4 Year Old Separation Anxiety

[magentak8]

Hi Mamas,

Just got back from dropping off my little one to her settling in session at primary school and she's really struggling with the separation anxiety :(

My partner and I left as she was having a full blown scream and cry and I just feel awful.

Anyone else's little ones struggled with starting primary school? How long did it take for the them to settle?

It's so hard to say how long it will take your little one - someone's little one may settle after a week, others a month...

Have you tried giving her a little promise of something to do after-school - so ask her when I pick you up after-school, what would you like to do together?
Could be a park trip, library, bake a cake, watch a film, tablet time, board game, read stories, scooter/bike ride... whatever she decides write it down on a little bit of cardboard and draw a picture of what it is like a cake for baking cakes then give it to her before she goes into school to keep in her book bag or pocket if she has one - so something for her to physically have and look forward to and reassure her that you are coming back and you've promised something fun to do after.

Rather than the dark cloud of school looming over her and the dreaded drop off - she can think about the fun thing coming up afterwards.

Make sure you stay positive and confident at drop off and make it quick - have fun at school, I love you, I'll pick you up at 3pm, can't wait to bake cakes with you. Bye.

I baked an awful lot of little cakes with my son when he started school. He really struggled too, as did I, and it helped him to chat about the cakes we would make and then make them after school. He did start to settle in a few weeks as hopefully your dd will too.

I think it's early days yet and she may be ok by the end of the week. My daughter was like this for about 2 weeks but was ok 15 minutes after I dropped her off. I think in her case she had got herself into a habit. I made a reward chart with some gold stickers and I took it to school and got her to put one on just before she went in and when she came out. She had her eye on a doll at the time and I said if she collected the stars she would get it at the end of the week. It did distract her and she was ok after a day. I remember how horrible it was for both of us so you have my upmost sympathy.

@magentak8
First of all: one of you does school drop off. You are making a big deal of it with two of you present. She sees it as better to stay with you two.

So get a bit more businesslike. Quick goodbye. Say you will see her later. Hand her over to a kindly adult. What was she like at nursery/pre school? Just replicate that. ^^