Anyone else finding choosing a primary school for their 4 year old overwhelming?

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Just had a tour around our 4th primary school (and last of our options) for DD4 who is off to reception in September 2023 and I feel so overwhelmed at having to make a decision on somewhere that she will be likely attending for 7 years.

I'm spoilt for choice really as have 4 good and 1 outstanding primary that she is highly likely to get into but i just feel so overwhelmed and anxious about the whole decision. My husband and I were hoping that there would be a clear front runner in terms of feel and facilities but I'm just so confused and don't know which to go for, options are as follows:

School one: Small village school with good ofsted, literally next door to our house, intake of 15 ( but currently only 8 in reception, and mixed classed of 2 years after reception) limited facilities and extra opportunities, although they are expanding these. Got a nice feel for it and very tailored towards individual children due to size.

School 2: Large Village school (5 minute drive, but on way to DS's nursery) good ofsted, intake of 30 and single year classes. Better facilities e.g. science lab, music room and more extra clubs and opportunities such as learning instrument etc. Lovely feel to it, with children confident to answer our questions and explain what they were doing in the classroom.

School 3: Large village school (8 minute drive, also on route to nursery) good ofsted, intake of 23, Reception is with pre-school and then single year groups after this, reasonable facilities, but executive head seemed very corporate and just didn't get a nice vibe, although friends whose kids are there like the school but not the executive head.

School 4: Small village school with outstanding ofsted (but not a recent one) 6 minute drive in opposite direction to nursery but on the way to work. Single year groups but limited facilities, however some additional extracurricular clubs and activities.

Leaning towards 2, 1 and then 4 but not sure whether i should be putting more weight to the facilities and opportunities available to my DD or the general feel and vibe that i got!

Anyone else in a similar position or anyone got any advice on what they would do or how they chose a school for reception?? Just feel that so much is riding on this and its making me feel so anxious and unable to see the wood for the trees so to speak!

School 2 sounds best. I’m wary of very small classes in terms of friendships.

Do you need wraparound care? Do any of them offer this?

I wouldn't pick an Outstanding one personally, as in my experience schools often drop their standard after receiving the Outstanding because they believe they're doing so well. If they're at a Good level, they're keeping up the work. Purely my experience as a parent and working in a school.

I'd choose the smallest class size school!

2 sounds by far the best. I don’t like mixed years if it’s avoidable.

I would go for school 2 from what you said. Sounds like it has better facilities and I agree with being wary of small classes as they are limited with friendship groups.

I would go for option 2.

I wouldn't pick 1 for social reasons. Your dd could end up being the only girl, not getting along with the only other girl or the other 2 girls being best friends already etc

School 2 sounds great imo.

Another one for No2! I'd steer clear of v small class sizes as friendships could be quite limited and it could be quite claustrophobic socially for you too just with the same tiny number of parents and kids for years and years! No2 seems to tick all your boxes.

I would worry about long term prospects of school 1... especially if the other local schools have space.

School 2 sounds good

3&4 sound ok.

Id put 2, 4 and then 1 (which I'm presuming is your catchment school?)

You should always put your catchment school as one of the three, just so you don't end up somewhere random if the schools you do apply for are oversubscribed. Although this sounds very unlikely in your case.

Normally I'd say don't underestimate the value of being able to walk to school, but on the face of it school 2 sounds much better than school 1. The only thing that would make me hesitate is if every other child in your village goes to school 1 she may resent not having local friends.

I think your gut is right. 2, 1, 4.

These are all really helpful replies so thank you!
Hadn't really considered the small class sizes affecting friendships so that's been really useful. Also luckily we know our neighbours and their kids fairly well and a lot of them go further afield than school 1 so hopefully that won't cause any resentment there

We're in a similar position. DD is starting school next September and we have 4 schools within a 10 minute walk (5 really, but 1 is catholic and we aren't). All are two class intakes, good Ofsted, and I don't know how to pick. We're seeing the last one tomorrow so I'm hoping it ends up being the stand out and we can choose that.

I hear you! We've looked around our last one today too and its stressful. Ours is a little different in the fact that all schools here seem to be oversubscribed but we're debating a small school for our 2nd choice as it's very close and has a nice vibe to it. Our 1st and 3rs choice are both 45 intake and have better facilities.

I keep telling myself that if we make the wrong choice at least they can hopefully move schools.

I would go for 2,1, 4. Good luck!

@mondler @WeWereInParis It is such a minefield.....I'm starting to feel better about the order now that we've slept on it, but as we have until after Christmas to put our application in, I'm going to leave it a couple of weeks and then revisit the choices and hopefully it might be a bit clearer and less overwhelming!

Totally in the same boat with feeling hugely overwhelmed! All the schools in our area are 2 form intake, or some even 3, and I went to a village primary, with 15 per year, so it just seems so different to me. On the other hand, DH went to a large 'failing' London primary and so he thinks even the ones I dislike are amazing. I keep flitting between it being a massive decision that affects their whole life and thinking it doesn't really matter at all.

I think 2 sounds like a good option for you.

Can I add, it's not your decision or choice. You provide preferences and the council will try and accommodate these preferences in allocating your child a school place. Using the words choice and decision overestimates how much influence you have over the outcome. You may just get a place where there is a space.

Its difficult but remember, you CAN move schools. It's not the end of the world.

We went with the whole village school, 8 intake. Had to drive. Started off amazingly well and no drama's like parents at other schools talk about. Son was doing work in the year above. New head came along and it all went to shit. Daughter started, 5 teachers In 1 year. Son had 3 teachers in the same year period. Special needs child in the class, not enough help and daughter told she'd be set on fire, hair pulled, pushed off chairs, punched, kicked, learned to swear...all In reception! They did nothing, her education was suffering. So we moved house and pulled them out. They now go to the large village school where we live and we have zero issues, its been a year now. Both doing well, and funnily enough lots of children from the small school have moved to this bigger school too.

I wouldn't recommend a small school because if our experiences...but walking to school is a huge deal! I do not know how I put up with driving to and from school for 3 years! It was so stressful!

For us though, the 4 schools within a 15 min walk were all undersubscribed by about 10 pupils every year for the last 3 years, so realistically we probably will get whichever one we put first I think. According to our council website, we don't have a specific catchment school, and all these schools are within 0.5 miles.

I would go with one or two. I think if they're good schools, the convenience will be valuable to you. One might be a touch small though, so maybe two? Are they all feeders to the same secondary or is that another factor to consider?

But I agree it's insanely stressful! We're moving and I don't know how we're going to navigate applications, let alone if we can get down to where we're moving to view schools.

I’m surprised you think she’s likely to get into all of them - village schools especially are not easy to get into around here if you’re not living in the immediate area or have other priority traits such as an EHCP or sibling in the school. As a pp said it’s not really a choice of school, it’s just setting a preference and hoping for the best! It’s good to be informed but I wouldn’t get to wound up on it or set my heart on anything too much for that precise reason. If they all sound good that’s a bonus! But I personally would put a school that has been coasting on its ‘outstanding’ grade from years ago as my last preference. It really means nothing. We had two schools like that here near us, they were both recently inspected, one is now in RI and the other got ‘inadequate’.

@BeanieTeen @MrsJamin I completely appreciate that it is choice and that in a lot of places village schools are incredibly sort after, but like @WeWereInParis all of these four schools have been massively under-subscribed in the past 2 years and all of them have places (more than 5 in all of the schools, and 11 places in one) in the current reception class so we are in an unenviable position that it will very likely be my choice rather than an order of preference.

2,1,4
In my opinion.

@BeanieTeen you make a good point. Without wanting to derail, can I ask, how does it work? Can you get multiple acceptances and you decide which to accept (like uni places)? Or just one, which may be your top or may be your bottom?

School 2 for first choice definitely, you want access to extra curricular activities and opportunities for her