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Friendships

2 replies

Chocolateyshakes · 23/11/2022 14:28

DD is 4 and started school in September. From her nursery there were 12 other children starting at the school, 8 in her class.

Since starting school in September, DD has been coming home feeling upset. One of the girls in the class who she was at nursery with, is very dominant and is not allowing DD to play or talk to other children. This LG also talks over DD. Yesterday DD came out of the classroom in tears because the LG was having a play date with another child at her house, but DD said why was she allowed to have a play date when she had told DD that she couldn't be friends with her.

I totally get that friendships at this age are fickle. However, DD hasn't made any friends since starting school because every time another child approaches her, this other LG tells them to go away because DD is her friend only. This doesn't sit well with DD (or me) who has said that she is fed up with it and doesn't want to be this LG friend anymore.

The teacher is aware of the dynamics and is doing everything to nurture other friendships within the class and we have been told that we should encourage a friendship with one particular child in the class who she perceives DD to have a lot in common with and academically are at the same level.

They do mix the classes up again in Y1 and I get the impression from the teacher this will be in the best interests of both, but in the meantime how can I get DD to school in the morning and for her to stop feeling so sad?

Do I just leave it for the teacher to sort out and organise play dates with other children from her class? (I don't really know any of the parents to ask!)

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Mumdidi · 23/02/2023 15:43

Hi @Chocolateyshakes I just posted a thread around a similar topic of 4 year olds and friendships.

How is your daughter doing now? I'd love to hear what may have helped your girl.

My 4 year old daughter is also getting upset wrt friendships at school. She wants to play with a group of girls (3 girls) who don't let her play with them. She comes home upset quite often and tells me that they said No. Her teacher said that she is encouraging the girls to play with everyone. And today I've asked her to support my daughter a bit more. My husband says I should arrange 1-1 playdates with those girls but I feel their mums encourage the tight friendship they have.

Let me know if you have any tips.

Chocolateyshakes · 24/02/2023 14:37

I'll come back to this later when I have more time, but we have made a formal request that for Y1 DD is separated into the other class. We are going to reiterate the message again at parents evening. We also have play dates with other children lined up - I found parties have helped with this too.

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