After school activities for a six year old

[Pumpkin20222]

Please let me know any recommendations for after school activities - what is too little, what is too much? As parents, our overall stance is that childhood is a time to play and explore. We live in the countryside, in a village where there are plenty of other young children, and have lots of animals. It is nice, as it feels like growing up in the countryside decades ago - in and out of each others houses, climbing trees, looking after pets, etc. Before moving here, my husband and I were in cities and travelling for work after Uni, with fairly stressful careers. We wanted more of a balance for DS and he loves country life, but we also want him to have the options of children who have grown up with a lot of extra-curricular activities and slightly higher-powered school environments. DS spends a lot of time on unstructured play, which is great and the same as the other kids in the village. He does far fewer formal activities than some of the kids I know in the UK. I have been ill, so cannot ferry him about as much as I would like.

We prioritised swimming, doing an intensive summer course at five and keeping this up with a trip to the pool every week or other week. We are not in the UK and in the country where we live there is a big emphasis on gaining strong swimming skills, with a step by step programme from the national lifeguard authority (we are following the programme, not going beyond). DS loves swimming and really enjoyed the course and is always happy about recreational trips to the pool/messing about in the water with friends. I really support this, because of the safety aspect and also the confidence gained by learning this skill well.

When he started school, we said to do whatever afterschool activities you want. He wanted to join a sports group (trying lots of different things), because his friends do it and he enjoys this. I gave him a nudge towards the junior programme at the local football club and he enjoys this and it has helped him know the older kids on the school bus, therefore to be a bit more confident.

Music lessons are possible at the school. We gave him a nudge towards this and he starts piano soon. If he enjoys it will keep it going. Not many of the kids in the village seem interested in music lessons, but both my husband and I did this growing up.

He is bilingual (English and a Euro language), just because of the first languages my husband and I have.

Swimming, sports club, football and learning a musical instrument sounds like tons for a 6 year old. I certainly wouldn't be looking to add to that.

My DD6 does ballet and French after school, swimming and tennis at weekends. She wants to do gymnastics too but I’ve said no as I would have to drive to another town for it and I think another after school activity would be too much for her - she refuses to drop any of the others! She has just started asking to do piano lessons at school.

At 6 mine can choose to do 1 sport, 1 club offered at the school and they all do swimming.

That sounds like a good mix already. If he’s keen you can do online coding via something like Mama Codes which doesn’t involve any ferrying around and builds algorithmic thinking. It is also a creative outlet.

I wouldn’t say he ‘needs’ anything more, just be led by his interest!

Thank you @Chocoholic900 @ItsNotReallyChaos @LondonGirl83 @ZebraF for the replies. It looks like we are all giving them plenty of opportunities, but not overloading. I have a great colleague who dramatically cut back the activities of her DDs, as they were effectively spending their evenings and weekends commuting.

The Mama Codes tip is great, many thanks. My DS has enjoyed Cosmic Kids. We also did the MathsFactor, as a back-up in case of more school disruption and because he is young in the year.

Leave him to choose. If you are serious about his development, don't give him an ipad or allow any other screen time and he will develop his natural abilities and inclinations. He will also have an advantage over most other children if that's what bothers you. What does it matter if there is an emphasis on swimming where you live? Is he bothered? Does he show an interest in any of these things? High-powered is not a phrase I think you should use in the context of a child's life.

That is a rather awkward and misplaced response @Randomword6. The post says DS is very social and spends most of his time playing outdoors with friends. With that lifestyle, with lots of unstructured play and time with pets, DS has minimal screentime. Of course I only sign him up to activities he is interested in and enjoys. This is not about me being bothered that my DS has 'an advantage over most other children'. It is simply to check-in with others about finding a balance with after-school activities in a rural area, when many of the children at urban or independent schools do a lot. I was grateful for some nice responses and a good tip about coding.

Well that's great, his life sounds enviable. I would let him try things if he initiates them, that's all.

I think children are all different in terms of wants/ tiredness. My youngest twins, age 7, do ballet, musical theatre, rugby and swimming. They really like extra classes. Luckily I have a job where I can collect and then do a couple of hours at 8 to make up the time.

If it makes a difference I’m rural as well. These clubs are full of friends from school so in many ways are like play dates with a structure. My eldest is 12 and doesn’t do anything apart from Rugby / swimming for fun at weekend possibly as he doesn’t need me to organise his social life.

I'm sorry OP if I sounded judgy. I used to get very tired listening to other parents list the kids activities and felt as if I was tacitly approving their lifestyle, whether or not their kids were happy with it all.

@Pumpkin20222
Both my DDs were heading towards Brownies at 6. They both did swimming from 3. DD2 was doing ballet, modern snd started tap. She loved dancing!

DD1 started piano lessons at 6. She did recorder at school already. At 7 she started violin at school and joined Beginner Strings at the music centre. DD1 loved everything she did! And it was a lot snd she didn’t give anything up!

Mine did one after school activity in primary and the rest of the time was unstructured.

My view is too many structured activities is not a positive. My kids are much older, they did more as they got older of course.

At that age DD had a dance class and the local equivalent of Scouts. As she got older she did more and more dance, and any extras going - she is very social. Recently our local library service provided a term of cheerleading - very random! DD loved it. They are offering an African drumming workshop this half term, and DD is looking forward to it. It is great that she is developing the confidence to walk into a new activity with complete strangers, and giving it a go.

Plus in primary years loads of unstructured play as we were in a apartment complex with lots of young children.

Encourage a couple of extras, then follow your DS's interests as he gets older. Keep the listening, if he says he wants more down time then let him stop activities. The rule for DD was she could stop any activity at the end of term - if she signed up for the term she finished the term, but tbh would love to do more dance classes if only I could afford them

If DC enjoy structured activities, why should they not do them? What’s not to like if DC are happy and engaged. It’s not homework. It’s pleasure. It gave skills for life. Swimming, dance and music definitely did. I was very sad DD only went to French club at school for a term. Parent who ran it got a paid job. DD loved it and got a degree in MFL. She also sang at the music centre in around y5/6 and still sings in a choir now. So I’m not sure what’s wrong with activities DC enjoy.

Activities are great if enjoyed. However, unstructured play is extremely important. A healthy balance of both is required for optimal development according to research.

Unstructured play after tea and all weekend. Also my DDs had a lot of energy and liked activities. They didn’t seem to be sleepy!

At 6 my DD did Rainbows and Swimming, that was it.

She's now at 8 doing Brownies (next up from Rainbows), Swimming and Gymnastics. That's it. It feels a bit too structured sometimes but she loves it and has nights off as well so it works well.

One of mine wasn't interested in doing lots of activities, he does football twice a week and tennis once. My middle child does loads as she wants to, swimming, rainbows, piano, ballet, drama and street dance. My youngest does ballet, football and tennis. I'm just led by them. The two eldest also do some lunch clubs.

My 6 year old son does football, street dance, Beavers and swimming.

My 6 year old does football, trampolining, gymnastics, rainbows, swimming and is starting piano soon.

I'm led by her, I'd rather she didn't do so much! She thrives on it though.

How do you all facilitate this? By the time I finish work, I've time for dinner, listening to their reading, bathtimes etc.

I was thinking this too I've had to create a schedule with my 3 kids (10,6,&5) so I can fit in standard after-school clubs, each reading 3X a week (the smaller 2 don't read on the same day as after-school clubs or each other unless they want too) spelling 2X a week each and Google classroom homework.

My youngest had always been keen to do loads of activities- 2 instruments, 2 sports plus Beavers (then cubs, scouts) bot my oldest just did 2 (and then 1) instrument and scouts. The other did just one sport.

I think it is all about following their lead and balancing your own time.

I do think scouts is excellent as an after school activity- great mix of physical, creative, life skills, social, activities. Plus it helps them mix with children outside of their own school and the camps help them be away from home.

My 6yo does Beavers, gymnastics, swimming lesson, and 1 x club swimming each week.
My 8yo does Cubs, karate, swimming lesson, and 2 x club swimming.
They still have plenty of free time to play or chill out at home.

To the PP who asked how we manage it, DCs have their swimming lessons one after the other (both have recently moved up levels and that's the best I could do with the new classes, but previously they were in different classes but at the same time - the holy grail of afterschool clubs!) and they are both in the pool at the same time for the club swim. All club swimming is at the weekend (for now!), so that doesn't need to be crammed into a weekday evening. When the 8yo also did gymnastics, I scheduled that too so both DCs were on the same evening. Beavers and karate unfortunately clash and are not near each other, so DH and I each take a child to their activity on that night. DH is a Cubs volunteer, so that's that one covered.