How to say no to extra learning support?

[ggmom87]

My year 1 son has been placed in a phonics support group that takes place for an extra half hour after school 3 days a week. It’s meant to last all term. Last year he was told to attend sessions before school, which was a pain but we made it work. But we can’t make this work. We have prior commitments after school that prevent me from letting him stay at school longer. I’m frustrated because I’m happy for him to receive extra support, but not when it’s offered outside school hours. In the email I received they said they “expect him to attend every session”. It’s a little intimidating, and I’m trying to find the best way to approach it with the school. I don’t want to appear disinterested in his education, but we simply cannot commit to this. Has anyone dealt with this before?

Not that it’s entirely relevant, but while my son isn’t a really strong reader, he is reading on level so it’s not like he’s massively struggling. So there’s that too.

I wouldn't worry at all, just explain it to them, they may even find another time to fit it in. I received a similar letter that sounded very strict when my DD was in Y2 that she 'will attend every morning at 8:20am sharp...' I just said it wasn't possible for half the week as she and her siblings went to the childminder so I could get to work, there was no way round it as I dropped them off at 7:45am. The teacher was totally fine and relaxed about it, just a little extra club to offer some extra spelling help, no worries at all. Its just an offer but it's great your school offer it. Maybe they will give you the materials so you can do it at home?

It's none of anyone's business what the commitments are. You're just nosy.

I would love for him to get reading support too. During school hours when it’s actually feasible for our family.

“Unfortunately due to unavoidable prior commitments, DS will be unable to attend.”

I would love if they gave me materials. I’d be very happy to work on it with him at home.

So why are you posting about it?

Thank you. That’s a good idea, I’ll ask about the materials.

Yes, I was hoping to write a book about op's confidential commitments

Why start a thread about it then if the secret commitments make it impossible?. He can't go and that's that. Nothing to be done about it

Schools do not run around your family
They cannot take every single families needs into account
Teachers also have a life
In a world where work is going to be fiercely competitive your child as they all do needs all the help he can get for his future

Perfect, that second half was the advice she needed. And you didn't need to know why. Lovely.

I don’t expect the school to run around my family. Rather, I expect the school to provide an education within school hours. Instead, I get an email on a Friday informing me that my child needs to start staying after school 3 days a week starting the following Monday. My entire life is scheduled and planned around the school day, and I do not have enough support in my life to rearrange my life that quickly.

Schools are damned if they do and damned if they don't aren't they...

Please dont get confused about what schools can do and what they do do

Yes, it is enforceable, no schools probably wont enforce it.

Yes schools can prevent a child being picked up, and yes, they can count it as unauthorised absence which counts towards a court case.

As I said, I have always been open to discussion, but that it because I choose to be. I have worked in schools where after school sessions were routinely enforced, parents denied access to school grounds to collect children, etc. It fit into the culture of that particular school, but it doesn't fit into the culture of where I work now, - however, even there, there are occasions when it is enforced

Schools have the legal right to hold children back. Although most of the time, most wont, if it is against parental wishes

I doubt a child of that age will be taking much in after school anyway.

I definitely wouldn’t be taking this offer up.

That’s shocking. I’d pull my child from that school and register to home ed before allowing them to lock me out of the gates and keep my child after school against my will.

I actually think at this young age making the extra support exclusively available outside of school hours is really poor of the school. As others have said there are many reasons parents can't immediately change plans to support this and the child shouldn't suffer as a result.
My Y1 child gets extra reading and writing support and they fit it around the school day for example in assembly time. This also has issues as my DD doesn't like to miss out but I understand the school has limited options and I wouldn't expect the teachers to be doing teaching outside of the school day.

Surely you just tell them why? Eg I can’t because i have to start work at 5. I can’t because I have another child to pick up and the timing doesn’t work.

Because you aren’t forthcoming with why it sounds suspicious which is why you are getting a hard time on this thread.

Don't sweat it OP. The liklihood is if teachers' own children were offered the same they also wouldn't be able to commit because of childcare. Mind certainly wouldn't and as a teacher if you declined I wouldn't give it a second thought.

I have been in this position. Look up the policies on sen. I am 98% sure that the provision should take place in normal school hours and not deprive them of a play or lunchtime. Child should not be disadvantaged or excluded because of the extra support nor should they feel it is a punishment.

I also question what benefit there is staying behind half an hour after school. IME at that age they have had enough and are not learning ready at all. I have more sympathy for ealry morning sessions.

schools are not good at extra provision - yes they are under pressure and I appreciate that. But you also need to advocate for your child.
so to answer the question- phone them- ask to speak to senco and politely explain this isn’t feasible for you and ask what alternatives they can offer. But do look up the policies first. If dc doesn’t make enough progress look to get him assessed for dyslexia. Don’t swallow any shite about them being dyslexia friendly. They usually aren’t.

some parents do exactly that. Other parents camp outside the gate desperate to get their child in!

I would have been willing to share my personal circumstances in subsequent discussions, but immediately most everyone pounced on me and shamed me. So I no longer feel inclined to present my vulnerabilities and sad life situation so that internet mummy warriors can kick me more while I’m down. No thanks.

I never asked for anyone’s opinion on my circumstances. Thankfully a few people did actually address my question, and I will take their advice and ask for materials I can use with him at home.

Thank you. Good to know.

I’ve said no to an intervention group. It was too much too young, my child didn’t enjoy it and for him there was more danger in being forced to do too much phonics & hating reading. He caught up no problem at all, just wasn’t an early reader/writer.

Have you asked the school why this is not being done during school time? It should be at this age.

My Year 3 child has been having additional support with phonics and reading since Y1 and this is always during the school day.

Currently he has 4 x 20 mins phonics session per week plus daily reading in the class with the TA, in groups of no more than 3-4 pupils.