Can't decide between local state or private option!

[KindergartenCop]

Hi all, my DS is due to start in reception next September and I'm finding the whole process so stressful! I've really enjoyed visiting the schools, I just feel this pressure to get it right and I'm not sure what that is. Completely new to all of this, so would really appreciate anyone's view :)

So I've narrowed it down to two options. One is a state schools that's a 10min walk from our house. I got a really great feeling from it, but it is large with a three form intake and generally about 25-30 kids in each class. It's also split into infant and junior sites, and whilst the junior school is right next door, I don't really know what that school is like and if it would give me the same good feeling as the infant school.

We then have a private option, which is also very close by and walking distance. It's affordable, even if we end up having a second child where they'd also have to attend. The hope would be that DS would then get into the local grammar (assuming he'd want to go there of course!).

What worries me about the private option is even though I really loved it and got a great feeling from it almost straight away, I worry that small class sizes could potentially limit social development? Last year there were about 12 in the reception class. It's never more than 18. I'd be happy with 18, but I'm worried I'll send him there and there'll be like 10 kids and he might not like them! And he might grow up in a bit of a bubble! At least at the state option he has potentially 29 other children to make friends with!

But from an education point of view, the private option is excellent and the small class sizes are obviously great for teachers getting to know their students.

Sorry for the brain dump there...I'd just appreciate some views if any one is willing to share...I go back and forth with the pros and cons for both!

Thanks

If you can’t afford private primary and secondary, but can afford one or the other, I would save your money for secondary. Or save it for if you aren’t happy with the state primary.

The state option sounds good and I too would be concerned by such small classes especially if that’s the whole year. Not just for friendship reasons but also it will limit what the school can offer if there aren’t many sets of fees coming in.

Sorry I mean I would be concerned by the small class sizes at the private,

State till 8 is a good rule of thumb. Local infants for now and look to go private from y3-y6.

Private at Secondary rather than primary if you have to choose

The decision isnt forever, there are some natural points to move from one school to another.

The class size depends on your childs personality and a bit luck of the draw.

A big state primary every time. Big means more resources, more classes means more options. And 10 mins away is perfect.

We opted for State Primary and Private Secondary as we had a good State option for Primary. I don’t think it’s really necessary to pay for Private Primary in those circumstances.
Save your money for Secondary in case they don’t get into the Grammar.
My dc slotted easily into Private Secondary in Y7. There was no knowledge gap and in many ways they were much more mature and streetwise than a lot of their peers who had been to the Prep.

I would definitely take the state primary.
With the private option, what’s the boy-girl ratio? Whereas it might not matter so much at age four, it might later if there are, say, nine girls and only three boys in reception. And those three boys are into art and Lego when yours wants to play ball games, etc.

As PP pointed out I would be concerned about boy/girl mix with such small class sizes. If you end up with only 3 boys at some point that could be a problem.
The other thing to consider is the geographical spread of the children who attend. When they're very young it's good to have local friends they can easily play with. With private you run the risk their best friend lives a 40 min drive away!

Personally if the local state primary is good then I'd go for that every time and make the move to private for upper primary and/or secondary.

Can you arrange to visit the junior school? They might or might not be happy to facilitate this, but I don't think it would be unreasonable to try, and might help you to come to a decision.

Depending on where you live you might well have to have your child tutored to pass the 11 plus if they're not at prep school. Being naturally bright isn't enough when all the other naturally bright kids have been prepped since they were 5 or done years of after school tuition. It's what is putting me off state primary. Yes it is cheaper, but I don't really want my kids to have to do loads of after school tuition if I can help it.

This is a really important point if you have your heart set on grammar. Of course the level of competition depends on your local population but for areas similar to where I am, state and tutoring just doesn’t compare to those who are prepped from 5/6 years in school. I find a lot on MN talk about state til 8/good primary plus lots of extra tutoring/bright children will get in regardless as the solution. I have no doubt it does work in many areas up and down the country but it wouldn’t where I am so look at your area carefully.

Equally look at your local preps statistics for onward destinations. Where do they all go? How many get grammar places? Do they all have tutoring on top of school?

The point about small class sizes and bubbles are valid ones too but the same way you can supplement state with tutoring, prep background can be supplemented with other activities that broaden their social circles outside school.

How well does your state primary do at getting kids into the grammar school? If that’s what you want, that’s the key question.

If you can only afford primary or secondary fees, generally it’s best to prioritise the latter, because your children may not get in to a grammar or not be suited to it. (I don’t just mean not bright enough, they don’t suit all bright kids.)

Your child won’t be socially limited by small classes at primary age. It’s just a different kind of social skill - if there are only 10 kids in the class then you have to get on with them all, and that’s a good skill to build.

I have had the experience of a very small private school with an imbalance of sexes and it made friendship groups a nightmare. We moved our child to a large 4/5 form entry state primary and they absolutely thrived. They were rather quirky which is why I chose the small private in the first place... but actually there were just not enough children for them to make friends with the same interests. They still got into a selective private secondary, but we actually continued in state.

I'd go for the state option. I would be worried about class size being too small in terms of friendships. I also agree with a pp that the boy/girl ratio is important. My DD was in a state primary with 30 kids in the class, but only 9 were girls. A small friendship pool can be a nightmare if your child doesn't gel with them.

Mine went private all through however didn't have the state option you have. I would go state in your position. Once you're in the private bubble it's hard to leave and be mindful that if you change your mind you may not get a place at the state school.

Be aware also that if you have a good state secondary and a bright motivated child you may be better picking it. Currently unis are offering contextual offers for a lot of state schools and prioritising state school students.

Small classes in private schools mean more individual attention. Also a state primary won't do the prep needed to pass exams for grammar school and usually tuition is needed. It's not just the knowledge base, but exam and interview technique that children have to be aware of.

Go state if youre prepared to do the following:
Prep your DC for grammar school and enrich their learning in your time, because the state primary wont do that.

Smaller classes is ALWAYS better than 30 in a class, IMHO, it matters if your DC needs extra attention and the teacher and often non-existent TA are doing crowd control, extra attention if their bright or falling behind, but not being disruptive.

Over the next two years, schools budgets are going to get thrashed, regardless of what C Hunt is promising , TA's getting let go, school budgets slashed because of fuel bills and budget cuts. Ten years ago I would have picked state primary over prep, not now.

Its too unstable. The private will protect your DC from that because they can afford to.

Secondly the private is likely to have superior facilities and a much wider range of after school activities. Mine were doing Yoga, Gymnastics, French, having proper Music lesssons, access to computer labs and daily access to a huge library. Lots of school trips and weekly swimming classes, weekly Forest school , all in reception. My local 'outstanding' primary didn't even have a library!

Of course , as other posters have said, you can go state primary and still get DC into any school from Eton to the local grammar and everything in between, you pay for prep because it gives you extras you don't get in state, that's all. For us the extra's were worth it.

I never forget touring a state primary, 30 in the class, no TA and a girl in the back, head down on desk asleep. Because they weren't disrupting the class, completely ignored. That never happens in a small class.

Does the state school do prep for 11+? We're in a grammar area in Yorkshire and the local state schools do prep for the entrance exam (only for kids they are interested/put forwards and it is after school) but worth exploring.

In your situation I'd go state, though as a disclaimer I did move my ds from a 3 class intake after reception as I felt it was too big (among other reasons) but the intake at the private school feels too low. Good luck with your choice .

Also worth thinking about enrichment activities - my kids state school do loads of enrichment activities and they do a few but both like doing external clubs due to having other groups of friends. If there are only 10-15 in the class, and then all their enrichment clubs come through school too that's a quite a small pool of friends and limiting in terms of their life experience.

My DD is in a class of 11, but a year of 22 for reception. By the time they get to year 3, it practically doubled and by year 5, they have 4 classes of 18.
If you can afford for two to go all the way through so 14 years, go with private.

Yes totally agree. I'm not sure that private schools having lots of extra-curricular activities really is a plus. Yes, it's convenient, particularly if the child has two full time working parents, but there are huge benefits from doing activities out of school and mixing with different children and experiencing different teachers and ways of doing things.

I don’t think that’s true about unis prioritising state schools, or offering contextual offers - not in general. Contextual offers are a thing but only for those living in “deprived” post codes. And the majority of those looking at private schools will not be living in those. The fact that you live in a rougher area of Lambeth or Southwark doesn’t necessarily make you a candidate for a contextual offer. My DC are through the process now, and all I can say is I wish I hadn’t fretted so much.

Contextual offers are just that, so your parents occupation and education, if you went to school in a deprived area, recognised as one, and if the OP sends to state primary and goes onto grammar, thats pretty irrelevant anyway for some percieved advantage.

The whole point of contextual offers is to not to judge a barristers son at Harrow whose family have a huge home in Bucks, the same as the postman's son at a needs improving comp in a deprived postcode, that's all.

Trying to game the system is pointless.

I have twins in a y1 private school class of 8 (we make up a quarter of the class) - and our experience has been lovely. As another poster mentioned , all the kids play with all the kids- they might not have a lot of natural common interests with some in the class, but are learning the skill of making connections regardless which I think is valuable. It has also pulled my girls into interests they might not have naturally gravitated towards. At our school class sizes grow each year, so my y5 there will be enough for 2 classes of ~15.

there are pros and cons to each, and at the beginning I probably would have said a larger school was better for one of my girls. That said, when issues arose (nd traits in DD1 was anticipated, reading difficulties with DD2 were a surprise) the private school was able to quickly marshal resources and deliver personalised interventions