Daughter in reception class suddenly shy

[CloseYourMouthLynn]

Hi,

Hoping someone may have a similar experience and can advise! My daughter is nearly 5 and started reception this year. She was so excited to join, she always loved nursery/pre school and is a very sociable and confident child. She has made some friends in her class.
At the first parents evening the teacher said she was well behaved, enthusiastic and asked/answered questions and was basically a teachers dream.
However, since going back after half term things have changed. She has never been given star of the week (seems to just go to the same kids on rotation), she has been moved from the front to the back of the floor and the supposed naughtier children are now at the front, and she now says she is too shy to ask questions. Then yesterday her teacher came out and announced that every child has a line in the school play, but my daughter doesn't. When asked apparently she said she's too shy, so she's barely even in it and will be silent. At pre school she was happy to sing out loud and be in things.
I am in no means pushy, I just want her to be happy and it makes me sad to see my little girls confidence be knocked and feel like she's being let down

She is not shy in any other setting and I feel like because she's no trouble and is a good kid she's getting left behind and is losing confidence as a result. I'm trying to schedule a meeting with her teacher but wondered if anyone had similar experience.

Thanks if you read this far!

I had a similar thing happen to my daughter.
She was a confident, happy, friendly child, always smiling and answering questions , she was a good kid, she had a very happy personality and was very likeable.
Then became so quiet she hardly spoke, I was really worried, I thought something had happened that scared her or made her sad and withdrawn. She would still be herself at home but gradually got quieter there too.
I spoke to her teacher and she said how well my daughter had adapted to school and that she was so polite and well behaved now. I found out from another teacher that that teacher really favoured the quiet children, she rewarded the shy ones and the ones whe sat still and were nervous and children like my daughter were reminded to "be more like their good friends" when they were chatty.

It was so sad, I think she learnt the only way to be good was to be timid and shy and everything else was "naughty". It took the end of year 1 for her old personality to start coming back. That teacher commented on how lovely it was to see her coming out of her shell and that she was such a friendly and happy child "now that she is getting more confident".

Shes much older now and I'm still annoyed at how much that reception teacher ruined her confidence and I wish I knew about it sooner and I might have moved her. I did't send her siblings there as I did'nt want the same thing to happen to them.

Speak to the teacher and see what she says.

I think some things you are worrying about unnecessarily though. "She's never been given star of the week". She's been there what, 9 weeks? Two thirds of the class won't have been given star of the week.

It sounds as though the information about the Christmas play has come to you from someone else so you also need to get that straight before starting to worry about it.

Lots of kids get a bit quiet and shy after they first start school but generally they find their feet after a term or two and settle in well. I wouldn't worry overly at the moment.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to your daughter, I'm glad she came out the other side but bad that happened to her in the first place.

I just want to nip this in the bud because I don't want my daughter to feel worried or anxious or feel like the way she is is wrong. She's such a good kid and even a tiny bit of praise from her teacher would mean the world to her and bring her back out of her shell. At her school it seems that the naughty kids are given all the attention and rewarded while the good kids who are no trouble are shoved to the back and left to get on with it and are encouraged not to make a fuss.

Me and my husband were both good kids who were largely forgotten at school and it's only as adults that we got confident. I want better for her.

@DontMakeMeShushYou the information about the school play came directly from the teacher

OK. The use of the word "apparently" ("When asked apparently she said") implied that you were not present when the teacher said it. I assumed you meant that someone else had heard the teacher and reported the conversation to you.

You need to stop focusing on other children and talk to the teacher about how best to help her develop. She may always be on the quieter side and that’s fine too.

is the no speaking part her saying she doesn’t want one or the teacher deciding? Are you sure every other child has a line as that’s not normally the case with reception.

Yes every other child, the teacher said yesterday at the end of the day that every child has a line and the details were in their bag, there wasn't one in my daughters, when I asked her why she said she doesn't have a line as she's the angel who doesn't say anything and seemed quite upset when she told me. I am not going to have a go at the teacher or anything barmy, I just want her to keep an eye on her and discuss how we can help her at school and home. I appreciate the teacher has loads of kids to deal with, more than in her former pre school setting, where she probably got more one-on-one attention.
Perhaps I'm being oversensitive but she's a good kid, my kid, and was so enthusiastic about school but she seems to be withdrawing. She has never been on the quieter side in any other setting and I don't want her to feel like she can't tell us and the teachers things that are bothering her.

Wait, which is it? The teacher actually said she was too shy and barely in it, or was it your 4/5 year old DD telling you what the teacher said? Because it sounds like the latter now. When I asked earlier whether the information about what the teacher had said came from someone else I was thinking perhaps it had come from another adult who'd picked your kid up. If what the teacher said has come via a 4/5 year old then I was right the first time and you really need to check it out before worrying about it.