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Primary education

Worried about what teacher told me about ds

30 replies

goodfornothing · 25/01/2008 22:39


I recently spoke to my ds teacher about his reading and writing ability as I suspected it wasn't really as advanced for his age as it should be. He has just turned 7.

She explained to me that there is a gap between his ability and fellow classmates.
she also said that she had come close to putting him into the special needs group.
She did say however that he is not the only one.

So far he has managed to just about keep off the special needs group.
He is apparently making very small progress.

My son doesn't seem to have the ability to sit down and write a simple paragraph unless if he has it down in front of him to copy.
He also only seems to know how to write down simple words such as dog, cat, etc.
When it comes to more complicated words he needs prompting on the spelling all of the time and doesn't even try to think it out himself.

He also seems to have difficulty applying what he has learnt and thinking it out in his head and putting it to paper.

I have tried to do small writing exercises at home but he goes into really awful tantrums and the pen gets thrown across the room.

Half of the time he just cannot be bothered
and his teacher did say that is a big part of the problem.

I have tried to give him a boost at home but what is one to do with a bad tempered, uninterested, seven year old.

His teacher suggested that I start up a reward chart for writing a sentence each day and if he does it he gets a reward at the end.

This I did and for the first 2 weeks it was going great but now he has lost interest.
Is anybody else having similar problems with their 7 year old.
I do have similar problems with his reading where he doesn't even try to sound out the words and interpret what they say.

OP posts:
LadyMuck · 25/01/2008 22:42

Does the special needs group get additional support? Because if so, apart from the name, then wouldn't it be good to get it? Is it worth asking for a SENCo assessment and seeing what they say?

discoverlife · 25/01/2008 22:43

He could have a problem, I would actually ask for him to be refered for tests. What a lot of people think is a child being naughty can be a child who just CAN'T is physically or mentally unable to do the work because of dyslexia etc. If it isn't sorted at an earlier age the child can end up being labelled as a disruptive child.
Don't just go for the special needs group, go for the full testing, or your child could be the one who suffers for your pride.

tortoiseSHELL · 25/01/2008 22:45

I have got my children the Wizard Whimstaff Letts books (things like Messy Maths, Excellent English, Hilarious Handwriting, Funny Phonics/Silly Spelling) - they really enjoy doing them, and it would give you a chance to see what your ds1 is doing, and perhaps you could link it in with him working towards a treat or something.

pinkbubble · 25/01/2008 22:46

Normally they only give extra help to those who need it! My DD needed extra help in YR6 to get her level 4 grades for SATS she had the help and managed to get above. At first I was worried what other people would think, now I now it was best for her!

cory · 25/01/2008 22:47

I agree with both the above posters- go for all the help you can get! My ds has been getting extra support for his reading and writing since reception and he really is showing the benefits.

pinkbubble · 25/01/2008 22:47

** Now I know it was best for her!

goodfornothing · 25/01/2008 22:50

Hi LadyMuck and discoverlife.

I honestly don't know what to make of him.
What is a SENCo assessment.

I think I may need to speak to his teacher again about things and get more of an idea of what the special needs group is about.
The name does sound awful but I took it that its just a group for those children who are not making the progress the teachers would like to see.

OP posts:
goodfornothing · 25/01/2008 22:55

The biggest problem I have with my ds is getting him interested and I feel so frustrated at times I could scream.
He moans like mad if I try to get him to do some writing its my tummy hurts I have a headache, I'm too tired.
Its a constant battle with him and if I do get him writing he will not let me correct him if he has done something wrong he goes off the rails.

OP posts:
discoverlife · 25/01/2008 22:56

Senco, Special Educational Needs Co-Ordinator.
It can be just to give help to the slow ones, but it also is the umbrella to cover all children who need help becuae of disability.

discoverlife · 25/01/2008 22:59

It sounds as if he knows he isn't doing it right for some reason and he may actually have a bad tummy, havn't you ever been so stressed out that your tummy hurts? And he is rubbing your nose in it by not letting you correct it. As in "there thats how rubbish I am at this".
Please get him assessed.

goodfornothing · 25/01/2008 23:04

discoverlife I have wondered that myself I will speak to his teacher again.
How do I go about getting him assessed do I arrange it through his teacher.

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LadyMuck · 25/01/2008 23:20

I think that every school should have a SENCo (Special Education Needs Co-ordinator but I've never heard it referred to in long hand!). I would ask his class teacher if the SENCo could assess him. Ds1 had a SENco assessment which involved his class teacher filling out a questionnaire with the SENco and then ds1 spending an hour or so with the SENCo - he thought that he was playing computer games but I think that there was more to it! After the assessment I then had a meeting with the SENCo and class teacher to discuss the assessment and the way forward.

Sometimes there are a few things going on with children that interact and it is very hard for a class teacher to spot and analyse all of these. A child could be say very sensitive, or having difficulty with temper or attention, and in addition to this could also say have a sight problem or a hearing difficulty or mild dyslexia say. A 1-1 assessment by someone experienced may allow them to probe whether your ds has any specific issues affecting his progress, and if so whether any intervention is appropriate. Sometimes boys just do need to grow up a bit more and actually no intervention is needed.

Don't worry about the label - see it as a way of getting more individualised help.

discoverlife · 25/01/2008 23:24

My case was different as we knew DS2 was disabled at a very young age so we had full psychiatric reports etc. The teachers can recommend further checks if the initial report shows the child needs it. The tests don't hurt and more often than not the kid thinks they are playing. But Dyslexia and Dyspraxia, poorhearing etc all need to be ruled out.

Elephantsbreath · 26/01/2008 00:35

GFN please change your name

sorry nothing to add, good luck x

cat64 · 26/01/2008 01:07

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shabster · 26/01/2008 01:31

I have had four sons. My first two, very clever, but shy and a bit 'backwards in coming forwards. My third son, what a joy, dislexic, very late speech etc etc.

He used to say 'I cant wead, I cant wite, but you know what Mam I'm not bovered. I have a good time evwey day and i love webecca in my class, here has wed wibbons in her hair and i just wov her.'

My youngest, now 10 has the reading age of a 17 yr old, loves doing SATS and has been reading and writing from a very young age.

Our babies are our babies - my eldest is now 26! We are all put here for some reason. We need to embrace the fact that we are not here for a long time - we are here for a good time.

Use every day as if it was your last on this earth - smile, laugh (as loudly as possible) embrace, kiss and go for it. We all make our way in this world. x

shabster · 26/01/2008 01:35

goodfornothing - please stop worrying, try to find a subject your DC loves - trains, trucks, whatever it may be.

Please enjoy each other - all the schools in this strange country we live in follow the bloody National cirriculum. Which means - we should all be doing the same things at the same time.

In my sons school the National Cirriculum has no time for the brightest child or the child that is struggling.

Make your DC homelife as happy and secure as possible - teach your DC life skills, draw, paint, sing, laugh out loud, talk about feelings.

I'm so sorry to rant on and on but I have really strong feelings about education.

Ce sera sera - whatever will be will be

discoverlife · 26/01/2008 01:53

Hey cat are you from Herefordshire as you write like my Ds's very nice 1-2-1 teacher at his last school.

cat64 · 26/01/2008 14:57

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needmorecoffee · 26/01/2008 15:01

Is she doing anything useful like reffering him to a specialist if she thinks there is a problem?

goodfornothing · 26/01/2008 17:49


No she hasn't suggested a refferal to a specialist or anything.
Not sure if she does see this as a real problem maybe she has seen this sort of thing loads of times with pupils and I am reading into things too much.

Its just that now I am thinking about the name special needs and I am thinking of handicapped children, learning disabilites, that sort of thing and it has got me worried.

Maybe the name is misleading though and I am worrying for nothing.
I think that maybe I need to speak to her again to get a better picture.

I am wondering if its more of a case of my son needing to mature its still young really 7 isn't it.

OP posts:
LIZS · 26/01/2008 17:57

Perhaps it is just some focussed small group support and you misinterpreted it because of the label she gave it. They don't necessarily need to be assessed as SN to participate in intervention strategies. Grab all help offered at this stage, he may simply need an opportunity to become more confident or it may highlight a deeper issue whcih can be addressed. ds is still struggling at 9 and it is painful in comparison to the apparent ease of his 6 yr odl sister. Speak to the teacher again.

cat64 · 26/01/2008 18:19

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Blandmum · 26/01/2008 18:36

Would echo what others have said. Don't focus on the label of Special needs.

Your son needs to have an IEP and you need to agree some realistic targets with his school SENCO and class teacher.

My son has a dx of dyspraxia, if your son has problems with writing (to the point that it is distressing him), can I suggest that you try a scheme called Write From the Start with him at home (school too if that is possible). It can be used by any child with writing difficulties, and was recoemded to us by the Ed Psych who gave us the diagnosis.

the tasks are set at a very 'easy' level at the start, so your son wouldn't find them offputtingly hard. they get harder in tiny little steps. This has really helped my sone

goodfornothing · 27/01/2008 08:24


Where do I find that scheme write from the start can it be found on the internet or what.

What does IEP stand for.

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