Getting written up in the book shared with parents

[justasking111]

At our primary school in N Wales, from reception onwards any perceived transgression, fidgeting on mat, not listening, running in the corridor's etc is written up in a book for the parents to see. The children are informed that they're being written up and parents will see the book.

This has resulted this week in a child trying to escape again, he got out last month. A little girl who's wetting herself regularly.

Is this normal practice and endorsed, initiated by the education authority, Welsh government?

I know some kids are less sensitive to threats but some are really frightened

Not sure I understand - is this one book that all the parents can see, or is a note made in an individual child's book to inform parents of behaviour?

This is an Individual book created for each child that only the parents concerned see.

Surely it should only be the same as saying “X, you have been very silly on the carpet today and wouldn’t listen, so I’m going to have to tell Mum/Dad/Grandma when they pick you up”?

Are they making a huge deal out of the Book, if that’s what the children are really scared of?
Toilet accidents and attempted escapes happen, of course, but they seem very extreme reactions to parents being informed of minor transgressions,

If “the book” is only for negative things I think that’s awful.

Whilst I agree that sometimes parents need to know things, having “the book”purely as a threat is so negative.

Sometimes there’s small comments about behaviour (good and bad) in our school-home books which are mainly used for reading notes but I’m not aware of these being used as a threat/reward.

Are you saying that a child tried to escape the school because they were scared about things being written about them in their book? And the same for a girl, who has been wetting herself because she is terrified of things being written in the book?

Are these two children both your children?

my DCs’ primary school used to have “the red book”, which is where the head would record misdemeanours for her own record. It inspired fear and awe in the kids. Worked well as a deterrent for vast majority. Though for some braver ones it was a badge of honour !

in your example, School kids need to get used to the idea that behaviour in school will be reported to parents. Both good and bad. It’s sad that the students you’ve mentioned are so stressed by it. Assume parents are doing lots to help them with their resilience, and that they’ve flagged issue to school so that they can help too ? I think it’s standard practice, but that doesn’t mean shouldn’t be adapted to meet those individuals’ needs if absolutely necessary.

I'd be wondering whether home was abusive, if a child is so scared of parents being told about misbehaviour.

It's not a very positive method for encouraging behaviour.

It sounds like behaviour is noted in a contact book. That's very common and a useful tool to communicate both good and bad behaviour to parents.

No they're not my children.

Ah ok but at the school only perceived bad behaviour is recorded in the book that parents receive.

No not abusive homes at all. I guess some children are more sensitive than others.

I wouldn't consider fidgeting on the mat a reason for the teacher to take the parent aside at pickup and hand them the book. Some parents are asking grandparents to pickup the children to dodge this.

@justasking111
Have a look at the behaviour and discipline policies on the school web site. I would be furious at this and dodge the teacher too! Usually parents evening is the time to have a word about this. Not a “naughty book”. I am appalled that this is used in YR!

The school should foster a relationship with parents and of course reporting is part of this. It’s reasonable to ask parents to ask Dc to listen etc. However this book isn’t what I’ve ever seen in behaviour policies. Most of which completely praise good behaviour and have sanctions only for the worst behaviour. The general school ethos is on “golden rules” for example. I would complain about this. Loudly if you cannot find it in the sanctions part of the behaviour policy.

Lastly: schools should explain their policies to children snd their parents. They alone are responsible for the policy and how it’s carried out. I don’t think the Welsh government stipulates a naughty book!

Can't find behaviour policy on the website. Have PM'd you

It maybe different in Wales, ditto Scotland and England. Who knows

@justasking111
This is from the Welsh Government. It should be published. See 7. Usually that means on the web site. See if other schools have published theirs. If there are no policies, I would email the Head and ask for the policies to be sent to you. It’s a legal requirement that they have them.

Agreed. Those are very over the top reactions to parents being informed of their poor behaviour at school.

It sounds like the children are either terrified of how their parents will respond or have no experience with discipline and are reacting poorly, which is all the more reason for the teachers to point out that they are not behaving correctly.

@OverCCCs totally agree that these are over the top behaviours by the children. Although having a book that just addresses naughty behaviour is a bit odd it, the children need to learn to deal with it. Not every policy in a school can be nuanced to certain children’s needs. If the information being passed on to parents is factual I don’t see how anyone can have a complaint about this. Addressing things early in a child’s education rather than once it’s escalates is a good thing. A child that cannot deal with the knowing that their parents find out what they are doing in school needs there own support to overcome this. It feels that behaviour in schools is at an all time low at the moment so anything that helps address this should be seen as a good time. The ks1 children at schools have had a key period of their development stuck at home (covid), not learning correct social skills and consequences for their actions. Schools need to address this so flagging behaviours and children seeing consequences of their actions is surely a good thing.

How do teachers have the time to write all this up?! And then speak to parents because a child was fidgeting?! That in itself would be a full time job!!

It's obviously going on a lot too if parents are actively trying to avoid teachers at pickup time. Usually it's hard to get them for a moment.

Something sounds wrong about this, if only because it's taking so much of the teachers' time and energy.

No school behaviour policy would say that a parent must be informed via a naughty book because a child fidgets in, say YR. It’s ludicrous. I’m assuming older children have chairs.

It sounds totally standard to me. If children misbehave, parents are informed, one way or another, contact book, telephone call, whatever, in every school I have ever been in. If "fidgeting on the mat" was enough to make the teacher spend time and energy recording and informing parents, then I guess it was enough to disrupt the lesson at the time, and needed addressing - or why would the teacher bother?

Parents are avoiding school pick up to avoid being told of their child's misdemeanours? That is not helpful. Really, if the parents wont parent, then it does not bode well for the children at all

Totally agree @Nimbostratus100

Agreed. That’s pretty poor of the parents. They can’t be bothered to take an interest in their children’s behaviour or speaking to the teacher?

Books, if used, should be used to praise as well as blame.

Minor transgressions should not be reported - so not fidgeting but only if repeated fidgeting is disturbing the other children.

Something wrong with parents if children are so worried.

Parents dodging a teacher suggests the teacher is making too much fuss over nothing - they should be standing up and saying that to protect their children.