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Original poster

Paying for private school fees

63 replies

boygirlmom · 22/01/2023 08:18

Curious to know how many on here pay for fees themselves out of salary , or have financial support from schools and grandparents?

We applied for bursary assistance and were told according to our income at the time that full fees were affordable! No bursary offered. We were on a combined of 130k and had two kids we wanted to put through a Surrey school with fees of approx 4K each per term.

That's not affordable of full fees. Don't understand the logic but hey ho! I guess a LOT of sacrifices would need to be made to send them on our salaries!

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AngelsWithSilverWings · 22/01/2023 08:27

Our household income is the same and we pay school fees for DD. In our case we can afford it because we barely have anything left to pay on our mortgage ( we are in our 50s and got on the property ladder when it was affordable)

I think we'd struggle to pay fees for two DC though and luckily DS has been happy at a state grammar school. When DD leaves her private school next year the money will be diverted to getting DS through university. DD won't be going to university so we don't have that extra cost to worry about.

BookwormButNoTime · 22/01/2023 08:33

Pay fees ourselves out of income not much more than yours. We make sacrifices. Stopped overpaying in the mortgage, both drive cars more than 10 years old, scaled back on holidays, stopped eating out other than on special occasions and dipped a little into savings.

At no point did we ever consider asking for financial help as it’s our choice to send them there and we can just about afford it. We couldn’t if the government decides to slap VAT on fees though so are resigned to the fact they would need to leave if that happened.

Perhaps your problem is you could afford it if you really wanted to, you just have a current lifestyle that you don’t want to change?

TheOrigRights · 22/01/2023 08:35

Why will knowing how other people play help your situation?

twistyizzy · 22/01/2023 08:39

That's why a lot of people put kids into state for primary, to save up for fees for indy secondary. That's what we have done, DD starting Yr 7 in September and we have 3 years fees saved up. We also spent the last 5 yeaes over paying the mortgage as once she starts in Sept we wont have the spare cash to do that.
When we started saving we were on combined income 90k and now on 130K. However we will still have to be very careful and frugal over the next 5 yrs as there are all the extras to pay for. I think MOST parents have to adapt their lifestyles to accommodate school fees.
Paying for school fees does take planning unless you are super wealthy.

TheOrigRights · 22/01/2023 08:39

Of course you can afford full fees, but you would have to live in a smaller home, drive more modest cars, have fewer holiday etc.

thirdistheonewiththehairychest · 22/01/2023 08:41

You applied for a bursary on a £130k income??? 😂

Of course it's affordable for you. If you have 2 kids at £4k per term each, that's £32k per year.

That still leaves you with £100k per year which is more than double our joint income.

Leave the bursaries for those that need it.

GoldenGorilla · 22/01/2023 08:49

So your combined take home pay after tax would be about £80k.

If you spend £32k on annual fees, plus a couple of grand for the extras, that’s £34k on school.

You’d still have £46k as a household income, which is well over the average post-tax household income of £31k.

So even taking into account that the south is broadly more expensive, you obviously shouldn’t be getting a bursary.

You can afford to pay. Whether that’s a sensible use of family money or not depends on your options for state schools etc.

NSA2103 · 22/01/2023 09:05

BookwormButNoTime · 22/01/2023 08:33

Pay fees ourselves out of income not much more than yours. We make sacrifices. Stopped overpaying in the mortgage, both drive cars more than 10 years old, scaled back on holidays, stopped eating out other than on special occasions and dipped a little into savings.

At no point did we ever consider asking for financial help as it’s our choice to send them there and we can just about afford it. We couldn’t if the government decides to slap VAT on fees though so are resigned to the fact they would need to leave if that happened.

Perhaps your problem is you could afford it if you really wanted to, you just have a current lifestyle that you don’t want to change?

This.

luckymummy24 · 22/01/2023 09:15

We have 2 kids at private school it’s £7,000 each child a term. Our income is less than OP although it was higher when we started. We have an old car, mostly have a weeks holiday in the uk, very rare meals out and always worry about the next terms fees. We have no family help. This decision has had a major impact on our lives. DH thinks it’s worth it, I don’t but it feels too harsh to remove them because our income has dropped.

luckymummy24 · 22/01/2023 09:17

What I meant to add is those fees will go up.

Another76543 · 22/01/2023 09:18

Assuming a salary of £65k each, you’ll have take home pay of over £46k each (around £93k combined take home a year). £8k a term school fees is £24k. That leaves £69k a year take home pay (almost £6k a month after school fees). Whilst you might not be driving around in flash cars, enjoying multiple holidays etc on that income, it would be “affordable”.

Paq · 22/01/2023 09:19

I assume you have a hefty mortgage or other expenses? Surrey is a pricy part of the country.

In your shoes I would do state for primary school. You don't want to spend 13+ years scrimping. I have one kid in private for secondary and while the sacrifice has been worth it, it gets tedious after a while!

Caps0218 · 22/01/2023 09:22

School fees in London start at 6k in a prep to 8k in secondary.
Our income is similar, and for that reason we decided on only having one child.
this way we can have holidays and not have the financial stress.
2nd child would have been impossible, we would have to probably move out of our area…as we would need a 3 bed, rather than a 2 bed etc…

typopro · 22/01/2023 09:24

We pay the fees ourselves. Chose to wait until secondary level. At no point did we consider a bursary. Why would you even think you would be entitled? Remember that private education is a choice.
Leave the bursary for pupils that really need it.

One of my son's friends tragically lost his father. His mum was struggling to continue to pay fees and ended up successfully applying for a bursary so he could finish his education at the same school. They really needed it

LIZS · 22/01/2023 09:28

Many families pay on less than 130k. Bursary thresholds when we applied for secondary in SE (10 years ago) were around £60k on fees if 14kpa.You need to look at your other outgoings and assets if you can't afford it.

GoldenGorilla · 22/01/2023 09:37

Just to add I used £130k as though it was one salary (in case you’re SAHP) but if you’re both working your take home pay will be even higher.

Original poster
boygirlmom · 22/01/2023 09:39

Thanks for the inputs. Our mortgage is around 1600 and then when you take off loan re payments following our house purchase (furniture!) and pension contributions, the take home pay is reduced further but yes, one would have to make a number of sacrifices to put them through school. In addition, we both support our elderly parents who are disabled and don't have many assets so this cost cannot be relinquished in anyway.

The other thing. Left to look at would be holidays, but sacrificing on travelling is a no no as I can see how our kids have benefitted from it and that's not to say we spend thousands on overseas holidays , travelling once a year is enough for us.

It's just good to know others' perspectives on the matter though so I really do appreciate you taking the time and sharing on here.

Independent for secondary is def on the horizon for us but most in this area are selective so wanted to think about prep from at least Year 3 to help with that. I know schools support a lot in that process.

I guess the alternative is to move eventually to a good state but then again the house prices in the catchments are a lot even for a 3 bed semi which we are in now!

Lots to think about.

OP posts:
Original poster
boygirlmom · 22/01/2023 09:41

Oh and we applied for the bursary as the school bursar encouraged us to when I explained our financial situation at the time which left me wondering why they even advised us to go to the trouble of all those forms and documents if they knew the answer was likely to be a no anyway. Bizarre

OP posts:
Paq · 22/01/2023 09:43

Yeah, that's a lot of outgoings. Honestly, don't stretch yourself for primary, it's a nightmare missing out on stuff for so long to pay for school fees. Use these years to pay down your debts and have lovely holidays etc. with your kids. You really don't know where you will be in life in 5/7 years time.

sopsmum · 22/01/2023 11:07

Similar household income. 2 in senior and fees more like £6k each a term. Of course its affordable. Our mortgage is £2k a month. We don't have cars on finance or anything like that though.

JessieLongleg · 22/01/2023 11:22

"Traveling once a year is good enough for us". Wake up the average salary in London with a family doesn't allow for this. You live in one of the most expensive parts of the country and don't think bursaries or scholarships should take that into consideration. Move to Sudbury you could buy a home and pay the bank off. You sound incredibly ungrateful for the opportunities you have and give to your children.

Paq · 22/01/2023 11:33

JessieLongleg · 22/01/2023 11:22

"Traveling once a year is good enough for us". Wake up the average salary in London with a family doesn't allow for this. You live in one of the most expensive parts of the country and don't think bursaries or scholarships should take that into consideration. Move to Sudbury you could buy a home and pay the bank off. You sound incredibly ungrateful for the opportunities you have and give to your children.

Unnecessarily nasty. Did you miss the part where OP is caring for disabled parents?

Hoppinggreen · 22/01/2023 11:36

We are in Yorkshire and fees are around £10k a year and the extras aren’t too bad. DD had a 25% academic scholarship and DS got a 10% sibling discount, plus there was only 1 year when they were both there.
I easily earn enough to pay school fees so we don’t even need to factor in DH earnings. I doubt we could afford it in Surrey though

ichundich · 22/01/2023 11:43

boygirlmom · 22/01/2023 09:41

Oh and we applied for the bursary as the school bursar encouraged us to when I explained our financial situation at the time which left me wondering why they even advised us to go to the trouble of all those forms and documents if they knew the answer was likely to be a no anyway. Bizarre

They always say that to get your interest; it was the same at our school. I wouldn't even have considered bursary an option if household income is over 40k a year tbh.

BendingSpoons · 22/01/2023 11:43

They will assess for the children 1 at a time e.g. if you are applying for one now and the other in 2 years, they won't worry about the second one yet. Obviously would be different if they are both starting at once.

Yes you are expected to make a lot of sacrifices. Essentially bursaries are paid for by other parents unless the school has a lot of donations from ex pupils. You are perfectly entitled to want a yearly holiday etc but you would be unreasonable to think you should get money off schooling to allow you to. Same with your mortgage, you didn't have to choose a house requiring a large mortgage or need a loan for furniture! (Tbh I don't know why you did on £130k. Most people buy over time as they can afford or use Ikea/Freecycle etc as needed). Again you are free to make these decisions but to then expect to be subsidised on schooling is a bit entitled IMO.

Save the money and tutor for secondary!