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parent bullies

5 replies

ilove8pm · 08/02/2008 10:49

just totally fed up after drop off this morning. recently my ds was bullied (again) by another 5 year old, but as this time it happened out of school there wasnt much we could do except meet with the parents and talk, and we did. since that mtg last thurs, the mum has been having coffees with all the other parents we speak to and spreading nasty stuff about us, trying to blame our ds. although at the mtg last thurs she told us that her dd had confessed it was all down to her and they were very sorry. now from the awful stuff i keep hearing from other parents, there is a bit of a smear campaign against us going on, and, i know this may sound silly, but I am really really upset. maybe no one at gate knows what to believe, but anyway, they are all standing with her, ignoring me, behaving like we are all at school ourselves! normally i like to think i would have thicker skin and shrug off all the nonsense, but with DH away, very upset ds and PND flared up just feels like I cant cope. what shall i do? need to borrow a smidge of courage to go back to the gate later on. anyone got some spare they can lend me please?

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dropscone · 08/02/2008 10:54

You and your son have done nothing wrong . Is there any one in the class you can confide in and chum up with to do the collection ? Be brave .

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Eliza2 · 08/02/2008 10:58

School gates bring out the worst in some mothers, aren't they?

Thinking of you this afternoon. Just try and picture yourself as a great big, cheerful, mother elephant with a thick skin. Nice bright lipstick always helps too. Somehow if you don't let yourself look or feel like a victim it's harder for other people to put you in that position. Try and pretend to yourself that you're just dashing in to pick up because you need to get home to start your exciting weekend.

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ilove8pm · 08/02/2008 11:02

thanks. . Eliza2 just fetching a tube of ultra red lippie from my bag!! dropscone, good plan. thanks x

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toadstool · 08/02/2008 12:52

Hmm, are you sure the other parents believe the stuff you think is being said? And are you 100 percent sure this mum is saying bad stuff over coffee? If so, it must be pretty dull for the other mums, I'd bet they think she's got the problem, not you.
Nothing worse than being the target of local gossip, but a spat between kids, esp very young ones, is unlikely to stay in people's minds for long.
I often think parents are 'ignoring' me, when in fact they're all wrapped up with their lives, kids, and issues.
Big grin, don't quite make eye-contact, if necessary, pretend to be in a rush and wave cheerily at everyone as you walk smartly off.
Usually someone who hasn't been party to any nastiness will smile and say hello, and you'll feel better.
If it's bullying between reception/year one kids, I'd have a chat with the teacher about reinforcing anti-bullying policies. Also there's a good Phonics book DD1 just brought home, "We're not fond of Rat", which should get your LO talking about what may be going on for him.

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scattyspice · 08/02/2008 12:56

Are you sure you're not just imagining it? Its easy to imagine all kinds when you feel a bit low. I'm sure they're not all standing around talking about you.

I find it best to keep out of playgound disputs as much as possible. Let the kids sort it out for themselves (they usually do).