5 year old really struggling with reading/spelling

[ChessieFranceLynch]

DS is in Year 1 and the teacher pulled his Granny (she was picking DS up for me) to one side in the playground and said that DS had been upset and cried when doing a spelling test.
It has really upset me and I feel awful. DS is inquisitive and bright but seems to be really struggling with reading and literacy in general. When me and DH try and get him to read at home he really doesn't like it and I end up giving in as I don't want to make it an issue and make him hate learning.
When we catch him in the right mood he blends his words really well and his handwriting is coming on really well, but I know he isn't where he "should" be.
I am trying not to worry as I don't want to pass my anxiety on to him but I don't know what to do.
I work long hours and by the time I get home he is too tired to read. My DH picks him up from after school club most nights but finds it tricky to get DS to sit down and practice his reading.

I don't really know shy I'm posting but feel so crap about it. Im hoping other mumsnetters have been in a similar position and can advise.

I have tried apps like 'Teach your monster to read' but DS loses interest and I don't know if encouraging him to use devices is helpful,

Please help!

Agree with not leaving it as well and also agree with little and often, just 5 mins reading of their school reading book a day will make a huge difference. I also work in a school (KS1) and it is obvious which children read at home and which don't. Those that don't will get behind and then it'll be a struggle to get them back to where they need to be.

Following as we're in a similar position. Don't get home until after 6pm some nights and it's just too rushed. My son gets really upset if he gets something wrong when reading and then shuts down so the window of opportunity is small. I try to read daily or at least every other but with work, a highly energetic 1 year old and everything else it doesn't always go to
Plan. Some good suggestions on here though. My only advice is keep trying that's what we're doing. Good luck!

Go on letters and sounds

The phases are there in order and have printable sheets and tricky words

If you find there are words he always gets wrong - do some funny pictures to help - thinks like ‘said’ draw mummy and said in a bubble and stick it on a kitchen drawer - it’s now the password for a snack
Draw ‘went’ with wellies- this is now the password to leave the front door -

You can add more words and say - todays password is X and they have to touch the X picture - works wonders

Thank you all as there is some brilliant advice.
I promise both me and DH do read with him and sometimes we can have a really good day like yesterday where we could see he is improving. Other days are like pulling teeth and I end up feeling upset (I don't show this to DS).

I will definitely try some of the suggestions and will persevere.

Don’t give up is the best advice.
If he’s too tired then read to him or do paired reading where you pick out the words he knows and he reads those bits. Or mummy pages DS page reading.
Buy unit audio books or use the free ones on Oxford owl and let him read along - there’s some games in there too.

Agree with this
I am glad I didn’t listen to people who told me that ds would learn in his own time.
I took proactive steps and it benefited my ds

I agree it was a strange conversation to have with granny and it should have been the parents.
There is so much expectation on little ones these days, but truly they do all develop at their own pace.
There is also a huge transition in some schools from learning through play in reception to a more structured approach and sitting at tables in yr1. Having said that most yr 1 classes are still settling in the first term.
As a teacher myself when my youngest went to school and being an August baby I did not push him because I wanted him to enjoy school. That said looking back I did do a lot of learning activities with him in the pre school years.
Nevertheless it was highlighted that he needed additional support much to my shock at the time.
By yr2 he scored highly in his SATS and went on to achieve a first class degree.

This is approach I took with mine and they are both excellent readers now. Neither really got the hang of reading until the end of year one but were reading proper chapter books soon after.
We read loads to them but never forced them to read their school books because I never wanted it to be a chore. I wanted them to love reading as much as I do and they both do now.

If you are struggling for time in the evening, I would prioritise reading over everything else (just 5 or 10 minutes, plus another 5 or 10 minutes for spelling) and maybe find something else to cut back on? Maybe a sandwich or ready meal, rather than cooking dinner, or 10 minutes later to bed, or a bath only every 2 or 3 nights. It's so heartbreaking seeing dc struggle in school, and a little bit of extra help can do so much to boost their confidence. It's about turning a vicious circle into a virtuous circle - if he has less practice than his peers at home, he will do worse than his peers, feel bad about reading and about himself, and refuse to engage and get upset. If he gets the same amount of practice as his peers, reading and spelling will become easier in comparison, he will experience success, he will feel proud of himself and enjoy reading and spelling tests as he is rewarded with a sense of achievement. My experience is that kids in primary school very acutely compare themselves with each other and compare their book band level/spelling test results, and so very early on form a sense of themselves as being 'good' or 'bad'. I don't like that at all, I am from a school system in which children start learning to read and write at 6/7, so I am despairing at the pressure our children have to cope with at such a young age. But given the horrendous system we are in, I think our dc desperately need any learning support they can get at home.