Repeated fixed term exclusions - what now?

[Runoverbyllamas]

Sorry for the essay, I could really do with some advice if anyone has it to offer!

Ds is 9, in year 5 at a state primary.
He was put on the SEN register in year 3 and has been waiting for a camhs or community paeds appointment since the start of year 4 when it was becoming clear that he has adhd/autism/possible PDA. So we’ve been waiting a year now. School referred as did our GP. I contacted the team on the referral letters back in the spring as we’d heard nothing and was told the referral had been accepted, he was on the waiting list, and to keep waiting.
We were willing to go private for assessment but the centre near us has closed its waiting list to new children as they were inundated.
Meanwhile he has been excluded at least once a term for ‘persistent disruptive behaviour’ which seems to involve angry outbursts, refusing to do his work, tearing up his work, throwing toys, running away from staff and trying to climb fences out of school.

Between the senco, Head and myself we have tried all sorts of strategies to help, but patience is wearing thin and we’re running out of ideas. It’s escalating such that he’s been off at least half of every week since half term. I have had to give up my locum work during the week as ds is constantly being sent home, phone calls, emails, things I cannot attend to if I’m working. DH earns more so this is the best option right now. After some discussion school have agreed to refer for an EHCP assessment but our LA (Oxfordshire) is notorious for refusing them all and I’m not sure how long that all would take anyway.

DS is a clever child, very able academically, it’s the behaviour aspect that is the problem. He just completely loses control over his triggers (noise, smells, sensation of clothing, other kids being unkind, demands of the classroom).
At home he does his work without much complaint with me, it’s quiet and safe so I get why this is the case. He doesn’t appear to be anxious around school, has plenty of friends, is generous and kind to people in general, just not teachers.

I can tell that school are basically getting to the end of their tether with it all and so I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to do now for the best. Do I keep sending him back in (he always goes willingly) only to wait for the inevitable phone call and removal? Is it better to let them follow the legal procedure if they do permanently exclude and make it the LAs problem? If I choose to remove him then the possible EHCP is lost and I would hope in time that he can attend secondary school. I’m willing to homeschool for primary if it came to it but beyond that?
Would it be more detrimental to have a permanent exclusion on his record?

The other issue is that we live in the village where he goes to school, the next nearest school is over 3 miles away. I don’t know what would happen around transport if the LA is involved. If I choose to move him I would need to deal with that myself.

Basically I’m just a bit lost right now. He’s the loveliest boy with such a big heart and so much potential. I just don’t know what to do for the best. It feels like he’s slipping through the cracks in the system and it’s just an endless waiting game. Any thoughts or advice on what to do next are very welcome.

Whatever you do don’t deregister DS. Parents find it easier to get support when on a school’s roll even if they aren’t attending. Bluntly you are someone’s problem whereas if you deregister it is too easy for others to brush needs under the carpet and say you are making suitable alternative arrangements. Although if you do decide to EHE you can still apply for an EHCP.

Are all the exclusions formal exclusions? Suspensions and permanent exclusion would provide evidence of DS’s unmet need for an EHCP, so don’t be too worried about them. Keep a count of how many days DS has been suspended for as there is a maximum of 45 days pupils can be suspended for in one academic year.

If you did feel DS is unable to attend school the LA should provide alternative provision once it becomes clear DS will miss 15 days.

If you don’t have to appeal, which I appreciate many do, the EHCP process takes 20 weeks. In the meantime if the school require more funding to provide support they can apply for high needs top up funding.

Are you receiving DLA for DS?

I meant to say you might want to ask MNHQ to move this to the SN boards.

Thank you for your thoughts. You’ve put what I was thinking about keeping him registered as it affects other people perfectly. I don’t want to think of him as a problem but it would be too easy to hide away and be forgotten about, I see that.

All the exclusions are formal, yes. I have all the paperwork and will keep tabs on the figures.
I have no idea about DLA, it’s only been in the last few weeks that the number of exclusions has escalated and I’ve basically not taken on extra shifts at work during the week. I am contracted for weekends which is fine, DH is here. I don’t know if the unpredictable nature of the problems would make ds eligible? Previous years have been exclusions once a term or so. I will look into it anyway.

I just wish something concrete would happen. This endless waiting is soul destroying.

Do apply for DLA. I bet you do more than you realise. Use the Cerebra guide to help you.

Re transport I guess it varies by LA but fyi ours will provide it based on need (of the child not parent), but broadly if >2 miles safe walk for an under 8 year old, >3 for 8+. I didn’t think there was a distinction here between moving them voluntarily or them being excluded though, I must check too!

Hi, just reading your message and wonder how you and your son are getting on? Our current situation sounds very similar. The constant phone calls from school are so hard aren’t they? I’m afraid I’ve got no advice to give, but sending thoughts as I know what a tough spot you’ve been in/are in.