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Primary education

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Best way to approach school re. Boy's behaviour y3

5 replies

Carouselfish · 21/11/2022 19:35

My dd aged 7 has been one of several chatty girls in her class who have been moved around the classroom about 5 times in the last 3 weeks in an attempt to cut the chat.
She now finds herself in the front row next to a recent addition to the class. I saw this boy for the first time on pick up today without knowing who he was. He was yelling angrily out of the door for his mum who wasnt there yet, he then barged past the teacher and wandered off in the playground on his own in the pouring rain. Teacher gave chase.
Asked dd about him, whe said thats who she sits by now. Asked what he was like. She said he is always singing rude rhymes to her and distracting her. She wrote down what hed been singing as was too embarrassed to repeat. To paraphrase it was about a finger up his ass and his balls in a tin. Silly but also massively inappropriate.
I wondered how the teacher hadnt heard as in front row. She said he leans sideways towards her grinning and says it in, not a whisper, but so the teacher cant hear. She said he grins about it and her and her friend laugh in an embarrassed way. She says he does it a lot.
So. Im going to email the school. I dont think dd should have to put up with that. What do you think my approach should be? Not to drip feed but two families I was friends with left last year due to unresolved bullying in this class, luckily that class has moved on (it's 2 years per class), but I already a bit up in arms because of this.

OP posts:
ReadtheReviews · 21/11/2022 19:41

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Bootoagoose123 · 21/11/2022 19:41

Teacher here- if you can, please go and talk to your child's teacher rather than email. Of course she shouldn't have to put up with this, so you need to work out a plan with the teacher for how she can let her know (subtly if necessary) that he is behaving this way, or if he can be moved elsewhere. Its easier as a teacher to have that discussion in person with parents and not have to give a response in writing (a lot of the time we arent allowed to discuss other children over email), so if you feel comfortable doing so, give them a chance to discuss it with you and let you know how they will deal with it.

Carouselfish · 05/01/2023 09:10

Just posting again - update - she was moved seats. Two weeks later, back by him again. Same things happening. Went in again. Head not aware seating changed. Moved her three seats away. (She's now often sitting alone the whole day). Assured all sorted. First day back, he seeks her out in assembly, although not allowed to sit by her, does so and says inappropriate things again. She tells the teacher and he's threatened with everything under the sun.
Now, clearly, threats don't work as he's been brought before the head a couple of times, lost play etc and is now actively trying to do it - it's become fun for him. She's also just told me he now sits between two other girls, right in front of teacher and is constantly saying sexual stuff to them but the teacher says nothing.
I'm about to email, just to log the fact nobody aware in assembly. But really, I don't have any faith in them. How do they not have regular staff meetings where you'd presume the boy might be mentioned - hey, keep these two separate.

OP posts:
PAFMO · 05/01/2023 09:16

Keep pushing.
Double standards on MN are bad enough- boys are "being boys" when they are violent towards other children and parents find it hilarious when children get their arses out, fart and say fuck. (thread last week had parent filming her daughter saying "fuck off" and sending it to the child's father.) According to many it's normal. It isn't, and nor is the sexual harassment your daughter is suffering. But while parental attitudes are like this, schools face an increasing amount of this behavior.
I'm deputy safeguarding lead at school- ask for a meeting with the safeguarding lead and the head. Good luck.

caramac04 · 05/01/2023 09:51

Definitely get an electronic trail of your concerns. Your dd and other pupils should not be subjected to this.
I would also be concerned about what/how the boy is accessing re sexual comments.

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