School that went the extra mile and helped build confidence in themselves

[Poseidon54]

I was wondering if anyone living in SW/ central London could recommend a prep or all through school that they felt really went the extra mile to build confidence in more shy and sensitive children. I have a very bright DD (very able academically ) but come drama, sports , any extra curricular she just closes up and fades in the background convinced she’s not good at anything. Her prep is full of outgoing confident types that make it very hard for her to shine at anything which has become clear and the school doesn’t really intervene in any way but her confidence is being chipped away at day by day. Anyone found a gem in london that has put in the extra effort or other tips to help a child like this ? She loves learning is curious and is good at it so SEN specific schools aren’t really the right fit Just one that will help bring the best out in her self belief.

Good luck in your search.
A suggestion is to find clubs outside the school where she meets other kids. Eg, drama, sports, girl guides, ballet, art. There she can shine as you look for another school that is caring to all kids’ personalities. She will increase her group of friends and may find she shines or enjoy something without having to be pushy.

Prep schools are notorious at showcasing their brightest talent and others don’t get much of a look in. Most do this as they are competitive places and competitive parents use these schools. I would find external clubs and try that route. Or even try new hobbies. Not everyone can be all-round glowing at school and sometimes Dc are not great at anything at all. At least yours is able academically. She will undoubtedly be recognised for that unlike many of the others. Sometimes you cannot have it all. Keep praising her for what she is good at and he’ll her to accept that others have different talents.

Thank you all for your responses. We’ve joined a few clubs and it does help but when she’s back at school it feels like such a contrast Hence considering a more permanent move.

Coed schools or single sex? Good school guide may suggest one near you? Or join a school that goes up to 18 so 11+ is less stressful? Maybe ask parents at the clubs outside school what they feel about their schools? What year group since there are 7+, 8+, 10+ or occasional places.

@Poseidon54 I agree all children should be encouraged but many prep schools are about celebrating excellence. No doubt she has sport lessons and can have a go at drama and music. It’s not entirely fair to blame other children for shining at what they can do. Yours shines all the time academically. Is that not good enough?

Dc do have to accept they are not likely to be top at everything and maybe should be pleased for the other dc? Does she expect to be at the forefront everything? As Dc mature, they do understand that their personality might not suit being the star performer in the school play. They quite like a chorus part. They accept being in the third team or not being in any team at all.

Are you really sure another school won’t be exactly the same? State schools tend to be more inclusive.

Thanks for your view but deff not expecting to be the best at everything - it’s more of a culture that has become evident that affects quite a few children and is not healthy. Hopefully being realistic looking for a balance where the best is brought out in each child and pastoral care being at the core of a school rather than a word to throw around.