Should I move year 1 daughter schools

[Penny1210]

Hi all
I have a real dilemma we live in a village wirh it’s own primary daughter just gone into year 1
she was reasonably happy in reception for the most part but frequently complained she was bored, school was boring she didn’t like the toys etc. I have had my own issues with the school regarding school lunches and their refusal to allow her to bring a pack up but also their refusal to support her in ensuring she was eating a sufficient amount of their cooked compulsory school dinners. I don’t like the head I find him very arrogant and unapproachable and as the school is a village school it’s almost like well you have to send your children so well do what we want and not listen to any of your views or concerns etc. You can never get an appointment with him and I had to go down the official complaint escalation process to get any support for my daughters eating- it was so bad she lost weight.The schools latest ofsted requires improvement and the accompanying email from the schooo was just full of deflection and blaming covid etc and I just don’t see how it will improve with the current head at the helm Anyway she’s gone into year 1 was excited to go back see her friends etc but again we’re getting the “it’s boring, there’s no girls toys etc etc” and she never tells me what she’s being doing at school, it’s like she ticks a box and it’s done but nothing there seems to peak her interest, maybe this is normal for a child so young? She’s got friends quite a few but again I don’t really know how close she is as she refuses to talk about school - the impression I get is she’ll flit from person to person there’s no one she really seems attached to. There is another school in the next village excellent reputation, lots of sports, music, trips, outdoor provision is outstanding, sats results good etc. Seems a lot going on there for the children. I went for a look round and they said she could go for an afternoon. Her dad is set against the idea, he thinks she is bright and will flourish anywhere she is and taking her away from her friends, not being able to walk to school with them and hang out when she’s older will be detrimental to her, he feels living in a village where all the other kids go to the village school and she doesn’t will isolate her, and that this social side is much more important. I have to add there are children from all over that travel to this potential new school because of how good it is. I am totally and utterly lost as to what to do, I am worried DD doesn’t understand the complexities and repercussions to moving schools although she is very switched on I may be doing her a disservice there, I am terrified of making the wrong decision and her social development suffering from living away from her peers but I’m also concerned she’s losing her spark at this old school. What would you do?

Do you feel current school can keep your daughter safe? Thats more important walking with friends.

It's hard to say, but Year 1 does tend to more 'boring' than Reception as it's more sitting down and working and less play based, so probably less choice of toys and less time to play too. Plus toys are just toys there aren't girl toys/boy toys.. so not sure what your daughter is referring too? Most Year 1 classes have a couple of boxes of toys like train track, reading corner, some might have a small home corner but that might be it.

Plus a lot of children never say what they do at school, it's a lot of 'I don't know' or 'I can't remember' or 'nothing'. Even when the day is packed full of activities and classes, PE, forest school, music, art etc.
I tend to ask leading questions so less of the 'what did you do?' but questions like 'did you play outside?', 'who did you play with outside?' 'what did you play together?' 'was anyone unkind to you today?' 'what didn't you like about your day?' 'what was your favourite thing about your day?'

Is she happy at school? Is she well settled? Is she learning and progressing? If so I'd keep here where she is personally. It's only the very start of the year and with a new teacher, and potential for forming close friendships, a lot can change in Year 1. Perhaps you could ask her who she'd like to invite round to play one day afterschool or at the weekend?

Thank you for the advice
when she says girls toys I should have been more specific so when I probed she said like dolls and barbies and things, she sees them as girls and boys she has had both as a young toddler but likes barbies now, I was also of the mindset that year 1 will be a lot more work based so could be that, she’s got the same teacher as reception
she’s had friends over before to play but she csn take it or leave it tbh. I also ask specific questions but then she’ll say all of it or none of it or I’m not telling you or I don’t wanna talk about it 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s very hard to figure out if she is bored or just laid back about it. She’s safe where she is, she’d be safe walking when she’s older. She’s got a very good report she’s where she needs to be. I don’t think she’s Mensa I jusy think she’s easily bored and finding the monotony of the class mind numbing, the other school seems to enagage the pupils in so many different things outside of reading writing and maths that’s what appeals to me and I Think That’s just as important as good SATS results etc for her. She’s got an inquisitive mind. My son was very typically minded and easy going take it or leave it kind of thing he did well just enough but not too much and that’s how he likes it steady away but she’s different she’s always on the go and looking for her next adventure. I guess I’m trying to weigh up keeping that zest for life and curiosity against living where she doesn’t school

Yeah they don't tend to have a lot of toys like barbies and dolls in Year 1 and sometimes not even Reception would they have barbies... toys in school tend to be more open ended, so building blocks and construction toys, train tracks, home corner (or other themed corner depending on topic), sand, water, craft area, Numeracy area with Maths manipulatives, mark making, small world with little animals or people.

It's tricky, but I'd say if she's happy at school then don't move her, happy children learn. I doubt she's bored in school, there is often so much going on... assembly, then phonics, then morning break, numeracy, lunch, music, PE then home time.

Has she always found making friends hard? Perhaps that's more the issue? Often the most fun at school is being with friends and playing, chatting, sitting together at lunch, that kind of thing. Without a friend or a few good friends then I imagine school would be pretty dull as then it's all just work (even if the teacher makes the classes fun). Has she had lots of friends in the past? Or best friends?

I was in two minds about posting on here as there’s always one person who finds pleasure in speaking to people as you have. Not constructive just a pointless gratuitous comment. How sad that you feel the need to say such things when all I am trying to go is ask for advice, please refrain from ever commenting on my threads again,
you have no idea what her classroom is like or what provisions they have. You have no idea what I’m referring to or how my child is.

Thank you for the advice
she seems to have friends yes she’s invited to a lot of parties but isn’t always keen to go as she finds these also boring. Perhaps it is those fun parts she’s missing, I have spoken to her teachers to see if she’s making friends and they don’t see an issue in this area. She just seems to have lost her spark, I can’t mince her words however offensive people find how we see it she says she’s bored, I would have expected some fun still in year one that’s all. I will speak to her teacher and see what they think about how she’s saying she’s feeling. The school itself don’t have much in the classroom or playground in terms of activities or play things, hence my comment. It’s very bland the classroom and playground especially compared to other schools I’ve been to I think that means she doesn’t really enjoy playtime’s that much 🤷🏼‍♀️

A lot of schools are underfunded, so perhaps it struggles to buy additional things for the playground/classes.
Does she say she's bored a lot? At home, going to the park? Other places you'd expect her not to be bored? Is she saying she's bored but is actually feeling something else? - shy, a bit lost, unsure of things? Is she quite confident?
If you are at a party, playdate - does she run off and play happily? Or does she find it hard to join in? Just wondering if it's a school issue or whether she's just finding the social side hard, without firm friends in a empty playground I'd be bored too.

So hard to know what's best, because even if you move her to the school with the added extras, she may still say she's bored 😅

It's a tricky one. My son has just gone into year 1. He does forest school, they obviously have PE twice a week, music, IT suite etc. Often have people come in to talk to the children, lots of stuff going on. He 99% of the time doesn't tell me anything about his school day. He's 'played' or 'worked all day' or he 'can't remember'. He has never once complained school was boring though. Is she happy going in etc? How far away is 'the next village'. There must have been a reason you favoured your current school when you made your choices. If the other one is seemingly miles better on paper and close enough to attend, you must have liked something about your current school to pick it (assuming potential new school wasn't oversubscribed as they have a place for you).

I absolutely don't understand why she can't have a packed lunch That seems silly. What do they do when children require packed lunches for allergies etc?

I moved DS in year 1, it sounds like your daughter in that he had friends but just seemed quite down about school and I wasn't happy with the educational side. He was instantly happy and enthusiastic in his new school. It was only when he had the experience of a new school doing things differently that he started mentioning things where he hadn't liked the old schools approach. For example, when he finished work before the rest of the class he was expected to just sit there quietly, bored and doing nothing.

The new schools suggestion of a half day visit for your daughter sounds an excellent one. It doesn't sound like you've given it a try. Why not try and see how your daughter feels? Giving her a chance to see somewhere where things are different could help her articulate some of the things she doesn't like about her old school as well.

she seems to have friends yes she’s invited to a lot of parties but isn’t always keen to go as she finds these also boring.
What does she like, what's not bot? If she finds parties boring then it doesn't se

Posted randomly. Should say what does she like, what's not boring for her? If she finds parties boring it doesn't sound like the problems school specific. My DS will only go to parties with his close friends, they're not high on his list of fun things to do, he'd rather kick a soccer ball, it's an unusual stance for a little kid.

It doesn't sound like she'd lose any close friendships moving, I think PPs suggestion of doing that trial half day and seeing how she goes might help you chose. Maybe she needs to go somewhere else, or maybe there's something else that she can't express fully yet that she means when she says things are boring.

None of my DC at this age would talk much about what was happening at school, though 2 of them can tell me who they played with my Autistic DS often says he doesn't know their names, he'll often join someone doing an activity he likes without knowing who they are or what grade there in and my youngest often says he didn't play with anyone when he did. It's pretty common to get little or no information about school out of children at this age.