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Original poster

Bad feeling about supply teacher

119 replies

christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 13:25

I want to start by saying I don't want to be "that parent" but I have some concerns. ds started reception in September. The school is fab and the teachers all seem really amazing. He's very happy there and always excited to go

Yesterday I dropped him off and his normal class teacher was there. However, when he got home he told me his normal teacher had to leave as her baby was poorly (absolutely no issue with this, kids get sick, it's really tough for working parents) and they had a supply teacher for the rest of the day. Ds talked about the teacher, he's 4 so no concept of what makes a good/bad teacher so it was all just general chat about the day. Not one thing he said sat right with me

  • DS was unwell over the weekend with a stomach bug. He last vomited Sunday afternoon so I kept him off Monday and Tuesday due to the 48h rule. Somehow the supply teacher knew he'd been off sick. She told him he was "still poorly" because he had a cough. It's fucking winter, everyone has a cough. I'm not keeping a perfectly healthy 4 year old off school because he coughed a couple of times
  • She told him off for coughing into his hand not his elbow because he "would spread germs". I've made a point during covid not to make ds paranoid about germs and teach hand washing and covering mouth when coughing without putting a negative spin on it. I saw far too many toddlers scared of germs due to lockdown and parents driving the point home too negatively
  • She didn't take her coat off the whole time she was there. I know it's cold but the school is really warm. This one might be petty but it just doesn't sit right with me
  • She sat them all down on the carpet to discuss "things we don't do at school". I appreciate this could have been prompted by poor behaviour, but the normal class teachers have never had to do this sit down chat
  • They spent the afternoon watching Hey Duggee. I'm not against tv in school (I know they watch numberblocks as part of their maths lessons) but it doesn't sound like this was linked to a lesson, just a way for the supply teacher to avoid teaching
  • They weren't allowed to play outside. Reception have their own outside area connected to their classroom and it is normally free flow in and out in the afternoon. They all have coats, waterproof trousers and wellies in school

Obviously I understand the class teacher had to leave suddenly and it's not easy to get a good supply teacher at short notice like this, but not one thing ds told me was (in my eyes) a positive. Would you mention it to the school or just let it go? To be clear, I wouldn't be complaining or anything, just sending an email saying this is what ds told me. The school may not know what she was like or how the day unfolded if no one else was around

Happy to be told it's not a big deal or to not get involved, it's my first term with a child at school and definitely don't want to be difficult but I just felt she wasn't up to the school's normal high standards

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Original poster
christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:00

@Miriam101 this isn't aibu and I didn't ask if I was being unreasonable, off you go back to the bitchy part of mumsnet

OP posts:
Thinkbiglittleone · 08/12/2022 14:01

I do have to say this is a bit OTT and no wonder teachers are on pins a lot of the time.

Nothing of what the supply did would warrant an email.

It's good that she sat the class down to reiterate the rules. She is a new face who they need to listen to and laying that out in a "mat time" discussion is a good way of doing it.

Wearing her coat, I'm not sure what the issue is there for you ?

4 year olds have no real concept of time, so I doubt hey doggie was on all afternoon, probably while the supply got a hand over and settled in to the class.

Our whole school stayed inside today at lunch due to low temperatures and they watched a bit of TV, they will all be fine.

Original poster
christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:02

@SpamIAm I CLEARLY said in my op it's my first term of having a child at school, you're not a genius that you've somehow managed to work out it's my first child. I actually have 3 children but this is my oldest

OP posts:
Ponypitter · 08/12/2022 14:02

I think overreaction OP. I'd leave it. Save your big guns for a big problem otherwise I think the school will be a bit fed up with you.

Pineconederby · 08/12/2022 14:02

Only you know how strong your gut feeling is. When it comes to schools (and I’ve worked in them as well as being a parent), my instincts and gut reactions have always been right. I know my DC. It has sometimes taken a while for the truth to come out.

Balloonsandroses · 08/12/2022 14:03

None of the individual things strikes me as an issue on its own - even reception watching some Hey Duggee in an emergency supply situation near the end of a long term.

Even if it’s all exactly as reported I wouldn’t worry.

Bear in mind every time you complain you take up the time of school staff responding to that complaint and they then can’t do something else - which is absolutely right and proper with important complaints - but do you really want that because someone kept their coat on??

purpleme12 · 08/12/2022 14:03

I don't think it did give a poor impression though OP.
I don't think I could judge her teaching on that information to be honest.
Neither would u judge her on one incident of watching Hey Duggee and one incident of not going outside

Original poster
christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:03

@Bewitched005 I don't have a problem with her knowing he was off sick, I have a problem with her telling him he was poorly because he coughed

OP posts:
Thinkbiglittleone · 08/12/2022 14:05

Oh and the cough thing, the supply is right children should be coughing into their elbows where possible, it was probably a passing comment.

It's a good thing the supply knew your child had been off sick, it may have been "such a such" has a cough we are aware of as he's been off sick. Or keep an extra little eye on "such a such" as they are just getting over a sickness.??

Miriam101 · 08/12/2022 14:05

@christmaslover88 I know it's not AIBU- but you are being unreasonable, and doubly so by calling me "bitchy" when I was just giving you my honest opinion, which is that this would make you look silly and be unhelpful to you - and your child- in the long-run by discrediting you among the teaching staff. But you can choose to take it how you like. Best of luck.

Finaldestitution · 08/12/2022 14:05

To be honest , it does sound a bit like this teacher was babysitting rather than teaching. She perhaps isn’t used to that age group or familiar with the school she was at and was probably just told to keep them all alive and entertained for the day. My friend has a type of anaemia that makes her cold all the time I would think nothing of a teacher - especially a female ( we are more prone to conditions that make us cold) sat in a coat .
i would absolutely think nothing of it though.
DS school in the summer this year the heatwave got too much for them all and they rotated extra swim sessions with water play under the pergola all afternoon and doled out ice pops . I was delighted that they’d had a fun and relaxing day . It won’t affect their university application.
please don’t worry .

Balloonsandroses · 08/12/2022 14:08

Btw coughing into a tissue or your elbow if you don’t have one is part of good hand hygiene (www.northamptongeneral.nhs.uk/News/News-Archive/2015/Prevent-the-spread-of-germs-with-good-hand-hygiene.aspx). Promoting good hand hygiene in a class of four year olds in the middle of a group A strep outbreak (plus all the other winter viruses) sounds a good plan to me.

YouWhatBruv · 08/12/2022 14:09

😂 You're 'that parent'... Nothing you have written about justifies sending an email.

Bronnau · 08/12/2022 14:10

I think that you're being unkind to this teacher, and expecting her to meet your exact standards. And the way that you're reacting to anyone who's disagreeing with you here makes me think that you could never ever cope with the level of criticism you yourself are dishing out.

Original poster
christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:10

Just to clarify, I know he should cough into his elbow. It wasn't about her telling him to cough into his elbow not his hand. It was the stuff about "spreading germs" I felt wasn't necessary. I don't want him thinking it's his fault if one of his friends gets sick or something

OP posts:
LargeglassofRosePlease · 08/12/2022 14:11

In the nicest possible way… you need to take a large chill pill.
And this is the eldest of three?

Yep… you have many years of primary school with your children ahead of you and you most definitely need to chill out if this has rattled you.

Balloonsandroses · 08/12/2022 14:12

@christmaslover88 but it’s to avoid spreading germs that he should cough into his elbow surely? Isn’t it a good thing that she’s explaining things to him?

Original poster
christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:13

@Miriam101 I've already acknowledged that I'm being ott but I didn't ask if I was being unreasonable or post on that board. I also didn't call your comments bitchy, I merely stated that aibu is a bitchy area of mn. If you took that as a dig at you either your reading comprehension is poor or you have a subconscious belief that your comments were bitchy.

OP posts:
Redebs · 08/12/2022 14:14

As a mum with three children under 5, I'm guessing you're a bit stressed and probably sleep-deprived?
I don't want to be patronising in assuming that, but your complaints about the teacher are actually really unreasonable and maybe that's the reason?
Try to get on the same side as the professionals caring for your child; try to appreciate that they want the best for him. And trust them a bit more.

Thinkbiglittleone · 08/12/2022 14:15

It was the stuff about "spreading germs" I felt wasn't necessary. I don't want him thinking it's his fault if one of his friends gets sick or something

But it's a good thing that your child learns about spreading germs and the outcome of that and thinking of others etc, they will have done it in a nice way, just as a reminder, it's not about blame and they won't have framed it like that, so please don't worry about that.

Miriam101 · 08/12/2022 14:15

@christmaslover88 wow, ok. All I did was have a little chuckle at it not "sitting right" with you that his teacher kept her coat on. Which I still don't understand! But, anyway...

KittyMcKitty · 08/12/2022 14:15

christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:10

Just to clarify, I know he should cough into his elbow. It wasn't about her telling him to cough into his elbow not his hand. It was the stuff about "spreading germs" I felt wasn't necessary. I don't want him thinking it's his fault if one of his friends gets sick or something

But it’s cause and effect - you cough into your elbow to minimise spreading germs - surely you explain to your child why he should do things or else it’s just giving meaningless orders?

getting supply in an afternoon at the moment is nothing short of a miracle. I’m in a secondary school but it is the responsibility of the school to supply the work / plan as to what to do so I guess it’s the same at primary so surely your gripe is with the school and not the supply teacher.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/12/2022 14:17

Even if everything happened exactly as your 4 year old described you are over thinking it. None if it would concern me for a day or two.

Original poster
christmaslover88 · 08/12/2022 14:17

@Bronnau well I've been called a "fucking nutter" on this thread. I wouldn't be calling the teacher a "fucking nutter" so I'm not sure how polite you expect me to be to people who say things like that to me?

I'm genuinely appreciative of the people who've responded without resorting to personal attacks or nastiness. I appreciate I'm being ott and won't be contacting the school. I also presume whoever was covering won't normally be called upon as I appreciate it was a very last minute situation and a few posters have pointed out it may not even be an actual supply teacher. He's had other supply teachers with more notice in the past and has never said anything about them that bothered me so hopefully this is a one off

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfSleep · 08/12/2022 14:19

Hopefully what was a "one off" OP? Nothing happened to be concerned about. You are already that parent and I wish your son's teachers and school luck.