Anyone not sending their DC on the YR6 residential?

WisteriaLodge · 2022-08-15T13:40:58+00:00

Just wondered if anyone was in the same boat as me/DD? She's said since YR4 that it would be awful for her, the girls in DDs class are super confident and popular, (nothing wrong with that I might add) and DD is the polar opposite, they often leave her out of things, not nastily I don't think, it's just they get caught up in themselves and a week would be too much to bear. We've given her a choice just in case, but she's adamant she's not going. No real point to this post, I'm just musing I suppose!

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 14:44

I think I meant bare not bear!

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FilePhoto · 15/08/2022 14:48

DS1 didn't go. It was his idea of hell. He didn't go on the year 7 or 8 one either.

Actually looking back I hated my year 6 residential too. I was thoroughly miserable.

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 14:52

Thanks FilePhoto that's what I'm thinking, DD has one friend who drops her like a hot potato if one of the popular girls wants to play with her..

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Biscuitsneeded · 15/08/2022 14:53

You were right the first time! Bear = to carry or deal with. Bare = to expose!

Sorry, I know that's not what you were asking... Is it really the case that every single other girl is confident and outgoing? Or are there some other more shy girls? I think it is really good for kids to do residentials, even more so if they are a bit lacking in confidence. Could you help by hosting couple of sleepovers with one nice, not wildly outgoing friend, and getting DD to sleep over at a friend's occasionally too?

Hothammock · 15/08/2022 14:56

My son's didn't go either. I encouraged them to but they were adamant it was their idea of hell and the trips were not anything new for them as we do very adventurous hols anyway and they have been sailing, climbing and swimming for years and did not see the attraction in a teacher supervised mild version of those things. They loved the activities that the school put on for them while the majority of their classmates were away!

screamingbanshees · 15/08/2022 14:57

I hated my Y6 residential and was sent on it despite protest. Had no friends so had to sleep in the same room as my bullies, then I ended up with an awful UTI and nobody would let me go home. None of it was fun.

And it cost my parents money!

Tibtab · 15/08/2022 14:59

I didn’t go on my year 6 residential, I hated the idea of it and I was lucky my parents let me stay home. I’d let your child decide.

ThickLizzy · 15/08/2022 15:00

I’m not sending dd. She is likely autistic with severe separation anxiety. She won’t even be left with family for ten minutes and couldn’t cope with going away overnight. She really doesn’t want to.

For the residential in y5 she went for the day but this one is further away and much busier. She doesn’t want to go, wouldn’t enjoy it and I see no benefit.

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:04

Hah! Thanks Biscuits that's good to know I got it right the first time! Regarding the girls in DDs class, I'm not exaggerating but yes, they are all super confident and popular, my DD has one friend who is desperate to be with the popular gang and drops DD in a flash if one of the other girls looks in her direction. She's done a sleepover with her friend but guess what? The friend invited 3 of the popular girls to the sleepover! DD thought it was going to be just her and her friend, but no! I can understand what you mean about the residential giving confidence, and in some children it can work, but DD has said she'll get left out again and I hate seeing her crushed, they'll all be leaving the school a couple of weeks after the residential anyway.

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lalaloopyhead · 15/08/2022 15:06

My dd didn't go - the trip involved canoeing and other outdoor/water activities. She was not a strong swimmer and also worried about being away from home - there were other people that didn't go so it wasn't a big deal.

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:07

Tibtab · 15/08/2022 14:59

I didn’t go on my year 6 residential, I hated the idea of it and I was lucky my parents let me stay home. I’d let your child decide.

Thank you, yes I will..

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Anjo2011 · 15/08/2022 15:08

Go with your gut feeling. You know your child better than anyone. My DD2 went on hers in May this year. She has friends but isn’t in the ‘popular’ crew. They each had to pick a friend to share a room/dorm with. She shared with her friends , really enjoyed the activities but didn’t overly enjoy the whole experience and said she wouldn’t want to go again. Is there a particular person she would be happy to share with ? If so you could talk to the school and explain how she’s feeling and to share with specific person would be best. My only caution would be not to let it be a pre determined thing that she never goes on any trips away as there will be experiences in the future that she will enjoy and want to go on albeit with some encouragement. Year 6 is still a relatively young age IMO and if she doesn’t fancy it it’s not the end of the world. The anxiety all round sometimes isn’t worth it.

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:11

Thanks for the replies everyone, it's good to know I'm not alone. That's awful screamingbanshees that must have been a week of pure hell

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shinynewapple22 · 15/08/2022 15:11

DS is now 21 so this wqs 10 years back - but when DS had his Y6 residential there were quite a few DC who didn't go . Including children who I had thought seemed quite confident and outgoing decided they didn't want to go as they didn't want to be away from their families .

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:19

Anjo2011 · 15/08/2022 15:08

Go with your gut feeling. You know your child better than anyone. My DD2 went on hers in May this year. She has friends but isn’t in the ‘popular’ crew. They each had to pick a friend to share a room/dorm with. She shared with her friends , really enjoyed the activities but didn’t overly enjoy the whole experience and said she wouldn’t want to go again. Is there a particular person she would be happy to share with ? If so you could talk to the school and explain how she’s feeling and to share with specific person would be best. My only caution would be not to let it be a pre determined thing that she never goes on any trips away as there will be experiences in the future that she will enjoy and want to go on albeit with some encouragement. Year 6 is still a relatively young age IMO and if she doesn’t fancy it it’s not the end of the world. The anxiety all round sometimes isn’t worth it.

Thank you, that's good advice. Yes they all have to pick a friend to share a room with but there's an odd number of girls and I bet you a million pounds DD won't get picked ( I've not said this to her btw) I bet even her only friend will pick one of the popular girls to room with and she'll end up the third wheel. I can see the whole thing getting messy to be honest. She is one of youngest in her class so maybe she's not ready to do these things just yet.

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CaptainCaveMum · 15/08/2022 15:21

We were happy to let our DD skip her year 6 residential. There were around 10 kids that didn’t go and they spent the week doing arts and crafts. She had a brilliant time - zero regrets. She still looks back at how much fun she had that week. She is a confident and popular teen now but still doesn’t like staying away from home. Some kids are just more comfortable in their own space.

Rocketpants50 · 15/08/2022 15:22

My DD didn't in yr5 - the class were not great with no permanent teacher. She didn't want to go, another girl in class also refused. Instead we took them on day trips for the week, was really lovely. She has been on trips since but sometimes opts out.

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:26

That's good to hear CaptainCaveMum

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Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:27

Rocketpants50 · 15/08/2022 15:22

My DD didn't in yr5 - the class were not great with no permanent teacher. She didn't want to go, another girl in class also refused. Instead we took them on day trips for the week, was really lovely. She has been on trips since but sometimes opts out.

That's a good idea..

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user1472145047 · 15/08/2022 15:32

We sent our ds and deeply regret it. He absolutely hated it.

Original poster

WisteriaLodge · 15/08/2022 15:36

user1472145047 · 15/08/2022 15:32

We sent our ds and deeply regret it. He absolutely hated it.

That's a shame but I have a feeling that will be us if she goes..

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