DD is 8, Year 4.
She has some SN and a medical condition that means she prefers quieter games with 1-2 others (she isn't autistic but has processing and speech issues, she also has issues with her mobility so doesn't run around like the others do)
This year a new girl joined the class and DD hit it off with her straight away. Then 1 of the other girls in the class fell out with her best friend and sort of latched onto DD and her new friend. They’ve been a 3some ever since.
However every single day at the moment I’m getting “My friends went off to play together and said I couldn’t join” or “I wanted to choose the game but the others didn’t want to let me”.
I know a lot of this is normal for girls and particularly right now as they lost so much due to covid lockdowns.
I’ve encouraged DD to play with others in the class but she says she doesn’t want to as they play running around games or there’s so many of them she loses track. I’ve encouraged her to use her big voice and say “It’s my turn to choose the game as you chose at playtime” or “If I choose now you can choose at lunchtime” but DD says they say they won’t let her choose again or they tell her she’s already had her choice.
I really feel like now might be the time to ask if other friendships can be encouraged as I’m worried this one is knocking DDs confidence. I also know some of it is probably coming from DD as she gets very attached to people and I know that can be suffocating, so encouraging her to play with others won’t necessarily be a bad thing.
I do not want the girls in the group spoken to unless it turns into actual bullying. From what DD has told me it’s 6 of one and half a dozen of the other as I know DD can in herself be controlling and I am only hearing one side of the story, it might be that she has gotten to choose.
So do I go to the teacher? Or just leave it?