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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

After school meltdown

16 replies

Neednewfloor · 28/09/2022 20:34

What are your tips for avoiding the after school meltdown, today's was a corker.
He's reception so only few weeks in.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AlternativelyWired · 28/09/2022 20:36

Look up the shaken bottle analogy. This is very common in ASD. My second dd was/is like this. Angelic in school where she tried so hard to fit in and do well and all hell let loose once home. Now she's a teen the pressure is worse but she knows how to deal with it after school and takes herself off for quiet.

CrookCrane · 28/09/2022 20:36

A run round the park before going home and a snack a drink asap, in the park or even on the way if necessary. I think it’s trial and error as well. Some children will be ok going straight home if they can have a drink and snack and some quiet time watching tv for example. No questions, no trying to make them get changed out of their uniform etc. Just letting them decompress for 30-60 mins.

ggmom87 · 28/09/2022 20:37

Snacks! I bring snacks for the walk home, shove it in their face before they have a chance to melt down. Other than that … patience. It was rough for my daughter until halfway through year 1

Iamnotthe1 · 28/09/2022 20:37

It will ease in time as he becomes more used to the routine. His mind is so amazingly busy during the day now that he will be exhausted by the end and controlling all of his emotions will just be a little beyond him.

As dramatic as it may sound, he will need a little space/time to decompress. It's normal and natural at this point.

Covidwoes · 28/09/2022 20:39

We are getting this too OP! DD is summer born, so hasn't been 4 for that long. I'm a teacher myself (albeit in juniors), but I know they just find it so so tiring at this age. They often hold it in all day at school, and we are their release for their emotions (heightened by being exhausted).

It will get better, but for now I give DD plenty of cuddles, and make sure she can just relax after school. We don't do any 'extra curricular' activities during the week, as it would just be too much. That said, I feel guilty she is in wraparound care two days a week, but it is what it is (we both work), and she'll get used to it in time. Lots of cuddles, and plenty of nice comforts at home will hopefully help.

BusyBeaMe · 28/09/2022 20:40

We had that at the start of reception and this year, the first couple of weeks of year one. It’s calmed down now, thankfully.

i put it down to hunger, tiredness, and the ipad.

we now have a snack plate ready, bottle of water (don’t think they drink enough) and some quiet tv time while he eats. I’ve banned the iPad completely as all would be calm and then BOOM it would kick off again when it had to be switched off.

I also tried to limit after school clubs/play dates for the first term or so as it was all too much.

It’s brutal but gets better!

BusyBeaMe · 28/09/2022 20:41

@Covidwoes a summer born boy here too. So he did his whole reception year being 4. Makes a huge difference, even at the start of year one.

Itshotoutthere · 28/09/2022 20:42

Food! Drink. Make sure she's been to toilet. Favourite comfort toy in car. Headphones Park or library if needed. Trial and error but usually any combination works

bringbackveronicamars · 28/09/2022 20:47

Offer them a choice of a snack (crisps, granola bar, piece of fruit, bread sticks etc) as soon as they come out the door.

EntertainingandFactual · 28/09/2022 20:49

Definitely a drink and snack. Favourite cuddly toy in car, nice music, go straight home, no urgent errands…

PathOfLeastResitance · 28/09/2022 20:50

Absolutely agree with the immediate snack the moment they get to you. Don’t ask them about their day until much later.

BettyOBarley · 28/09/2022 20:51

We had this today after school because I wouldn't let DS (just started Yr1) play on the monkey bars as we needed to be off.
Epic crying fit with bag and water bottle flung across the playground....!

To be fair he's not usually that bad (it was his birthday this wknd so extra tired I think) but he's always a bit volatile after school! I always bring a snack in the car (didn't make it that far today!) and let him just chill for half an hour with TV when we get in.

2bazookas · 28/09/2022 20:54

Walk home in the fresh air and Do NOT keep asking questions about what did you do today. At home, a drink of milk or juice and small snack; then change out of school clothes and let them play . Early tea (5 pm), and a bit of TV.

Starting school is physically mentally and emotionally exhausting. For both of you.

MsChatterbox · 28/09/2022 21:08

Another one for bring a snack! Usually something that will excite them. I tend to not lead any conversation on the way home and just follow his lead with what he's saying if anything. If there is a meltdown I either wait patiently until its finished or walk slowly and see if he will follow whilst melting down.

LadyCluck · 28/09/2022 21:36

We had this last year when my daughter was reception.
She was shattered up til Christmas and then it eased off slightly……. however we still had the meltdowns a few times a week all the way up to summer. She’s year 1 now and it’s near enough stopped.
Snacks and a run round the park followed by a cuddle once you’re home.

Madcats · 28/09/2022 21:42

Mother of teen here. Carb- heavy snack is required!

I'd suggest a drink as a priority (but check whether they can nip back into the school for a wee or understand where they can go en route home).

Despite months or years at nursery, reception is a whole new ballgame for many kids.

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