DS has big red sore ear.

[Viggoswife]

DS started reception 2 weeks ago and seems to be loving it. But in the past week he has come home with a bruise on his forehead, one on his back and today a sore, red ear that he wont even let me touch. He is not much of talker and certainly not a fighter so I know he is not fighting. When pressed he told me that someone had hit him on the ear with something red but beyond that wont say any more. He seems quite happy and as I say really seems to be loving school but I just wonder how best to approach this. He did say the name of the boy that did it. Is it just teething problems? should I expect this sort of thing? I am going to speak to his teacher tommorrow. Whats the best way to approach her or the situation? Many thanks for any advice.

you should speak to teacher

approach her gently and openly in a can you shed some light on this please

Errr yes, if he's coming home injured, probably best to catch her after school pick up (rather than when everyones milling around at the start of the day)
Don't mention any names, but state calmly you're worried, and ask her to keep an eye out for potential trouble.

Good luck

I think what you are describing goes beyond run of the mill teething problems and should be brought to the teacher's attention. She may be entirely unaware, especially if the injuries happened at lunchtime in a far corner of the playground. Say something along the lines of "I'm concerned that x has come home with some unexplained injuries. Is there anything I should know?" Should ring enough alarm bells with her that she makes sure someone keeps an eye out.

Make sure you tell her one was on his head. At DD1's school, they only have to have a minor knock (not enough to bruise) to trigger a written incident report and a letter home to let parents know they need to keep an eye out for concussion. One afternoon, the teacher had about six of them to give out after most of the girls had some sort of major, skipping-rope induced pile-up!

yes definitely speak to the teacher tomorrow and ask what he/she knows about these marks. Especially as your little one isnt prone to getting into scraps. I think if the teacher knew about these marks you would probably have been informed (like smithagain said). If the staff dont know how these marks happened, they will certainly be more likely to keep a close eye on things tomorrow. Agree with yaddayah too, make sure that teacher knows you are concerned and want to know what is happening.

Spoke to his teacher this morning. I didnt want to wait until the end of the day in case something else happened during the day. She said she would have a chat with DS and the other boy involved. DH is for letting things pan out and advising DS to hit back but I dont agree with this. DS is quite a gentle little boy and just wouldnt understand why someone would hit him or to hit back. I told him to tell whoever hits not to do it and to say no one is allowed to hit him and then to tell his teacher.

I am tearful as I write this because I just cant stand the thought of my gentle little boy being hit. He just wouldnt understand and I am not a Mum who thinks their son is an angel when he isnt. He is just completely not aggressive. I am scared that he will end having to learn to be though just to look after himself .

Glad you had a chance to talk to her - hopefully she is good at dealing with these things.

I must say that DD1's first teacher taught the class some great strategies for dealing with aggressive behaviour. They talked about saying "no" in a very stern, but not agressive, voice. For a while, the whole class was going around with big "no" badges stuck to their chests, so they could just point at them if they were too shy to say it!

And she was very good about getting them to apologise face to face if things got out of hand.

In a year of school, DD1 has gone from a sensitive little flower to a self-confident young lady who is pretty good at standing her ground. But no hitting back has ever been suggested or tolerated.

That's a rather round about way of saying your son doesn't have to learn to be aggressive - just assertive enough to stand his ground and smart enough to get an adult involved when he needs to.