Potential low level bullying in Y6

[PalindromemordnilaP]

DD, age 10 Y6 has started saying a few things that are concerning to her father and I.

Small, mean comments made by Y6 boys. For example, she has to sit with a couple of boys at lunch and today they talked her into playing 'truth or dare.' DD picked truth and they asked her "have you ever had any friends?"

The odd occasion of being shoved when a boy is passing her, despite there being plenty of room to pass.

DD says that she's not bothered by it and "it could be much worse" and so doesn't want us to talk to the teacher.

Would you be concerned about this? If so, what's the best way to handle it?

Is this repeated behaviour by the same group of individuals and is she the only one being targeted?
As there is definitely a difference between bullying when it's repeated behaviour or just kids being rude and annoying once or twice - do the boys shove others in the hallway or is it always only her? Perhaps ask a few more questions about whats going on to pick up if they only do this to her..

I certainly had annoying boys in my class at primary - one who proceeded to kick me under the table whenever I sat opposite them - I wasn't being bullied by him, he was just being annoying and was probably bored and would have done it to anyone who was sat opposite him.

Perhaps write down yourself what she says and when, just to keep track of how things go - whether it dies down or escalates.

I wouldn't be personally too concerned if your DD isn't and you feel she would say if she wanted to ask for help and wouldn't try to ignore an actual problem so as not to cause a fuss.

Sounds like normal kids growing up behaviour tbh. I think jumping to describe this as bullying is OTT. You need to teach your dd how to handle people making the odd unpleasant comment. If it becomes a pattern with one child or group of children targeting her for their mean comments then yes, I would be more concerned.

I HATE when people write this shit off as 'normal' behaviour. There is nothing normally about going out of your way to hurt someone just for your own entertainment.

I'm a teacher and had this recently in a class at our school. I had taught the class previously and knew there were some ' overly entitled' types as I had communicated to their parents at the time that their behaviour wasn't showing a great amount of empathy. 3 years on they're a little gang tormenting other children. It is disgusting. It is being dealt with now, but at the time the class teacher argued with me that it was 'tit for tat'.

Definitely mention it and ensure the teacher is logging it. I have to log every incident of nastiness. They only way to see if it is targeted and repetitive is to keep a log.

My dd when in year 3 kept getting shoved by 2 boys whilst getting her coat. Her peg was between thetes, she's much smaller and I think sometimes they were just messing about and she was in the middle. I told her to say or shout shout very loudly don't you dare push me! Apparently she was never pushed again and the boys were very apologetic. I do think sometimes it's just annoying and thoughtless behaviour not bullying but I do think you need to encourage your daughter to stand up for herself and answer back etc.

This week DD has has stones thrown at her by one boy. One hit her on the head and left a small bump. Not any significant damage, however could have been much worse if it had hit her face/eye.

DD did tell a teacher about this incident and she "had a word" with the boy.

It doesn't seem to be always the same boys and isn't solely targeted at DD so I don't think that it rises to the level of bullying, but unfortunately there seems to be a bit of a culture amongst the Y6 boys of being intentionally unkind.

A group of Y6 boys were chasing an swearing at 7yo DD in the playground this week.

Is it something I should raise with the school and if so, how would you phrase it?

100% make the school aware of this. Especially so early in the year, these boys need to be told what's what. Year 6 is a tough age (I'm a Y6 teacher) and if these things aren't nipped in the bud quickly, they only get worse over the year. A quick word with your DD's teacher would be a good move.

I would absolutely raise the stone throwing and the chasing and swearing at a 7yo. School should take both very seriously

Throwing a stone at someone is a criminal offence. Your child is being bullied and harassed, no question. Ask for a meeting with the head teacher. Any child inflicting physical pain on another child should face potential exclusion. You really need to start advocating for your child.

Yes the school needs to know, the behaviour is escalating and if it is all since they started Y6 it sounds as though the Y6 boys have got themselves caught up in this nasty behaviour, and unfortunately it has become something that they are not mature enough to stop by themselves. I would approach the SMT ( either the head or the SMT member with responsibility for behaviour ) and say how very disappointing it is that the oldest children in the school are being allowed to set such a poor example to the others, and how it also appears that they are deliberately targeting girls which leads you to question how they deal with sex based bullying since equal opportunities is always such an issue when it comes to OFSTED . In any decent school this would start alarm bells ringing and they would I hope set up interventions/ PSHE sessions about taking responsibility for your own actions and not copying others poor behaviour , in addition I would want them to make sure that the boys were expected to show visible responsibility around the school and kindness towards other children eg reading with younger children, being playground buddies etc.