I have a 7 year old DS who is currently in Year 3. He attends the local state primary school. There have been some issues occurring since he was in Y2 last year, but things seem to have taken a quick downward curve since the start of Y3. The story of school so far has been that he is doing quite well academically, but really struggling socially. DS has said that no one at school likes him. I’ve asked him who he means exactly, and he said none of the boys in his class like him, and the teacher doesn’t seem to like him very much. A few examples are that he has told me that during lunchtime when he goes to sit down next to a group of the boys from his class, they don’t seem to want him there. He will sit down and try to join in with whatever they are talking about, but he gets ignored or told to shut up. He has said this has happened a few times. There have been a couple of other incidents which have upset him at school. One of the boys in his class (not the same one who told him to shut up) hid DS’s pencil case under one of the radiators in the classroom. This led to DS becoming very upset. The teacher found it, but apparently didn’t bother trying to find out who had hidden it. The boy who hid it from DS admitted it was him and then laughed at DS. There have also been a couple of incidents where he has been told off for talking in class. I asked him about this, and he said the same boy who hid his pencil case was calling him a sissy. DS got in trouble, but the boy who started it was essentially given a free pass. I am getting the sense that this other boy might be one of the teacher’s favourites in the class. I know they are supposed to be impartial, but in reality I imagine every teacher in the country has kids in their class who they like or don’t like. I am sure a blind eye is turned if one of their favourites does something naughty, but if it’s a child they don’t like, then they won’t let them off the hook with the slightest thing. This has all happened in barely a month since the start of Y3. Since all of this has been happening, when I pick DS up from school, he is nearly always miserable when he walks out from the school doors. He looks at the ground and says he just wants to go home. Most of the other kids seem buoyant and happy when they exit school at the end of the day from what I have seen, but DS isn’t.
There are a few other things I would like to mention. DS is currently an only child. He doesn’t seem to enjoy being among groups of other kids very much, and I have heard that this is more common in only children. He doesn’t have many friends away from school. I’ve tried to make friends with the other mums at the school, but I can’t force their DCs to like DS. The situation is causing some friction between myself and my DP (DS’s father). I have been talking about withdrawing him or trying to move him to another school. DP is saying running away isn’t the answer and that DS “just needs to be less sensitive”. I know that as a parent I am not supposed to be trying to wrap him in cotton wool, and that he needs to be able to cope with adversity. I am weighing those concerns against the fact that he is clearly not happy at school, and the situation seems to be getting worse. It’s making me stressed and I’m wondering what the next incident will be at school whenever DS goes in. I have friends and family with DCs in primary school and they all seem to be happy, thriving and enjoying school. I am not sure what to do. I have been looking up various conditions online but nothing seems to fit. He doesn’t have any behavioural or emotional issues at home. All the issues seem to start as soon as he steps through the school gates. I wanted to ask if anyone with DCs in primary school (or older kids who have already been in primary) has any thoughts about the situation.