My 7 year old has no friends

[bec382901]

Hi sorry it’s a long one!
my son started a new school back in may last year, and while it went off to a good start, when they came back after the summer hols he has no friends. He said the other kids say they don’t want to play with him and one boy in particular has been calling him names and pushing him around. I have been talking to his teacher off and on about the issues and she reassured me they do keep an eye on him. My son says he doesn’t play with anyone and sits by himself at lunch time. But he said he doesn’t mind and likes eating on his own. He really doesn’t seem bothered, which weirdly worries me! He goes into school happy and comes out smiling and saying he had a good day. I have to really drag it out of him to tell me some of the stuff that goes on. He’s not a stereotypical boy, he’s not interested in football or play fighting. But he’s in a few clubs, beavers, a drama/dance and swimming club. He enjoys it all but has no close friendships. Unfortunately it was the same situation in the school he went to before we moved. He seems to like the popular boys even though they weren’t kind to him either.
His dad has other children who are older than our one so I know how important friends are when you get to senior school.
Im not sure what else to try!

Does he have friends at Beavers? Ours was in a similar position so we moved him to the school his beaver friends were at. Has been great for him, but no point if he doesn’t have those friendships there either.

My DS was similar in that he didn't want to play football or the other stereotypical boy things. Eventually he found a friend with similar interests to him ( she is a girl but they were both into Minecraft and other things).

Hi

I’m thinking of changing primary school. My 7 year old is in a small primary school one class and there are about 10 boys - he doesn’t seem to have any friends and never invited for play dates. He is not your usual boy in the sense that he’s very chatty. Talked from an early age. He thinks about big ideas , likes board games ,listening to music , utubers - his language skills and interests seem well above his boy peers but not his co ordination / spatial skills, so not interested in football/ Lego . He is very very chatty ( maybe adhd)and also very empathetic . My sense is he doesn’t click with anyone yet? I feel so sad at weekends that he doesn’t have friends his own age to play with. We love spending time with him and is very easy company. I’m sooo bereft though for him. He seems okay but lost? He goes to lots of groups Tennis/ Beavers but hasn’t made friends yet?

shall I move him to a bigger primary school. I’m anxious that he’ll start feeling more alone in Yr 3 onwards

help????

My son is only in yr1 but is quite similar, other than that he’s had his best friend since nursery. I sometimes wonder if they’ve been forced together by not being “football lads” and just not fitting in elsewhere.

Both of them often do potter around on their own quite happily, even though they’ve got that friend, because that’s what their personalities are. If he other is off, they’re both content to play by themselves rather than try to join in with others (possibly due to bad experiences trying).

I just wanted to say that if it wasn’t for this one friendship I firmly believe my son would not have any friends at school and wouldn’t be particularly phased by that either.

If this is the second school with a similar theme, I would wonder whether it’s just the way that your child is?

I have no idea of the likelihood you’ll find the perfect match in another school and whether that’s worth the risk of moving him again.

I recognise this. DS2 (Y2) is currently complaining that the boys play ‘football or rough games’ and that the girls ‘have best friends now and not me because I’m a boy’. My heart breaks a bit for him but, after further questions, it turns out that he is welcome to play but the other children don’t want to play his choice of game. So I have explained that he can either grump about that or find a friend in another class or just join in and he may enjoy it!!