, I had to apply for a deferral but it worked out just fine.

Nursery were supportive of our decision to defer understanding stuff others struggled with. He was quite an early reader but - being so prem - quite behind physically and emotionally. A year made a big difference to that even though he remained tiny until around Yr 8.

He’s now 17 and in year 12 - there are 3 children older than him. 2 deferrals and a Ukrainian refugee. He’s 6 ft tall.

Gooseysgirl · 08/03/2023 04:32

Ok so you will always get people on these threads saying 'my DC is Aug born and was fine/caught up' etc etc. It really depends on the individual child. My daughter's four besties from school are all August born, now in Y6. Two of them are doing great academically, two of them have struggled all along and would have benefitted enormously from an extra year of preschool. My DD is April born and I remember thinking the day she turned four that there was no way she would have been ready for school at that point. If you feel your DC is not likely to be ready, defer.

Toffeebythesea · 08/03/2023 09:43

Personally I think it is almost irrelevant to wait and see how your child develops. It's always better to defer. The statistics speak for themselves and how can an extra year of play can ever be a bad thing. Yes I'm sure many children cope ok in reception aged just 4 but imagine how well they might have done if they'd have started a year later.

Ericaequites · 08/03/2023 12:00

Size alone is no reason to defer. Many children will always be the shortest in their class, so it won’t make a difference. Redshirting is a bad practice to encourage excellence in games, which is a very small part of school success.

Dammitthisisshit · 08/03/2023 12:06

Another vote for the Facebook group.

Late August DD here who we started at compulsory school age at 5 into Reception. Absolutely the right choice for us.

PeekAtYou · 08/03/2023 12:10

I would have deferred late August born ds if it was available at the time . He's done fine at school but would have had an easier time of things in the year below.

ememem84 · 08/03/2023 12:21

I have a September baby (DS) and an end of July baby (dd). ds is currently in reception, dd will start next year.

dh is an august baby so was the youngest in his year at school, i was october, so one of the oldest in mine.

Dh wanted to defer dd. but my issues with this were:

a) she's already in pre school at the school nursery (so this conversation would have been better had BEFORE she started there...);
b) she would only start in year 1 anyway (which is what our LEA have said - i checked it out).

to me there would be little point, because she'd be starting fresh out the box so to speak a year later than her classmates. this is where it might backfire on her. in my opinion. i think if she was able to start reception a year later then that might be ok, but even then...

as it is she's in school nursery, will start in reception in september having only just turned 4 at the end of this july. i think as well if she was my oldest, i'd have more concerns, but because she sees EVERYTHING her brother does and joins in with him on everything she can i think it'l work out.

Blaggingit123 · 08/03/2023 12:25

Don’t really agree that it would always be positive - my summer born dd has been academically exceeding in most academic areas since y1 and all areas since y2, is several inches taller than most of her peers and started going through puberty at just turned 8. I can’t see how it could possibly benefit her to be in a class/year group 1 year behind in that scenario. 100% right with hindsight to start at just turned 4 and this was not obvious at the time - she was writing her name but couldn’t blend and was a bit behind socially at that point.

Totally depends on the child and you should consider potential negatives as well as positives.

SnowLemons · 08/03/2023 12:27

Are they in nursery/preschool at the moment?

Gonewiththewind123 · 08/03/2023 20:57

ememem84 · 08/03/2023 12:21

I have a September baby (DS) and an end of July baby (dd). ds is currently in reception, dd will start next year.

dh is an august baby so was the youngest in his year at school, i was october, so one of the oldest in mine.

Dh wanted to defer dd. but my issues with this were:

a) she's already in pre school at the school nursery (so this conversation would have been better had BEFORE she started there...);
b) she would only start in year 1 anyway (which is what our LEA have said - i checked it out).

to me there would be little point, because she'd be starting fresh out the box so to speak a year later than her classmates. this is where it might backfire on her. in my opinion. i think if she was able to start reception a year later then that might be ok, but even then...

as it is she's in school nursery, will start in reception in september having only just turned 4 at the end of this july. i think as well if she was my oldest, i'd have more concerns, but because she sees EVERYTHING her brother does and joins in with him on everything she can i think it'l work out.

Your LEA absolutely can’t say this - it’s not legal.

ememem84 · 09/03/2023 06:43

Gonewiththewind123 · 08/03/2023 20:57

Your LEA absolutely can’t say this - it’s not legal.

Show quote history

If it makes a difference I’m in the Channel Islands not mainland Uk. So our Lea probably works differently.

we don’t get fined for unauthorised absences (that’s another difference) we took the kids out for a month in January so we could travel to nz and Aussie to visit family. 18 days missed. No fines.

ememem84 · 09/03/2023 07:07

Acceptable Reasons my Lea give for delaying are:

extreme prematurity
For a special educational need
as a result of trauma.

Coldilox · 09/03/2023 11:41

Yes we delayed my sons reception start until just after he turned 5 (born late august). He’s now year 3. It was the best decision we ever made for him.

another recommendation for the FB group, so much knowledge on there

Swansong124 · 09/03/2023 17:16

Gooseysgirl · 08/03/2023 04:32

Ok so you will always get people on these threads saying 'my DC is Aug born and was fine/caught up' etc etc. It really depends on the individual child. My daughter's four besties from school are all August born, now in Y6. Two of them are doing great academically, two of them have struggled all along and would have benefitted enormously from an extra year of preschool. My DD is April born and I remember thinking the day she turned four that there was no way she would have been ready for school at that point. If you feel your DC is not likely to be ready, defer.

But you can’t say the reason they are struggling is remotely related to whether they started a year later or not?

annlee3817 · 09/03/2023 17:29

I'm August born and didn't struggle. DD2 is end of August and we are going to just play it by ear, if we think she's ready we'll go for it, if not then we'll possibly defer, but I seem to think you lose the 30 hours free childcare If you defer and keep them in nursery 🤔 anyway, we'll see how we go. DD1 is June born and has been fine without being deferred.

Twizbe · 09/03/2023 17:39

Don't panic yet, he's 18 months and you've got a long way to go yet.

When it's time to apply for schools, ask your LEA what the process is and go from there.

They might also surprise you between now and then. My daughter is just 4 and due to start school in Sept. She is so ready. If she was august born I'd have no issue sending her to school with her cohort.

PetitPorpoise · 09/03/2023 17:45

I didn't and I'm glad. Mine is July born and in Year 1. He's the tallest in his class and one of the stronger readers. He's hitting all of his learning outcomes easily. Year 1 really suited him, more so than Reception, and I think it would have been far too babyish and slow for him now.