Unhappy with y3 class teacher

[notsatisfied]

I've tried looking this up but couldn't find many of you unhappy with the class teacher. DD is in year 3 in a prep school and a quiet girl and I'm utterly unhappy with this person while have been fairly happy about the school itself and past teachers. The school is supposed to provide excellent pastoral care while being a fairly academic prep school.

Trying not to reveal myself I am not able to provide too much details unfortunately but the teacher has been very unhelpful in helping out some of the quieter, disorganized and perhaps less academic girls in class. She's basically classifying them as those who need 'help' and complains about their behaviors. during the short parents meetings, without not much else to speak about their achievements or efforts.

I tried to speak to my DD who has confirmed the teacher hasn't really spoken too much to her about what she needs to do or how she needs to improve. Yet the teacher continues to complain about my DD to us - however there is no concrete or consistent plan or strategy she will try to implement. DH and I spoke to some other parents and a few have experienced the same. Calling parents in to discuss and complain about DD's work or behavior. My child is not perfect but no past teachers have commented on such.

I just think this displays total lack of empathy from the teacher who is not making sufficient efforts to address 'issues' while trying to forward it to each home. Spending 18k+ annually I expect a better, pastoral approach.

This teacher shows some favoritism as well according to DD, there are two 'alpha' girls always getting extra credits and verbal praise to the whole class about their work. Apart from that, she's okay with the children in school, DD hasn't specifically complained about the teaching or anything else.

I can move her to another school but it's a long way until July when the Summer term ends and I would still like to put strong complaints towards the school.
AIBU and how should I address this? I did not grow up in the UK so not sure if this is something most of the people would just put up with.

Many thanks in advance.

You're obviously not clear what the issues are, so insist on another meeting, with the teacher and another. I would guess that the SENCO (special needs coordinator) would be a suitable person to ask to have there, if the school has one.

Teacher being vague, ask to meet and talk about specific action plan maybe 5 points. Also, ask what can be done over the holidays. Follow up with an email to confirm.
Could be a case that some kids being ahead by tutoring for 7+, or have older siblings that done the same topics so they seem more confident in answers etc because they already know it.
Care should be taken with SENCO and if need to make sure it is not a friend or contact of the teacher and truly independent. Also, eye tests and where they sit is important, we found DC had eye issue and need glasses and it didn’t help that DC was placed at the back with 2 of the tallest kids in front. One of DC’s friend had a seat set to the side and needed to look up and twist to see the whiteboard.

Organisational skills tend to be dealt with by teachers in a 'you need to look after your things.' There is no time to run after them. In terms of work presentation. I am sure expectations are laid out most days, repeatedly. Teachers don't often have much to do with children on a one to one basis and tend to hit needs as a catch all
What is good for one, is good for all.

I don't know what issues you are talking about but if it's organisational and presentational....beyond resources to help ..pencil grips, perhaps a half square to capture work a question at a time and making sure there is an extra kit of stuff if she has forgotten, there is really nothing that can be done. And really in most cases constant reminders is all you can expect.

Good teaching isn't always about time with the teacher. They provide the resources, they know what a child needs. If they have them then fine.

The whole point of the thread is that the op doesn’t really know what is lacking in her DD! It’s about how to elicit more info for parents and school to work together.

Is this just one class of 20 in y3? Are there other classes? Is this teacher new? What is she (he?) actually like at teaching? Have they given you progress data? Are you happy with attainment and progress?

I really would not say this is send. So don’t go down SENDCO route. I think you can maybe put suggestions to the teacher. I agree you should not have to and 20 Dc in y3 isn’t the worst teaching job in the world. However try and get to the bottom of why the teacher is negative. Is it concentration? Organisation of materials? Being prompt? Does DD answer questions? Take part in class? Does she disrupt others?

Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water if dd is generally happy. If not, I would consider leaving. Some preps are not that great because some teachers let them down. I don’t see why the teacher cannot work with you over shortcomings. It is pretty poor for a prep. I hate class favourites - definite symptom of poor classroom management.

Maybe nothing is up. If the child is making progress and is happy surely none else matters. People are all different. Some are more organised then others. Some participate in class. Some don't.

If a teacher can't think herself. There is likely little up.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but I don’t think children should be expected to be so independent and left to it at such a young age. I get them being in junior school now and need to grow up, but they certainly need many more years of attention and hand holding with good guidance, that I hoped to get from school as well. It’s a supposedly nurturing school with good pastoral care. In my opinion teacher being busy should not be an excuse for lack of empathy or making efforts to address a gap.

Half way through the year, I can only see from the school report, that attainments have stayed or gone up in some specialist subjects. However progress or efforts were all marked down compared to same time last year (excl. specialist subjects) No changes at home and DD looks to be a lot more independent and confident than she was last year so I am not sure how to rely on the report or interpret this positively.

Certainly have no intentions getting senco involved until I comprehend what the problem is from the class teacher.

Thank you all, all feedback is great food for thought tonight.

Not really sure what the problem is. Children work independently. They have too. They are encouraged to be as independent and organised as they can. They need to be. Even with 20 children in a class, a TA who probably targets the most needy, your child won't get much support one to one.

The whole.point of teaching and modelling is that they can attempt on their own, and if they are completely independent thatbis the best sign.

Hate to say it, but you may just need to encourage your child to be independent and to push themselves.

Do you do everything for them at home? 5hatvis not going to mesh at school.

So they’re 7/8.
I wouldn’t worry about it.

Does the school have a reputation for managing out kids who don't fit a particular mould?

My point is if there is a gap that teacher decided to let home know, at least there should have been some level of support. Or at least depict it in a way so parents aren’t left puzzled what needs to be done to help. Or an plan forward or even suggestions for home. None of these were present since the 2 months it was first flagged to us. Maybe I should have been just straightforward about it to the teacher and say that.

In my eyes DD is growing up with greater independence by day but the teacher does not seem to think so, or think it is enough, so I do need some more context and help from school.

This prep does not manage kids out. I know there are some that get extra support for academic subjects where needed but never heard of managing anybody out..

As a teacher myself - albeit not in a prep school - if I'd said I'd have a think about something and then get back to a parent, I wouldn't mind at all if they were to nudge me, ideally by email so I could give a useful response. Perhaps sending an email along these lines might be a starting point...

Dear Ms Y3 teacher,
Further to you raising concerns about DD's conduct and attention since joining your class, I would be grateful if you would send me an outline of the strategies you would like us to work on with her at home. It would be helpful to understand how you will implement these in class so we can try to mirror that at home.

You mentioned that piano lessons mean she sometimes misses out on important instructions so I have given notice and she will no longer learn the piano. Another issue you mentioned was her organisation. At home, we support her to make sure she has the right kit for each day by reminding her verbally of what to pack, and then overseeing the process. If you feel our approach is preventing her from developing independent organisational skills she needs to feel successful in Y3, please describe the process you would like us to use instead and we will do our best. DD's attention was something else you raised. I will make an appointment to have her eyes tested just to rule that out but again, would be grateful for your advice on how to work on this with her. In the mean time, please would you arrange for DD to sit at the front of the class, on a chair that faces forwards so there are fewer visual distractions between her and you. At home, it feels as though DD has grown in confidence and independence since starting Y3 so I am worried that she appears disorganised and inattentive in class.

I am keen to support DD by implementing your strategies at home ASAP. Please let me know if you would like to talk me through them in person or if you will send them to me by email.

Many thanks,
notsatisfied.

See, this is why so many teachers don't bother to raise concerns about children with parents. I work in a private school and know so many teachers who prefer just to tell parents that their child is amazing and doing really well (even if they're not) as otherwise they get flamed for it. So often, the moment a teacher is honest and raises concerns, they are attacked and blamed.

You keep saying she is academic and the issue is behavioural. If it is not academic why aren't you telling your daughter to behave. If she is merely disorganised get her a notebook and get her to wrote down the things she needs to do if she isn't doing things. She has spoken to you more than once about it. I would expect a parent to help deal with behaviour whereas the teacher would deal with the academic.

It sounds like you don't like her and are going round asking other parents to complain too.
Perhaps do them a favour and find another school and let someone else have the place.

So glad I came away from teaching in fee paying schools - doesn’t matter how much you pay, teaching is teaching whichever way you look at it. You can throw money at all sorts of things, doesn’t make teachers magicians and there are still things you need to do at home to prepare your children.

Wow what a lot of hate. Of course I don’t like the teacher, she complains something about my child too vaguely I cannot understand. I have already explained many times here that I’d love to know what it is I can help my DD with so she can improve.

Maybe I am being vague here in that same way trying not to identify myself and DD.

@SE13Mummy thank you for taking your time to write that up, I still struggle with that subtler nuance people prefer in this country and it is very helpful to know and set the tone to use.

I think most teachers accept that some Dc need constant reminders. They forget things, they don’t settle well in class and can get distracted. Teachers who are confident do mention it to parents so they work together to fix the issues.

I think the letter drafted above is good. (Maybe split the long paragraph into 2). Then you should make an appointment to see her. Try and go through the issues. I do actually think some behaviour traits are a bit difficult to deal with at home because it’s not school. Does she settle for prep?

I also don’t think some teachers get the “nurturing” that parents expect and schools sell an ethos. Sometimes teachers just don’t believe in it. What you should get is advice and guidance snd so should DD. I also think some teachers don’t like Dc much who don’t fall into their narrow expectations. We have all seen this happen, despite the rhetoric given to parents by a school.

The ethos in Y3 seems to have changed. You could, of course, as DD what annoys the teacher! I bet she knows. Then work on it.

Possible ADHD/ADD occurred to me. I think teachers make vague observations but it isnt their job to diagnose. However, it may be helpful if she would give you a steer on whether you should explore this further with some tests/see an Ed Psych. My son, who was diagnosed with ADHD, first had comments about disorganisation, difficulty following multi step instructions in class etc. An occupational therapist helped me compile some checklists for him to try and help him remember things he needed to do. Girls are better at masking ADHD/ADD so it often gets missed or diagnosed later than in boys.

PS I also think how you describe the teacher fits with my experience of on3 or two of the more mediocre teachers in my children’s previous private school who may have been feeling the pressure to perform. If she cant give you specifics or any plan as to how she wants to address any deficiencies she sees (and has been saying similar things about a number of children) it does make me wonder about the teacher. As others have suggested try to get a meeting with her to discuss this further and ask for her suggestions as a starting point.

You have to speak to the Head or deputy head about this

This prep does not manage kids out. I know there are some that get extra support for academic subjects where needed but never heard of managing anybody out.

In fairness, schools whose reputation depends on managing pupils out will also be very careful to ensure that you don't hear about it.

You may need to bear in mind in all your dealings with the school that they very possibly care more about your money than about your daughter. However hard they may try to make it appear otherwise.