Parents evening- too quiet

[strawberrykat]

I had parents' evening last night for my dd who has just started reception. The only thing the teacher could say was that she was too quiet and needs to contribute more to class. I have two children who are both well behaved, hardworking, polite and kind but every parents' evening we have ever had the main comment is they are too quiet. Does anyone else get this? My son was the lead in the school play last year so it's not like he can't speak in front of others, he is just naturally a quiet, thoughtful and introverted person. I wish they were more extrovert but I have made peace with their personalities and try and value their strengths. I was so pleased how well my dd had settled in school, she is happy, has made friends and hasn't cried once about going so am feeling quite despondent that once again the only thing worth mentioning is how quiet she is.

If your DD has just started Reception, her teacher is probably trying to understand her.
Is she quiet because she doesn't understand & daren't say anything? Is she quiet because she does understand but daren't say anything because she's scared/intimidated/afraid of getting it wrong? Is she quiet because she does understand & is finding it boring?
Maybe she was hoping you could offer an insight into her personality & what she'd been like at preschool?

I sympathise. I had this.

Feedback on my eldest was always that she is very quiet. Always seemed to get overlooked for house points / behaviour awards. School reports pretty bland.

Second child is chatty and gets every award going and gushing reports. It was actually drives me mad. Both children are lovely and work hard (not at all biased...). School should not be so geared up for the very confident chatty ones. It might be a bit more work to find a way to see what my eldest knows and has to share but I manage it just fine and it should be the teacher's job!

What a waste of time, how on earth could a teacher know what any child in their class are like they've only had them for two and half weeks at the most.

I hate the way teachers seem to make a judgement about your child's personality and do it like they are revealing an insight to you in case you've not noticed or don't know your own child. But they have to say something unfortunately. Possibly because your child is quieter she hasn't been noticed much the teacher didn't have anything more helpful to say. Just file the comment away and carry on doing what you are doing, if you feel she would benefit from more confidence then carry on working on that.

Just to add
The recommended way to comment on a child is the sandwich approach. First give an account of all the positive things about your child, then an area of concern and finally go back to the positive. I hate that a teacher would not list the positive attributes of a child who is obviously quiet and listening and not disturbing the class.
Just ignore it all.

I hate the way teachers seem to make a judgement about your child's personality and do it like they are revealing an insight to you in case you've not noticed or don't know your own child. @Doingmybest12

Yes! I hate that too.

My daughter had this phrase 36 times in one primary report. In the end my husband got irratated and asked if they wanted the whole class to be noisy.
She was shy, she isn't now and what they expected us to do about it was baffling. There are ways of drawing out children that teachers can use.
Still makes me cross now!