A few issues going on in dd's Year 1 class (there are only 6 girls in her year, small school). In fact a friend of dd's has been kept off school today because her mother was concerned about how distressed she was when she got home after school yesterday. My dd is doing okay atm but I don't want that to be her in the next week or so!
I absolutely do not want to take the teacher aside to discuss these issues at drop off time (we are all allowed to take our children into class to drop off at our village school) because:
(a) when I am anxious about something or have a delicate matter to discuss I become verbally inarticulate
(b) too many other mums in proximity 'ear wigging'
(c) the mother of the child who is causing the problems is an 'effin Teaching Assistant in that same class (I have never approved of this sort of arrangement but that is a side issue)
(d) Dd's teacher is noticeably busy and distracted and doesn't have the time for a 5 minute heart to heart at that time in the morning
So is the following note okay? I don't want to come across as flaky etc:
Dear Mrs X,
Please excuse a quick note, but it is easier to jot down a few things, rather than try to take you to one side to speak confidentially at drop off time in the morning.
There appears to be a few issues amongst the Year 1 girls.
There is a lot of talk of ?clubs?. I think these started innocently enough but they now appear to be being used to exclude people. Dd tells me that there is one girl whom she regards as ?bossy?, and from what I can divine, it is this child who (from dd?s perspective) is at the centre of the current unhappiness. This same child, by the by, has given dd a complex about her ?fat arms? which I find rather worrying.
Yesterday lunch time both dd and another girl were upset and both received a sticker from the lunch time supervisor for being brave. The principle reason for them being upset was because a third Year 1 girl with whom there were friendly, was apparently encouraged not to sit with them and to join the child whom Lily is wary of. The child that Lily is wary of apparently indicated that she should join her ?club? as it was ?better?.
I understand from the mother of the child who, in common with Lily was upset by this, that there was some poking out of tongues and face pulling going on.
I am realistic and appreciate that young children fall out and then subsequently make up again over completely trivial matters, and that this is entirely natural and acceptable ? however when this appears to be accompanied by unkindness (poking out of tongues etc), and children are being upset over it (the girl, who in common with dd, was upset by this yesterday lunch time is apparently more distressed than dd currently is) it becomes concerning.
I haven?t mentioned any names as I think this would be helpful, and I don?t want to 'label' anyone. I just wondered if at this early stage (where the issues are relatively minor) the Year 1 girls might benefit from a collective, non-discriminating, chat about getting along with others and what constitutes acceptable behaviour.
Best wishes